Taming a Wild Beast
by Jasafrass
Summary: An ancient clan sought after for their power that they can not use. A girl and her otter partner that only bring trouble. A lord on a hunt for said woman. An organization of extremely good looking guys. Oh boy. DISCONTINUED DeiOC HiOC, I only own the OCs.
1. Chapter 1

The woman, aged about eighteen, ducked just as the sword whipped past her, nicking off a strand of brown hair. She turned and glared at her pale-skinned opponent. Her eyes were dark brown at the center and lighter brown towards the end with cat-like pupils, giving her glare that extra "I'm-going-to-kill-you-look." She pulled back her lips and snarled, revealing pointed teeth, particularly her canines. And when she shut her mouth, her teeth poked out and rested on her bottom lip.

Sprawled on the ground on all fours, she leapt back and latched his limbs to the nearest tree, asking the same question for the umpteenth time.

"Why are you attacking me?"

Her opponent snickered and brushed back his raven hair. His olive eyes glinted with malice.

"I wouldn't be attacking you if you had come quietly dear. All I want is your body," he replied with a silky smooth voice. Her eyebrow began to twitch.

The woman let out another snarl and leapt from the tree, flying towards her opponent. As she pulled back her arm to release a punch, fire-like chakra began forming around her fist. Gradually, it transformed to a giant bear fist, and she swung it around, slashing the man across the face.

He cried out as three fine lines of blood appeared. The woman charged her chakra and slashed his arms. Soon, she was just plain punching him with her fists.

"Who are you!?" She growled, grabbing him by the collar. Her opponent smirked despite his conditions. "Orochimaru." He told her. Suddenly, his body melted in her hands and turned to hissing white snakes and fell to the ground and slithered away.

The woman snorted. "What a creep." She shivered and adjusted her messy brown hair, pulling it back to its usual ponytail. Suddenly, something shiny caught her eye, as she bent down to pick it up, a voice called her name.

"Arashi! Are you done yet?"

The woman, now known as Arashi, rolled her eyes. "Yes! Kawauso! You don't always need to hide when I'm in a battle." She stared at the object, it was a ring. "Ew. I'm beginning to wonder if that really was a guy."

At that moment, a figure appeared from the trees. It was a blue otter with gold stripes on its ears, tail, and arms and golden eyes. Strapped to his back was a large battleaxe. He absentmindedly scratched his ear.

"What's that, Arashi?"

Arashi shrugged and placed the ring on her right pinky. "A ring. It looks good on me; I think I'll keep it." At that moment, a small bird landed on Arashi's shoulder. She blinked and scratched its chin. "What kind of bird are you? I've never seen you before… And you're all mushy…" Arashi proceeded to poke the odd bird until it exploded.

Arashi shrieked and jumped back, rubbing her burnt face. Grumbling to herself, she channeled her own chakra and slowly began to heal her wound while Kawauso grabbed his battleaxe in his paws.

"A medic, hmm? That could be useful."

Two men walked or slid out of the bushes. One was taller than the other with long blonde hair tied up in a half ponytail that covered his left eye. His visible eye was a light blue. The other man was much shorter with a mask that covered his chin and a white scorpion tail hovering over his head. Each wore the same outfit- a black cloak with red clouds.

Arashi snorted and removed her hand now that her wound was fully healed. "Okay guys, trust me. I've had enough gay people come bother me today."

Kawauso squinted his eyes. "No, Arashi. One of them is a girl." He pointed to the blonde. Arashi blinked. "No way, Kawauso. That's a guy."

"Girl."

"Guy."

"Girl."

"Guy."

Kawauso sighed. "Arashi. I know a woman when I see one and that's a woman for- OH CRAP." He narrowly rolled his way away from a punch from said "woman."

"I'm a guy, hmm!" He stated. Arashi glanced at Kawauso, giving him the "I-told-you-so" look. The otter groaned.

"Sasori-danna, stand back, I'll take care of these bitches, hmm." The blonde said.

The other man, Sasori, nodded and slid back. "Just don't keep me waiting, Deidara."

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I know." His hand traveled down to his waist. Pushing his cloak aside, he unzipped a bag and stuck his hand in it. "You know, you could always just give me the ring and you'd get away unharmed, hmm."

Arashi grinned. "Like that would happen." She motioned Kawauso to stay back as she stepped forward. Deidara grinned back. "Didn't think so."

He snapped his hand out of his pack and tossed some small clay spiders that began to crawl towards Arashi. Now it's not like she doesn't like spiders, but she had the strange feeling that she need to dodge them. Arashi jumped out of the way just as one exploded at her feet. She continued to dance around, dodging explosion after explosion until the ground below her erupted. Before she could move, a centipede had wrapped itself around her body.

Deidara smirked. "I gotta say, hmm…" He brought his fingers into a hand sign and held it before his face. "That was a tad easy. KA-"

His trademark word was cut off by a force crushing his torso, squeezing the air from his lungs as he was constricted. He winced as he noticed his clay centipede was sliced in half, probably by that damned otter. He moved his eyes to see a large purple snake with gleaming green slitting eyes staring back at him. As its tongue flicked out, Deidara noticed that it actually had two slender purple tongues.

The snake raised its head and nodded to Kawauso. The otter grinned at it and turned to face Sasori. With his battleaxe above his head, he charged and slashed. His attack was flawlessly blocked by Sasori's scorpion tail. Snarling, Kawauso swung his weapon again and again. The snake turned its attention back to its captive. "Now then… I suggest we settle this without fighting. I hate killing people like this." It hissed S's coming out like long hisses. Deidara frowned. This was probably that girl… Arashi? It was probably her summon animal, like that otter.

All thoughts were erased from his mind as he felt sword like objects dig into his side. Wincing, he looked down and noticed that the snake's tail had a band with quills. And said quills were sticking out and into his side. The snake narrowed its piecing eyes. "Sorry about this but-"It froze and slowly turned to Sasori. Kawauso was wrapped inside of the scorpion tail. He waved, "Hi Arashi!"

Deidara's eyes widened. Arashi? This… thing… Was Arashi? "I suggest you release him," Sasori ordered. Snake Arashi hissed and withdrew her quills, releasing her grip and slithering off of Deidara. The two men watched as Snake Arashi's scales melted into flesh and legs grew. Without even a puff of smoke, the brunette woman transformed back.

"Now I want you to answer questions." Sasori lengthened his tail so that he could put the tip to Arashi's throat while still holding Kawauso. "How did you do that?"

Arashi smirked, "It's my special ability. I take the DNA of animals, store it, and use my chakra to enhance the animal with abilities. I have five transformations, not including my human form."

Sasori nodded, "What are the five?" Arashi shut her brown eyes. "The Snake, what you just saw. The Weasel, the Phoenix, the Lion, and the Giraffe." Sasori pressed the tip closer to her throat. "And what can they do?" Arashi opened her eyes to roll them. "Geez. You ask a lot of questions. Okay, the Snake stores poison and uses them for various purposes. It can also absorb any poison, making it immune. The Weasel, a personal favorite, is an escape artist and it can turn invisible… And I happen to steal stuff often in that form… For… no reason. But anyway, the Phoenix is… a phoenix that breathes fire and what not. You know a phoenix. The Lion can absorb electricity into its mane and… electrocute stuff. And the Giraffe has mirrors that reflect attacks."

Kawauso sighed. Arashi shot him a glare but looked away. She really shouldn't have told them all that but they did have the upper hand. Sasori closed his eyes. "And you're also a medic. Do you know any certain jutsus?"

"No." Kawauso answered. "She can't do anything. She was born and raised by animals in a forest so no one taught her how to do anything. Trust me, man. She sucks at everything." Arashi kicked him, silencing him from any more leaked information.

Deidara walked towards them, holding his side. "So I guess you don't have a village, hmm?" Arashi glared at Kawauso before shaking his head. "One last question." Sasori stared at Kawauso. "What _is_ that?"

Kawauso beamed, glad to have some attention. "I'm Kawauso, Arashi's partner and-"Arashi cut in, "I rescued him when he was an ordinary otter and used my ability to give him water controlling powers. I was originally going to use a form like Kawauso's, but I figured he needed it more than me. Oh and I bought him that axe."

"Stole it." Kawauso corrected.

Arashi glared. "**Bought** it."

"Stole it."

"Bought it."

"Stole it."

"KAWAUSO."

"… Bought it…"

Arashi sighed. "That's better. Now then- ACK." With one swift movement, Deidara blindfolded Arashi as well as Kawauso and tied their hands up. Sasori nodded and Deidara began to tie the two together. Kawauso protested, "What in hell's name are you doing?" Deidara rolled his eyes, "Sasori-danna, should we gag them, hmm?"

"No." He replied. "Just tie them up and let's go. This is taking too long." Deidara smirked and reached into his clay bag. Moments later, he formed a clay swan and tossed it forward, creating a bigger replica. As Sasori made his way on top of the swan, Deidara tied Arashi and Kawauso to the bird's stomach. He leapt on top of the bird and soared into the air.

"Oh God, Arashi." Kawauso whispered.

"What now?" She hissed.

"They're going to rape us."

This, of course, freaked Arashi out. She began squirming around. "Let us go!"

Deidara smirked and glanced down at her. "You'll fall off if you keep doing that, hmm."

Now it was Kawauso who freaked out. "FALL OFF OF WHAT? ARE WE FLYING!? I HATE HEIGHTS."

"KAWAUSO YOU MORON WE'VE FLOWN BEFORE." Arashi yelled.

"WELL I'VE ALWAYS HATED IT."

Arashi sighed, "Just find a way to calm yourself." Kawauso was silent, thinking. Suddenly, and idea popped into his head. "Oh! I know. A travel song! You guys know any- MMF."

Sasori gagged Kawauso with his tail.


	2. Chapter 2

"We're here, hmm."

No answer.

"Arashi? Kawauso, hmm?"

Still nothing. Deidara landed the swan and Sasori went over to go and check the two captives. Who were fast asleep, might I add. Grumbling to himself, Sasori severed the ropes and none too gently shook them awake.

"I STILL CAN'T SEE." Kawauso yelled. "Shut up, hmm." Deidara ordered and grabbed the otter by his scruff. Sasori wrapped his tail around Arashi and dragged her behind him.

"What the- THIS ISN'T HOW YOU TREAT A LADY." She yelled. "You're not much of a lady, hmm." Deidara said. Kawauso snickered. "Says the cross dresser." Deidara frowned and pulled on Kawauso's fur. "Ouch, man! I gotta keep that clean you know!"

They began walking/being dragged down a grassy hillside. They came to a lake with an island in the middle. From the island, there were a few wisps of smoke rising up to the sky. By using the chakra in their feet, the two men walked across the water with ease. But Arashi and Kawauso on the other hand…

"GAH! WET!" Arashi flailed her arms as Sasori's tail dropped too low and a she skimmed the water. Kawauso, however, seemed very excited.

"Oh my god! Water! Can I go for a dip?" Deidara growled at the blindfolded otter. "No, hmm."

"Please?"

"No, I said."

"Oh come on!"

Deidara rolled his eyes and silently made his way to the island. Soon, they were off the grass and climbing up the island's grassy slope. Arashi, still dripping wet, did not seem amuse. And Kawauso was pouting.

Deidara checked to make sure no one was watching. He then made a hand sign, and his ring glowed momentarily. The ground before them melted as the genjustu wore off, revealing a tunnel to God knows where. Without a sound, Sasori and Deidara jumped into the tunnel and began walking. Now was the time that Arashi and Kawauso started freaking out.

"Okay, seriously. Where are you taking us?" Arashi asked. She received no answer. "Please? … OH COME ON." She began to thrash about. "Stop squirming and I'll tell you," ordered Sasori. When she stopped, Sasori cleared his throat. "We'll tell you when you get there."

Arashi and Kawauso groaned. The rest of their not so lovely trek down the long dark hallway was silent again, aside from their footsteps that echoed off the walls. Sasori released Arashi and Deidara let go of Kawauso's scruff.

"We're here." Sasori announced. "Follow us and don't say anything." The duo began to walk down a path.

"STILL BLINDFOLDED." Arashi yelled. Kawauso walked into a wall, proving her point. Grumbling to himself, Deidara untied the blindfolds quickly. "Okay, hmm. Hurry up."

Arashi blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dark light. They were in a cave in an opening, rocks jutting out from the ground. There was another hallway to her left, and Arashi could see light filtering at the end.

"Well we're here, right? So what exactly are we getting dragged into?" She asked.

"Hurry up and we'll explain." Sasori told her as he began sliding down the other hallway. Kawauso followed without a word, but Arashi shot Deidara a glare before following Sasori. Deidara returned her glare by sticking out his tongue immaturely. She rolled her eyes and walked faster to get away from him. But Deidara wasn't about to give in that easily.

He walked right beside her, and when Arashi tried to avoid her, he kept following her. Sighing, she gave up.

"Okay, what do you want?" She asked, eye twitching.

"You wanted to know what you got you and your pet over there into, right, hmm."

Arashi's eyes widened, and she nodded.

"Alright, hmm. Sasori and I are members of Akatsuki."

"Aka-whata?"

"Akatsuki you moron. A criminal organization, hmm. Up until now, we didn't have a medical ninja, so know you're stuck with us, hmm."

Arashi groaned. "So I'm stuck with you two _and_ Kawauso?"

Kawauso glared at her. "No." Sasori said. She raised an eyebrow. "Your stuck with the two of us an eight other people."

Before she could scream and fall to the ground in tears, they entered the end of the hallway and walked into a light. Instead of crying, Arashi stared at the cave, lit brightly by light bulbs strung on the ceilings. They were in a circular clearing with a couch and TV. The floor was carpeted, and there were two hallways at either side of the clearing.

"Great, now let's get you two to Leader's room, hmm." Deidara began walking to the left hallway. "Hold on!" Arashi protested. The partners ignored her and kept walking. "Who says that I wanted to be a part of a coldhearted criminal organization?"

"Do you have anywhere else to go, hmm?" Deidara asked her without meeting her eyes. Arashi didn't answer this, but decided to shut her mouth. They walked past a series of doors and reached one at the end of the hallway. Deidara knocked on the door.

"Oh god, what now? Come in." A voice said. Deidara opened the door and they entered an office. An orange haired man sat in a chair. His eyes had ripple like patterns and he was covered in piercings. He was focused on a Rubix cube. Deidara pointed towards two seats in front of the desk. Arashi and Kawauso sat down while Deidara and Sasori stood behind them.

Finally, the Leader snarled and slammed down the unfinished cube. Kawauso reached to play with it, but Arashi smacked his arm. "Okay, hurry up. Who are these people… And otter."

"The girl is Arashi and the otter is named Kawauso." Sasori explained. Leader sighed, "And why did you bring them."

"Arashi here has medical abilities. She also has Orochimaru's ring so we figured we could recruit her."

"Very well. What can you do, Arashi."

Arashi groaned, having to go through this again. She explained her abilities as did Kawauso. Leader nodded. "Very well, you're in."

"WHAT?!" Everyone except Sasori yelled. "That easily? Sir Leader-" Deidara started. Sir Leader shot him a glare, and he shut up. Leader reached for an intercom. He pressed the red button and yelled into it, "EVERYONE! MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM." He then stood up and motioned the four to follow him.

"Hey, is your name really just Leader?" Kawauso asked as they exited the door.

"No, it's Pein." He answered.

Kawauso began to giggled, but Arashi kicked him before he could say anything. They made their way to the clearing they were in before, except now it was full of… well. Freaks.

A few of them were leaning against the walls, while some were on the couch. None of them looked too happy, except for one, but his face was covered by an orange mask. All of them, except for the orange masked one, wore uniforms matching Deidara, Sasori, and Pein as well. There were six in all.

_Six?_ Arashi thought. _Didn't Deidara say there were eight more people?_

"Everyone, these are our newest members. Arashi, the girl, and Kawauso, the otter." Pein explained.

"Why the hell are we going to have a freaking fur coat as a member?" One of them with slicked down silver hair asked.

Kawauso hid behind Arashi. "He's not a member, he's just Arashi partner." Pein said.

Arashi said nothing. She was too freaked out. Why? **There was no woman in sight.** All guys… _and_ Kawauso!

"Okay, I'm going back to my office- Wait. Where's Konan?" Pein looked around the room. "KONAN!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." A bored face. Light seemed to pour down from the heavens as a blue haired _woman_ entered the living room. "Geez, Pein. Do you always have to-"

She stopped when she saw Arashi. Arashi stared back. "Oh my god." Konan whispered. She ran and gave Arashi a hug. Arashi hugged her back, and the two fell to the ground, sobbing.

"MY HEROINE." Konan and Arashi sobbed.

Everyone else stared while Sir Leader made his way back to the office.

"Okay, stop with the lovefest already, hmm." Deidara ordered. Reluctantly, the woman broke up as Deidara began introducing everyone.

"Okay, the black haired guy with lines on his eyes is the asshole called Itachi Uchiha, hmm. He murdered his whole clan and such, hmm." Arashi stared at Itachi. He looked bored. He killed his whole clan? She caught sight of Kawauso, who looked unimpressed. The liar.

"And shark boy over there is Kisame, hmm. Don't touch his sword, Samehada. Ever. And-" Deidara was cut off when Kawauso ran over and started chewing on Kisame's leg. "YAY! Fish, food at last." He grinned. Arashi walked over, smacked him, and dragged him away.

"… And the guy with the orange lollipop mask is-"

"TOBI! And he's a good boy!" "Tobi" squeaked.

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, hmm. Okay the other masked guy is Kakuzu and he's a money hoarding freak, hmm." Deidara ducked as threads were shot in his direction.

"I'm Akatsuki's treasury." Kakuzu explained.

Deidara sighed and stood back up. "That guy over there is Hidan, hmm. He's a loud-mouthed idiot. Ignore everything he says about that Jashin guy. In fact, just ignore him, hmm."

Hidan shot out a few choice words before Deidara continued. "Okay then, hmm. Plant-head is Zetsu… He eats flesh so… Yeah."

Arashi stepped back a bit.

"And he's schizophrenic. He talks to himself a lot, hmm. And finally, our previously only female member, Konan, hmm." Konan smiled at Arashi. "She's with Pein." Deidara whispered.

Kawauso yawned. "That's great. So- OH MY GOD." Sasori had opened himself up, revealing a red-head who stepped out of the shell. "SASORI EVOLVED. No wait. HE GAVE BIRTH." Arashi punched Kawauso hard on the skull.

"You idiot, hmm. That's his true form. He normally hides in Hiruko, the puppet, all day." Deidara said. The other members began going down the hallway, Deidara and Sasori one of them. Arashi blinked, looking very lost.

"Don't worry, I'll give you the tour." Konan chirped. "This way!" She skipped down the left hallway, Arashi following her. Kawauso groaned and rubbed his head.

"These are our rooms. Itachi's, Kisame's, Deidara's, Sasori's, Hidan's, Kakuzu's, Tobi's (whose door was badly painted), Zetsu's don't go in there, mine, Pein's is at the end and this-" She stopped at a door across from her own room. "- is your room."

Arashi opened the door and entered her room. It was nothing special, a bed, a desk, a wardrobe, and a closet. There was another door on the left side.

"Yeah, sorry for the bad quality. Kakuzu's a money hoarder. Oh, that door leads to the infirmary." Konan explained as she opened the infirmary's door. It had a few beds and cabinets with a few supplies. Nothing special. They probably didn't get hurt often though.

"Okay, now to the other hallway." Konan led them back down the hallway and into another one. There were two bathrooms- a men's and a women's, a kitchen, a library, and a door at the end that led outside.

"Well, that's everything. Dinner's in an hour so… Yeah." With that, she walked back to her room, leaving Arashi and Kawauso alone.

It was dead silent until Kawauso broke the silence. "So now what?"

Yeah it's short, but oh well.


	3. Chapter 3

Arashi didn't really know what to do, so she just started walking to her new room. Kawauso shrugged and waddled beside her. They made their way passed the rooms they were just introduced to. And the rooms they were going to be stuck in for… ever I guess.

They made their way to the living room and bumped into an overly pierced man.

"Oh, there you are," Pein said, "I forgot to give you your uniforms."

_Leaders shouldn't forget things._ Arashi though. Pein handed Arashi a black cloak with red clouds exactly like the other members. Beneath the cloak was a pair of pants, sandals, and a fishnet shirt. Pein then reached in his pocket and handed her a bottle of… A bottle… of…

Purple nail polish. He set it on top of the clothing. "Oh and, Kawauso can wear this." Pein tossed the otter a bandana decorated with the same pattern as the Akatsuki cloak. Arashi stared at the leader. Pein met her gaze and raised a brow. "What?"

"Aren't most of the members guys?"

"So?"

"And we have nail polish because?"

"JUST GET CHANGED."

"Okay, okay, geez." Arashi carried her clothes down to her new room to be shared with a blue otter.

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Arashi stared at the blank and lifeless room. Not like it had a life to begin with, but still. It was so dull.

"Well this sucks." Kawauso began exploring their room a bit more. "Konan says dinner's in an hour. So what do we do till then?"

"Decorate." Arashi answered. Well that was stupid. It's not like they had any belongings beside some clothes. Arashi quickly stored her clothes in the wardrobe. She emptied her weapons in the desk's drawers and looked at the time.

Fifty five minutes to go. She sighed. "I am so bored." Kawauso flopped onto the bed. Arashi glared at him. "You do know that you are sleeping on a pillow on the floor, right?"

The otter sighed, "There are no windows in this entire … base."

Arashi looked around the room, and her eye caught something. She walked over to a wall and felt around. She touched curtains, opening them instantly. A window appeared.

Kawauso sat up, "Who the hell uses matching curtains?!"

Arashi noticed that the curtains weren't in good condition. She glanced at her partner. "Kakuzu." They said together. Arashi opened the window to let in fresh air and poked her head outside.

Wind whipped her brown hair around. Stunned, Arashi looked down to see that the base was on a towering mountain. Smoke spiraled from the very top, and birds cawed, flying all around.

The genjutsu was what was making this mountain invisible to the naked eye. But why had she seen smoke? Staring at the birds, Arashi assumed that it was her animal-like attributes. Glancing downwards, she noted the forest that surrounded the mountain, and the lake in the distance.

She pulled her head back inside, allowing Kawauso to look.

"I'm going to fix up the medicine cabinets." Arashi told him before walking into the infirmary.

She opened the cabinets and emptied all its contents. Grabbing the medicine bag around her waist, she unzipped it and emptied her herbs.

… Well that's not good. Arashi had forgotten she was running out of supplies.

"Oh well," she said and walked to the wall of the infirmary, finding and opening the curtains. Sliding the window open, Arashi stuck her head outside, brought her fingers to her lips and whistled.

The sound was carried into the wind. Moments later, the birds that had been circling the mountain began to file inside of the infirmary.

"Alright. I need you to go and gather some herbs for me, if you don't mind." Arashi told them.

_Who gave you the right to boss us around?_ One bird demanded.

Arashi, being able to understand their language, sighed. She handed some bird seed to them. "Only if you agree to help me."

_GOOD LORD._ The birds began devouring the food. _Fair enough… er…_

"Arashi."

_Fair enough, Arashi. You got yourself a deal._

Arashi smiled and read off a list of the needed plants. The birds flew out through the window. She'd have to get to know all the animals in the area. Arashi settled down into a chair and began sorting the medicines until the first bird flew in. It dropped the plants without a chirp before flapping to retrieve some more.

Arashi soon had to work faster as more and more herbs began piling up. She lost complete track of time when Kawauso bounded into the infirmary and yelled in her ear. Arashi froze up and flopped to the ground.

"… Uh… Dinner."

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Arashi and Kawauso were the last two to come to dinner, everyone was already seated. … And everyone was staring at them. Her eye twitching, Arashi sat next to Konan and across from Deidara.

"I'm scared." She whispered.

"You get used to it." Konan told her. Arashi was beginning to doubt she would.

The food arrived, and Arashi stared at the plate that was slammed in front of her. She looked next to her. Not surprisingly, Kawauso was devouring his food no problem. And so was everyone else.

Her eye twitched. Before her was **steak**. Fresh, steaming steak. Arashi felt sick looking at it. And even sicker seeing Kawauso eat it. Without even thinking… Augh.

Hidan suddenly stopped eating to stare at Arashi. "What the hell's your problem? It's not poison or some shit like that."

Arashi glared at him. Kawauso stopped shoveling in food and cleared his throat.

"Arashi's a big vegetarian. And tree hugger. She won't eat meat and crap, no matter how hard I try." Arashi shot Kawauso a glare. "Yeah, I timed her. She talked about animal abuse and what not for three hours and forty nine minutes."

Arashi groaned. "Do you have any… salad or something?"

The rest of the Akatsuki members fell silent, aside from Tobi. He was trying to eat but he kept on forgetting to move his mask.

And then the entire table- aside from Itachi, who had no sense of humor, and Tobi, who had no idea what was going on- erupted into laughter.

"Oh my god, hmm!" Deidara managed to get out. Arashi's eye started twitching more. "That is the stupidest thing I've ev-"Deidara couldn't finish his sentence before Arashi slugged him in the face, knocking him off the chair and crashing into the nearest wall.

Arashi stood up and grabbed a head of lettuce out of the fridge. She sat back down in her seat and began tearing at that.

Deidara grunted and sat back up, rubbing the blood off of the corner of his mouth. "Damn, she's worse than Konan, hmm."

Arashi shot him another warning glare.

"Well, I think she'll fit in just fine." Konan said.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: I do not like to swear in my writer for the sake of the younger viewers. So Hidan's language isn't as bad as it should be. BUT OH WELL.

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Later that night, Arashi was sleeping, or trying to, with Kawauso flopped on his back and snoring loudly at the foot of the bed. Snoring is what kept Arashi from sleeping.

Suddenly, the newly recruited Akatsuki shot up in bed. "Ah shit." Kawauso stopped snoring (much to her delight) "What?" He yawned.

Arashi sighed, "Forgot that I needed to go and get some more herbs since the birds couldn't find any."

Kawauso grunted and curled back up in his pillow. "Well do it tomorrow and go to sleep." The brunette grumbled to herself before pulling the covers over her. She slowly began to drift to sleep when Kawauso started snoring again.

Okay, note to self, get a muzzle for your otter.

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That morning after breakfast in which the other members had thought twice about eating bacon, Arashi approached Leader's door. She paused before knocking, for Pein had already heard her coming. He didn't sound pleased.

"WHAT, GOD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He roared as he flung open the door. Arashi blinked. "WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? PEIN THIS! PEIN THAT. LEADER! ARGH I CAN'T TAKE IT." Pein stopped his rant.

"You done?" Arashi asked after a few moments.

"Yeah." Pein answered.

"Well anyway. I'm low on herbs that I need to make medicines. And the birds I called couldn't get any so I thought that I would go to the forest nearby to get some."

Pein nodded his approval. "Great. I'll get someone to come with you."

"Wait! I don't need anyone! I can go alone!" Arashi protested.

"Yeah but how do I know you won't try to escape. Let's see…" He glanced around the hallway.

"HIDAN!" Deidara called.

The Jashinist ran down the hallway, Deidara chasing after him with a clay bird. Arashi and Pein stared as the two broke out in a fist fight.

"Perfect! Hidan apparently needs some time out. I'll get him to come with you." Leader declared.

"WHAT?" Hidan and Arashi cried. The sculptor inched back to his room, shutting the door to avoid any conflict.

"Well someone needs to go," said Pein.

"BUT WHY HIM OF ALL PEOPLE. Why not Tobi!?" Arashi cried.

In the distance a faint, "Tobi is a good boy!"

"He's too stupid to guard someone, now get going. You're to leave in one hour." Pein answered.

"Wait! Can't Kawauso come with me?" asked Arashi.

"Nope! I'm going fishing with Kisame! See ya!" The otter waved and bounded with the shark man towards the exit of the base.

Arashi's eye twitched as she faced Hidan.

"So, are you ready to-"

"Touch me and die." Arashi warned.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, Arashi reluctantly dragged herself out of the base's doors to meet Hidan who was waiting for her. The wind whipped through her hair as she made her way towards him. A long, winding trail led down the base of the mountain. The lake was in the distance and the forest to the left.

"Well hurry the hell up. We should get there by afternoon if we go now," Hidan said.

"Are you forgetting that I can transform?" Arashi asked. "There's no way I will stay within ten feet of you for that amount of time. Now if you excuse me…"

Arashi concentrated, and ignited herself in flames that encased her body in seconds. Shocked, Hidan threw up his arms to protect his body from the sudden blast of heat. A long neck emerged from the fire and a pair of glossy white wings flapped the embers away. A phoenix appeared, pure white with orange eyes beak. Its wings were orange at the tips, and two long tail feathers were orange at the tips as well. It stood about twenty feet tall with a twice as large wingspan. Tied on its right leg was an Akatsuki bandanna. That gave away who the phoenix was.

Arashi bent down to glare at Hidan. "We travel my way." Hidan cautiously took a step back. "There's no way in hell I'm flying." Arashi rolled her eyes and clamped her beak and the collar of Hidan's cloak.

She beat her wings and flew into the air. "We should get there in under a minute my way." She said as rose higher into the air.

"H-hey! Freaking put me down, bitch!" Hidan squirmed. Arashi's eyes glinted. "Fine." She tossed the Jashinist into the air. Just as Hidan began flying to the ground, the phoenix caught him in her talons.

Hidan didn't say anything after, but Arashi could feel him shaking.

Moments later, they landed. Arashi tossed Hidan to the ground and transformed back to her human self. As her feathers melted to become skin and she shrunk to normal size, Hidan finally regained himself enough to, of course, yell at her.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND BITCH?" He yelled, standing back up while using the tree as support.

Yes. Arashi thought to herself.

Hidan winced and clutched his stomach. "Oh man, oh man. I think I'm gonna freaking hurl." Arashi cautiously sauntered away. "You shithead." Shithead? "I think you gave me a fear of heights."

SCORE! Ten points.

"And a heart attack." Hidan moaned.

Plus five if he passes out now. Arashi crossed fingers behind her back.

Hidan sighed. "Okay, let's get this over with."

Damn.

"Alright, here are the pictures of the herbs I need." She handed them some photos. "Meet me here in an hour."

Hidan examined the photos. "Great. Now if you excuse me." He turned around and began to throw up. Arashi's eye twitched and she quickly sauntered away.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hidan groaned to himself. It's been ten minutes and not one herb in sight. And his back was starting to ache from bending over. At least he didn't feel queasy anymore.

He stared at the picture. Had he seen that before? Completely absorbed in the picture, he bumped into another large object.

He looked up and came face to face with a translucent giraffe. It screamed and dropped the pant it was collected, hiding behind the tree. Hidan raised a brow and approached it. The animal squeaked and cowered. The Jashinist took note of the Akatsuki bandanna on its right leg. Hidan snickered.

"What the hell's wrong with ya, Arashi?"

Arashi scuttled backwards. "I-I'm sorry about the… flying incident, really!"

Hidan raised a brow. "I-I'll make it up to y-you! I swear!" continued Arashi. She regained herself long enough to transform back to her human form. Immediately, she was upon Hidan.

"Don't. Say. Anything." She growled. "My transformations come with different personalities so…" Hidan smirked, "I won't, seriously. I swear. But…" Arashi crawled off of him. "What."

"How would you like to be my bitch?" Eye twitch. "HELL NO." Arashi yelled. Hidan sat up with the smirk still plastered on his face. "Aw come on! … Or…" He slid closer to her. "Are you Deidara's bitch?" Eye twitch part two. "Once again, HELL NO!" She punched him and sent him flying into the bushes.

She started to look for herbs again. "He didn't find any, either. What a useless idiot." She groaned to herself.

The minutes started passing, and not a word or even grunt from Hidan. Afternoon rolled by, and Arashi had found most of the herbs she needed. By now, she thought she might as well check on Hidan. When she walked over to the spot he landed, she found him sprawled on the ground. And he didn't look like he was breathing.

YES! She killed him. No wait. OH SHIT. She was so doomed. How could she have killed him that easily? Maybe he was allergic to the leaves on the bush and had an allergic reaction. … No wait. That can't be right. Maybe a squirrel scuttled by and he was highly allergic. Okay, that was stupid. MAYBE HE ACTUALLY HAD THAT HEART ATTACK. Oh crap, that can't be good.

Arashi picked a twig off the ground and began to prod Hidan with it. He remained still. Well that didn't work. Arashi threw the stick away. Maybe she should go for the medic approach and check for a pulse. Sighing, she moved closer to Hidan.

And his purple eyes snapped opened. Before she could react, Hidan sat up and nearly

NEARLY

Kissed her. On the lips. Arashi shrieked and commenced strangling him, bashing his head against the tree. Finally she stopped and crawled away from him while shaking. Hidan rubbed his head. "Ouch. Bitch that hurt."

"You were supposed to be dead." Arashi hissed. "I can't freaking die, idiot. I'm immortal."

IMMORTAL?

NOO! Now she was going to have to put up with him as long as she lived. Hidan grinned, "Yeah. You could be too if you followed Jashin." Arashi stood up. "Let's just go home already." She noticed Hidan paling. "And we can walk."

Hidan grinned and began walking up to her. She stomped on his foot. "FIVE FEET AWAY, PERVERT." The grin didn't leave his face, and he didn't listen to her either.

Arashi sighed and gave up, heading back to the base. It got quiet then, until Hidan had to bring up Deidara. Again.

"So, what the hell do you think of Deidara?"

"Hate him," she replied.

"You do not."

Arashi ignored him and walked faster, but Hidan kept with her pace. "He likes you, you know."

"No he doesn't," Arashi snorted.

"He freaking does! Haven't you seen the bitch looking at you? And you don't even like him back? Man, that's harsh."

Arashi was trying very hard not to punch him. "If it makes him feel better, I hate you more."

"So you do like him?"

The next second, Hidan was clinging for his life as Arashi decided to fly back to the base instead of walking.

---------------------------------------------------------

Kisame and Kawauso had caught a fresh batch of fish that were lying in a bucket. They had finally made their way up the mountain when Hidan fell from the sky and crashed into the ground. Kawauso and Kisame stopped, starting.

Arashi landed neatly nearby in phoenix form. She quickly changed back and glared at Hidan.

"… I guess it went well?" Kisame asked.

"NO!" Arashi screamed and stomped into the base.

Hidan groaned and struggled to his feet. He smirked at Kisame. "She likes me."

Kawauso blinked. "I'm finding that hard to believe."


	5. Chapter 5

The last thing she really needed right now was Kawauso bothering her. Kawauso seemed to know this, as he was bothering her right now.

Arashi finished her lunch in less than a minute, gnawing on the plate as Kawauso went about with his questions.

"So, how's Hidan?" "Have you spoken to Deidara lately?" "I'm hungry." "… Are you going to share some of that?" "Aw come on, please?"

The conversation ended with Arashi knocking her otter partner unconscious with the plate. Kakuzu heard the crash and ran to the kitchen to see Arashi, of course, strangling Kawauso.

But that wasn't important. What was important was that THE PLATE WAS BROKEN.

"ARASHI!" He yelled and began to gather the plate pieces.

"It wasn't me it was Kawauso. I swear!" protested Arashi. "Huh what?" Kawauso blinked his eyes open. "And uh. Now he's using the whole innocent thing on you. Don't listen to him."

"We're running low on money, Arashi. We can't afford losing anything," Kakuzu informed her.

Kawauso began to protest, "We're not low on money-"

"YES WE ARE." The miser yelled.

Arashi decided now was a good time to flee. She dragged her otter partner back to their room and slammed the door shut.

Kakuzu rushed back to his room and counted all his money, making sure that every last bill was there.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh come on, Arashi. It'll be fun," Kawauso pleaded.

Arashi kept her attention on the herbs she was organizing. "I'm not hitting on anyone."

"You already had a guy hit on you."

Arashi's eye twitched. "I'd rather not be reminded of that."

Kawauso smirked, "You'd make a great slut."

Arashi proceeded to crush some of the medicinal leaves, pretending they were Kawauso's head. Kawauso noticed the Arashi's tenseness. He decided it was best not to push her any further.

"… Well uh… I'm going to spar with Kisame now." The otter cautiously stepped towards the door before dashing out of the infirmary.

Arashi sighed and dumped paste into a bowl. She was mixing it when a bird entered through the window. Arashi had decided to leave it open on warm days such as this one in case of emergencies. She had habits of rushing to animals' needs.

"_Yo, 'Rashi."_

"Didn't I tell you not to call me that?" Arashi snapped.

"_Whatever._" The bird, a cardinal, flapped over and landed on her shoulder. "_Whatcha doin'?"_

Birds; some of the nosiest animals to exist. Squirrels are the number one. "Okay, what do you want?"

"_I wanna know who that guy was."_ Oh great. "What guy?" Arashi hissed.

"_The one in the forest."_ Arashi slammed her head against the desk. "You're free to leave now." She muttered through gritted teeth.

The red bird cocked its head but flew out the window. Arashi walked over to shut it and stared down at the squirrel that was climbing up. The rodent waved. Arashi glared and slammed the door shut.

"I have to go see Konan," she muttered.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Konan was giving herself a manicure when Arashi knocked on the door and rushed inside of her room. "KONAN."

"Did you kill Hidan?" The female Akatsuki asked.

"Thought I did. Wish I did. Didn't. But that's not why I'm here." Arashi sat next to Konan.

"Don't tell me. You're being hit on," she said plainly.

"Yes! How'd you guess?"

"It happens. Then they found out about me and Pein and well. They decided to avoid me."

"So when are they going to stop?" Arashi asked hopefully.

"Never!"

"WHAT?"

Konan finished her manicure and turned to Arashi, "Who are they anyway? It can't be that bad."

"Hidan and Deidara."

"HOLY SHIT. You poor thing."

"I know."

The two sole female members hugged each other and cried. At this moment Pein walked in.

"Konan I-"He paused to stare at the ladies. "… Never mind."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After she had regained herself, Arashi decided to spar. She needed a good battle after all, not to mention blow some steam off. And she also needed to make sure Kawauso wasn't getting himself killed.

Arashi noticed how quiet the base was. No breaking objects, no screams or yells. This probably means they're killing each other somewhere else. Only a few were out on missions, so Arashi decided to head for the exit.

The wind was still as Arashi left the base. No one outside. Well it wasn't like she'd been there long enough to actually know every square inch of the base. But she did notice a path that led around the mountain.

Nothing better to do, so why not explore a little? Arashi began walking down the path.

And moments later Kawauso was flung in her face. She caught the blue otter and glared at him.

"Shit. Kisame, couldn't you have thrown in a different direction!?" He scuttled off her.

The shark man grinned to show all of his pointy teeth. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Arashi grabbed on to Kawauso's scruff before he could run away.

"Hold it, bitch. It's my freaking turn, seriously." Oh god no. Hidan grinned at her.

Arashi took one look at that perverted look on his face and decided that he needed more skydiving lessons. She pushed him off the side of the mountain. There was a crash several seconds later.

"… Uh… I… gotta go… somewhere." Kawauso inched away. Kisame quickly followed him. That left Arashi alone.

"Was that really necessary, hmm?"

Never mind.

Arashi turned to glare at Deidara, "Yes, actually, it was."

He raised a brow, "What, do you have anger issues or something, hmm?" Clenching her fists, she said nothing. "Well we never did finish that fight, hmm."

"So?" she asked. "So I figured we finish it, hmm."

Arashi shrugged, "Well I can't kill Hidan, so I guess I'll go for you instead." Deidara sweatdropped, "I assume the morning didn't go well."

"Oh you have no idea," Arashi crouched on all fours and charged at Deidara. He grinned and sidestepped as she ran past. Arashi already saw this coming. Chakra collected at the top of her head and formed sharp deer antlers. They sliced Deidara's side as she passed him.

Deidara cringed for a second, but a grin was quickly on his face. Arashi looked down. Damn it. Two tiny clay birds flapped into her face and exploded.

Deidara grinned at the puff of smoke that Arashi had disappeared in, "Serves you right, hmm."

And then the smoke cleared. A light blue light with neon green stripes scattered across its body. Electricity leaped off of its neon green mane. Its yellow eyes glared at his single blue one. The Akatsuki bandanna was wrapped around its right leg.

Arashi. Deidara inwardly groaned. His clay birds lay at the lion's feet, deactivated. Arashi snarled, showing gigantic lion fangs. "Oh, man, asshole. I am so gonna freaking kill you."

Deidara quickly began absorb the clay through his palm mouths. Arashi lunged at him. He quickly jumped in the air to avoid the attack. In midair, he shaped the clay into grasshopper like creatures. He was about to toss them when an electric jolt shook his body.

Arashi's neon mane was aglow with electricity, and said electricity was engulfing Deidara. The electricity stopped short, absorbing back into her mane. Deidara fell limply to the ground.

Grinning excitedly, Arashi sparked up her mane and charged at the Iwa nin. She rammed into him before he could hit the ground. It was at this moment she realized what she was doing.

"Shit!" She stopped her electric flow quickly before any more damage could be done. Deidara landed a few feet away on his back. Arashi transformed back to her human form and ran to Deidara's side.

"Oh crap. Are you okay? I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have used that transformation. I … uh tend to get caught up in battle." While she was rambling, Deidara sat up in a sitting position while combing his hair back to its original place. Electricity and Deidara never got along. It messed up his long, silky, and beautiful hair.

"Can you walk?" Arashi asked while crinkling her nose from the burnt smell that lingered in the air. She brushed his arm, and she accidently shocked him with a bigger than average burst of electricity. Deidara winced, "I'm fine, hmm." He stood up to prove his point.

Arashi shook her body free of excess electricity and stood up as well. "Sorry about that." Deidara grunted and held his injured side, "I guess you won then, hmm." Arashi stared at the wounded side, "Here, let me help you with that." She placed a hand in the wound and pumped her fiery chakra, stopping the bleeding and closing up the wound. Arashi pulled her hands away. Deidara nodded his thanks. She pretended the slight blush on his face wasn't there.

A low whistle came from the edge of the cliff. The two Akatsuki turned to see Hidan in all his glory smirking at them. He waved. Arashi pushed him off the cliff…again.

"… Uh… Dinner is… soon…ish, hmm. Well I gotta go!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arashi wasn't in the greatest of moods when she entered her shared room. Kawauso was polishing his battleaxe on the foot of the bed.

He glanced at her, "Uh, hi." Arashi mumbled her greeting and slumped on to the bed. Kawauso wrinkled his nose at the stench of smoke. "Don't tell me. You turned into the lion, didn't you?"

"Mhm."

"And you went all out on?"

"Deidara."

"Right. So is he still alive."

Arashi turned to stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, I stopped just in time…. Ugh. We really need to redecorate."

"Eh. Sasori and Deidara are artists. Go and steal some of their paint or something." Kawauso suggested. Arashi glared at him. "Fine. Borrow it."

"Whatever. Let's just go and get something to eat."

Kawauso set down his battleaxe and followed his partner out the door. They were one of the firsts to make it. Tobi was hyperventilating, and Zetsu was debating whether or not to eat him.

Kisame invited Kawauso to sit next to him. As he scuttled over, Arashi rolled her eyes and sat down. Whatever. She didn't need him. She had Ko-

Konan and Pein arrived and sat next to each other… closer that usually.

-nan… Well, that was fine! She could survive on her own. She didn't need Konan or Kawauso or-

Hidan sat to her left. Okay, maybe she needed Konan just a little.

Deidara sat to her right. Okay, maybe she desperately needed Kawauso too. Arashi dared to peek at Hidan at the corner of her eye. He was smirking at her.

Arashi slammed her head on the table. The other members shot her a glance, noticed who she was sitting with, and smirked to themselves. Deidara raised an eyebrow.

Arashi continued to slam her head on the table until the food had arrived. She reluctantly raised her head that was unscathed.

"Wow, you have a hard head, hmm." Deidara pointed out. Hidan chuckled, "I noticed."

'_Don't punch them, Arashi. '_She thought to herself. It was getting harder to not punch them every passing minute, however. Arashi settled to stuff herself with the ramen that was in front of her.

Arashi lifted the bowl and shoved her face into it, slurping the soup up rapidly. Kawauso, not surprisingly, did the same.

Arashi finished her food before the otter. She scowled at him as he spun the bowl on the tip of his nose and tossed it into the air. Arashi leaped across the table and caught the half full bowl before Kawauso could catch it. Ten seconds later, they were fighting over it.

"I take it you did this every day?" Kakuzu asked.

Arashi and Kawauso paused fighting. "How'd you guess?" They said in unison.

"… Well I'm done." Kisame said.

"Me too, hmm."

"I'm out of here."

The members filed out of the kitchen.

"IT'S CALLED SURVIVAL YOU IDIOTS!" Arashi called after them.

"Yeah, how did you expect us to survive? By sharing?" Kawauso added.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thanks for helping me out there, Kawauso," Arashi said. She and Kawauso were in their room.

Kawauso yawned, "Yeah, no prob. I knew the men here would be all over you."

"You supported it."

"And?"

Arashi grunted as there was a knock on the door. She stood up from the bed and walked over to answer it. It had better not be Hidan or Deidara or she'll-

"Arashi, you have a mission," Pein informed her.

"Mission?" Arashi and Kawauso asked in unison.

"… What. You didn't that you would just sit around her for the rest of your life, right?" The leader asked.

"Actually I did," Arashi answered.

Pein raised a brow at this, "Well, hurry and come to my office, I'll give you the details."

Arashi followed him into the hall, Kawauso tailing behind. Pein stopped him, "Not you, only Arashi."

The otter blinked, "Why, aren't we partners?"

"No, you're not even a real member. Arashi is. You came with the package."

"… Then who is her partner?"

"I've decided to stick her onto a two man team for extra help."

Arashi's eye twitched. She waved to Kawauso and followed Pein to his office.

`_Oh god. Please don't put me on one of their teams._' Arashi silently pleaded to himself.

They entered his office.

And of course, Hidan and Kakuzu were waiting for them.

------------------------

Yeah it sucked. BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE BETTER. Because Arashi's last transformation, my favorite, will be revealed! So don't kill me! ... No really. Please. I like living.


	6. Chapter 6

Arashi stifled a groan as she caught sight of Hidan smiling at her.

"Now that we're all here, can we get our mission now?" Kakuzu asked.

Pein sat in his chair, "Yes, let's make this quick. You're mission is an assassination as well as a robbery. You are to kill this man-"He slid a photo over to Kakuzu. "And steal a scroll he is keeping that contains important data about a shady enemy of ours."

Arashi zoned out while Pein rambled on about the important data. Locations, guards, dangers, you know. She noticed that Hidan wasn't paying attention either. Poor Kakuzu. He has to put up with this guy every mission.

Arashi guessed he was finished when Kakuzu stood up. "Hurry up," the banker ordered, "We leave in ten minutes."

Kawauso yawned and watched Arashi herbs in her medicine pouch. "You could help, you know," the medic growled.

The otter sighed and began to pack up some weapons, "Better hurry up..." He snickered, "'Rashi."

Not him too. She finished packing and attached the pouch to her side, grabbing the weapons. "Don't get yourself killed!" Arashi called as she hurried out the door.

And ran right into Hidan. "You ready, bitch?"

Arashi groaned, "Like I've said, don't touch me."

They exited the base to meet Kakuzu waiting for them. "It's a long walk." He informed them. Arashi grinned and transformed to her phoenix form. Hidan's eyes grew wide.

"I won't torture you, now get on."

Kakuzu leaped onto her wing and sat cross legged on the base of her neck. Hidan hesitated before climbing on as well. Arashi flapped her wings and flew into the air. She could have sworn she saw blonde for a split second.

It was silent except for the wind whistling through the clouds. "The castle we will be infiltrating is located in the Land of Lightning." Kakuzu said. "That's pretty far from here, in case you didn't know, Arashi."

She narrowed her eyes. "Where exactly is this castle?"

"Up in the mountains near a wealthy village. It's quite a ways from Kumogakure," Kakuzu explained.

The phoenix surveyed the horizon. No mountains yet.

"We'll be staying in the village near the castle."

"Aw freaking sweet! Are we going to have a hotel, Kakuzu?" Hidan asked.

"No, hotels are too expensive."

Kakuzu pointed to a nearby forest, and Arashi landed in a clearing in the center. She transformed back to her human form as Hidan and Kakuzu began to set up camp.

"Kakuzu, you cheap asshole," Hidan groaned, "Can't you let us sleep in an f-ing hotel just once?"

The miser ignored him and began to make a fire. "Well, I don't mind." Arashi commented.

"You gotta be freaking kidding me. You don't mind being cramped up in a shitty little tent?" Hidan said.

Arashi climbed into a nearby tree, "No actually, I'm sleeping outside." She rolled her eyes at Hidan's stunned reaction. "The weather's nice. Kawauso and I used to sleep outside all the time, idiot."

Kakuzu started toward the pitched tent, "I'm going to bed."

Hidan, however, stayed. "Okay. I need to ask you a few freaking questions."

Arashi lay on her stomach on a large branch of the tree, "Ask away."

"First off, how the hell can you speak?"

Arashi flopped over to her back so that her arms and head were hanging upside down as she faced the Jashinist. "What? Am I not civilized enough to talk?"

"No. I mean, you were raised in a freaking forest."

Arashi sighed, "I learned by observing people in the village nearby."

"And if you were cut off from humans, how the hell did you learn ninja techniques?"

The medic swung herself off of the branch and landed next to Hidan. "I guess I should explain my whole background then. Okay. I was taken in by some animals while I was born. I learned to understand them, and when I got older, I observed some nearby villagers. The animals knew a few ninja dogs and cats. They taught me a few things and observed that my chakra had medic attributes. I later tried to do jutsus and came up with my whole DNA changer thing. That's when I met Kawauso. The ninja animals sent us off to get privately trained by their masters. I was going to be adopted when… I discovered my future families… Er… Eating habits."

Hidan raised a brow at this. Arashi continued, "And then Kawauso and I traveled place to place. We got stronger as we grew older, and now here I am, stuck with S-rank psychotic criminals. Joy."

"Hey, it's not that f-ing bad," Hidan protested. She glared at him. Her look silenced her.

"Well, I'm going to bed." Arashi declared and climbed up into her tree.

Arashi was very rudely awoken when Hidan pushed her out of the tree. She landed on the ground with a thud.

"Ugh. Why'd you do that?" Arashi demanded.

Hidan didn't answer. "We're going," Kakuzu told her. Wiping drool off of her mouth (ew…); Arashi followed him into the forest. Camp had already been packed up.

They began walking up a stone path that led uphill. Kakuzu had warned Arashi not to make any attention. A giant phoenix tends to cause attention.

A village nestled in between two gigantic mountains appeared. The buildings were all tall, but the castle they were after stood out among everything. It was big enough to challenge the mountains that rested beside it.

"Heavily armed," Kakuzu mumbled. Arashi noticed black shapes lined all around the castle walls. Guards, of course. Arashi grinned to herself, a strategy playing in her mind.

They entered the village. Most people ignored them as they passed, luckily. An occasional sparrow would flutter by and land on Arashi's shoulder before flying off again. A few people raised their eyebrows at this.

"We'll head straight to the castle's boundaries," Kakuzu whispered.

Arashi nodded, and then a smell hit her nostrils. A toothy grin showed up on her face, and in a second she was gone.

Twenty seconds later, there was a crash. Arashi had tipped over a trashcan and was **eating its contents.**

A few villagers stared; others grabbed their children and ran away.

Hidan and Kakuzu glared at her.

"… What? I'm hungry!" The medic protested. Hidan grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

They arrived at the castle wall momentarily and picked a hiding spot behind a large boulder.

"What the hell was that?" Hidan hissed. Arashi sighed, "Don't ask. Please don't ever bring it up either."

"Whatever. We need to get a strategy," Kakuzu said.

"I got one already. One of my transformations fits perfectly with this assignment." Arashi grinned widely. Her smile remained as cream fur replaced her skin and she shrunk in size. She became a weasel with black bands ringing its body and an Akatsuki bandanna tied around her neck.

Hidan snorted, "What's a little shitty weasel supposed to do?"

"Watch, Kakuzu, hand me the picture of the client." The miser slid the photo over. The weasel picked it up in her paws and examined it for a moment.

A smirk plastered her face. "I already know where he's hiding this scroll."

Hidan chuckled, "Oh?"

"Well, look at him. He's chubby, and look at his expression. Obviously, he lives with his mom, making him very insecure. The scroll must be of great value, correct? So he would always want it in his sight, since he is afraid that something will happen to it if he does not see the scroll twenty four seven. Therefore, he hides it in his room. He wants it to be close to him or someone he trusts. It could be in a safe behind a portrait, which is very cliché. Or it could be behind his bed. He always wants it in his sight. Am I clear?"

Kakuzu and Hidan stared.

"I'm a master thief in this form," Arashi explained.

"… Well. I guess we'll do the assassination then," Kakuzu stood up.

"And I'll take care of the scroll part, you can count on me." Arashi beamed.

Ten minutes later, the guards near the castle wall were killed, and the three Akatsuki were headed for the main gate.

The door was effortlessly broken thanks to Kakuzu's strength. Guards immediately rushed to meet them. Arashi, in her tiny weasel form, crouched to the ground and disappeared completely. She had camouflaged with her surroundings.

As the fighting broke out, weasel Arashi scurried between guard legs and through a hallway._ Look for the big room where a spoiled boy would live_, she thought to herself.

Arashi paused and pressed against a wall as several more guards ran past. _I wonder how Hidan and Kakuzu are faring_… Arashi slinked around the castle without making a sound.

At the end of a hallway were two massive white doors with golden handles. No doubt the client's room. She was about to break into it when she passed a room… filled… with… gold!

Piles and piles of it! Jewels! And they were shiny! Arashi shook her head. No! The mission… Mission… Gold… Scrap of paper… Gold…

"… Gold." Arashi said out loud. She pounced into the pile of the expensive stuff. She was swimming in it! Arashi placed the necklaces and bracelets on and stuffed the things she couldn't wear into her Akatsuki bandanna makeshift bag.

"Agh! I need more bags!" Arashi glanced around the room. Her beady eyes caught sight of a large bag already stuffed with gold. Probably about to move it somewhere before they came her. Arashi scurried over and froze.

"Ugh. No wait, I have to steal that stupid scroll." She sighed and slung the Akatsuki bag over her shoulder.

"Better than nothing." Using one hand, Arashi began to climb up the wall and onto the ceiling. She squeezed through a hole and made her way to the client's room.

She found the fat boy asleep on his bed. Her eye twitched. They were breaking into a castle to kill him, and he was here… asleep! Swearing under her breath, Arashi climbed from the ceiling back down to the floor.

Camouflaging instantly, the weasel made her way over to the bed. She glanced at the portrait facing across from the bed and smirked. Portrait of his mother? What a loser. She climbed up that wall and removed the portrait, setting it on the ground without a sound.

She knocked on the wall and pressed her ear against it. Hollow. Unsheathing her weasel claws, Arashi lashed the wallpaper of the room apart. There was the scroll, of course. Could she have been wrong?

She grabbed the scroll and landed on the floor. She placed her bag filled with treasures in her mouth and tied the scroll's string around her neck. Arashi stared at the client, who was snoring loudly. _I should probably lead him out of her so we can kill him._

Arashi jumped onto the bed and stared at the man. She'd always wanted to do this. Rubbing her paws together, Arashi bounced on the man's freaking huge stomach. She sunk into the fat, but he awoke instantly.

"RAT!" He yelled.

"I'M A WEASEL YOU IDIOT!" Arashi yelled back through the Akatsuki bag's fabrics.

The client caught site of the scroll, "You talk? AND GIVE ME BACK THAT SCROLL."

"You'll have to chase me for it," Arashi wagged her tail at him and dashed off the bed and outside the room.

She scurried down the hall, hauling the bag of treasures in her mouth. Arashi glanced back, and sure enough the client was after her.

The stench of blood hit her weasel nostrils. The battle was just ahead. Grinning, Arashi sped up and made her way up the wall of the main room of the castle.

"The prince!" Someone cried.

"What is he doing here?"

The prince was out of breath. "The weasel! It has… the scroll."

Arashi cursed. The battlefield was littered with bodies. And limbs. … And blood, tons and tons of blood. She caught site of Hidan and Kakuzu, Kakuzu releasing his threads to attack the client. Hidan was clutching his scythe.

"A weasel? What weasel?" A guard asked. Seconds later his head was swiped clean off.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. The threads were unleashed in an instant, the prince dead.

Hidan sighed, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth, "Where the hell's Arashi?"

"I'm right here!" The weasel dislodged herself from the ceiling and landed on her paws to face the Akatsuki members.

"Good, now let's m- What's in the bag?" Kakuzu questioned. Arashi forced a smile, "It's nothing, let's get moving."

Kakuzu shrugged and started walking, Hidan following. Arashi changed back to her old form and-

… Arashi stared at her weasel body. _Oh god. Let's try this again._ She shut her eyes and concentrated. Breathing a sigh of relief, Arashi stood on her hind paws and…

Hind paws. "DAMN IT!" Hidan stopped and turned towards her, "Aren't you done with that shitty form?"

"HELL YES I AM." Arashi groaned, "But I'm stuck."

Hidan crouched down to look her in the eye. "Stuck?"

"Transformation lock. Sometimes, I get stuck in a form for a while," mumbled Arashi.

Before Hidan could get another word in, the floor lit up. They recognized at once that they were standing on a gigantic bomb seal.

The next second, the entire castle exploded. Dust clouded Arashi's vision as she dodged falling particles. Too late, however, one hit her on the head. Hard. In her tiny weasel form, she fell to the ground and passed out.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. I freaking heard it. It talks!"

"No way."

"Yeah! Look, it's awake."

Arashi groaned and opened her eyes. The room spun, but she recognized bars instantly. She glanced at herself. Still a weasel.

"Hey, little fellow. Wanna say something?" A man said. He leaned forward and peered into her cage. His breath stank of alcohol, and he had a fuzzy goatee.

"… Yuh." Arashi slurred, "You guyses sssuck."

He raised a brow. Another man gasped. "No way!"

"I know, right!"

"We could get paid millions!"

"Wait… Wut're gonna do wi' me?" Arashi mumbled.

"We're going to put you in show business!" The two men said together.

Arashi groaned. She was not going to like this.

Arashi blinked her eyes open. Her mind felt clear at last. She stood up, realizing quickly that she was still a weasel. Her treasure was gone as well. Arashi peered outside of her cage. It was still light out, but the sun was beginning to crawl lower in the sky.

Someone prodded her. "What now?" Arashi hissed. Goatee, at least that's what she will call him, smiled at her.

"Okay, time for your show."

Another man, this one with orange hair pulled in a ponytail, removed her from the cage and stuffed her in a bag.

"Hey! This is animal abuse!" Arashi protested.

"Okay, when I give the signal, I want you to make a big entrance."

Arashi sighed and curled into a ball. Show business. Never saw that one coming.

Arashi felt herself being set down on something.

"Ladies and gentleman!" Goatee announced, "I present you…THIS!"

Arashi quickly camouflaged as soon as the bag was emptied. The crowd remained silent. Arashi held back a snicker at the look at Ponytail and Goatee's faces. Now to make her escape-

WAIT! Her eyes caught something shiny. Oh my god. These guys were RICH! And full of money, too.

If she could get her paws on it, it was worth it. She changed her colors so that she became a pink weasel that seemed to randomly appear in front of the crowd.

The crowd gasped, and then burst into applause. Arashi bowed, "Thank you!"

They broke out in cheers. She caught site of a few digging their pockets for… what else? Money! Disappearing, she snatched coins and set them in a hole in the ground.

Arashi reappeared and smirked at a few confused faces. Oh, this is so worth it. Forget about escaping. She had found a bunch of suckers to steal from.

…

But what about "home"?


	7. Chapter 7

"YOU WHAT? (hmm?)" The entire base yelled.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO F-ING TELL YOU?!" Hidan yelled.

"We lost Arashi in the explosion, "Kakuzu explained again.

"And you didn't _look_ for her?" Kawauso demanded.

"Well, damn otter. My limbs were f-ing all over the place. The stitched dumbass had to put me back together." Hidan snapped.

"We found her bandanna, but that's it… And it's full of gold." Kakuzu examined as he emptied the contents.

"Gah! We have to go after her!" Kawauso said.

"Who freaking cares?" Hidan growled, though he regretted the whole incident. He tried not to show it.

"Arashi is… or was a vital part of out team. She is Akatsuki's medic. I agree with Kawauso, we should at least look for her body," Pein stated.

"But how the hell do we know she's still f-ing alive?" Hidan asked.

"Well duh, she was a weasel when you last saw her," pointed out Kawauso. The other members stared questionably. The otter sighed, "Her weasel form's not only a thief, but an escape artist with incredible evasiveness techniques. Her small size would make it easy to squeeze through rock piles or dodge falling rocks and escape. So she is most likely alive. I volunteer to go look for her."

He grabbed his battleaxe what sat on the floor beside him. He set it on his back and began walking out of the base. No one stopped him.

He was grumbling to himself when he walked outside. The sun was setting in the distance. Caught up in his thoughts, he ran right into Deidara.

"Thought you would need a ride, hmm," the artist explained and motioned toward the bird who was awaiting take-off.

Kawauso flashed the sculptor a smirk.

"Are we almost there, Deidara?" Kawauso called over the roar of the wind whipping past them.

"I see mountains, hmm. Yeah, we're getting close!" Deidara replied. Moments later, the bird landed and disappeared with a puff of smoke. Deidara landed on his feet while Kawauso flopped onto his back.

"… You're pretty clumsy, hmm." Deidara commented.

"I'm built for water… HMM!" Kawauso retorted while mocking Deidara's speech. Deidara narrowed his eyes.

"Come on. It's getting late." They entered the village gates in silence. Stars lit up the black night sky as the two wandered. The village was everything but quiet. There were ninja everywhere, all investigating the exploded castle.

"Don't attract attention, hmm," Deidara hissed to Kawauso. They approached the scene of the crime.

"You two! Stay back!" A ninja called.

"Hey, what happened here?" asked Kawauso.

"You don't know?" The ninja said.

"We were just stopping by, hmm." Deidara told him.

"A robbery and a murder. Survivors say two guys snuck in and caused this. Then the castle blew up and we never found the culprits. We're still looking."

Deidara nodded, "We'll leave you alone, hmm." While they left, Kawauso sighed with relief, "At least we know where not to look. She's definitely alive out there, some…" He paused. "…where."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "What?" Kawauso gestured towards a brightly colored sign.

'The Amazing Super Weasel' and underneath it 'This way! -'

"Arashi has a weasel form, doesn't she?" Deidara asked.

"Yep." The otter replied.

"Shit." The said together.

---

Arashi spun the tiny rice ball on the tip of her nose. She flung it into the air and snapped the food up. The weasel bowed to the applauding crowd.

More and more people were showing up. More money for Goatee, but even more for her. She snickered to herself as she prepared to perform her last act of the night.

Reality hit her. She'd have to leave after this. No more suckers lining up begging for performances and leaving with half of their money. She sighed as Goatee and his partner began to set up rings.

Oh joy, what was she going to do now? Arashi yawned. All the tricks that she had performed were simple. People just thought that animals were too "stupid" to do anything other than eat and crap.

She sniggered as she thought of how stupid people could be at times.

Like throwing out stale food.

What a waste.

"Okay, folks. This is the weasel's final performance of the night!" Goatee announced. Arashi guessed that she was going to have to jump through the rings or something. She sat a few feet away from the first one.

Goatee smiled down at her.

And lit the ring on fire.

The crowd grew hush as he lit the other ones. The rings where big enough for a cat to squeeze through. Squeeze. With trouble. In other words, Arashi could become a living fireball if she dared try to leap through the ring of fire.

FREAKING AWESOME.

Arashi dashed forward and leaped through the first one. The flames tickled her underbelly, but didn't singe her. The crowd burst into cheers after she cleared the first one.

The next was cleared without injury. Soon she had leaped through all of them. The crowd clapped ferociously.

Until Arashi realized her tail was on fire.

The crowd stopped clapping at once.

"EUUGH! HOTHOTHOTHOT!" Arashi screeched and ran around in circles. The tail-fire expanded.

Hm. Now she could make an escape.

Arashi raced into the crowd without bumping into anyone. Guess they're afraid of being burnt.

She winced as the smell of burnt fur reached her nostrils. This may be bad. She should probably put it out now.

Arashi heard a shout. She swiveled her head around to see Goatee and Ponytail running after her. Oh hell no.

She quickened her pace, forgetting about her tail engulfed in flames. The voices died away, she assumed she lost them.

Pain erupted from her tail. She skidded to a stop and realized that it was pure fire. Oh right.

As she turned to look away from the fire, she felt water engulf her tail and put the fire out. The sudden coolness shocked her so much that she jumped forward into someone's arms.

It also shocked her enough that her transformation lock wore off in mid air, and she had tumbled into that someone's arms in her human form.

"… Well that was easy, hmm."

Arashi groaned, too tired to pull away from Deidara's grip.

"You're welcome," Kawauso called.

"Nng." was Arashi's reply.

"… Uh. Does anyone want to get something to eat, hmm?" Deidara asked to break the awkward silence.

"ME!" Kawauso and Arashi said at once, Arashi pulling away from Deidara. "Quick, Kawauso," Arashi ordered, "Find the nearest ramen shop!"

"I think I saw one on the way here. Hurry!" The otter turned and ran down the street. Arashi grabbed Deidara's arm and pulled him along.

When they had wandered out of site, "Goatee" and "Ponytail" peeked from behind a mossy rock.

"Is that her, Tenshinhige?" "Ponytail" asked.

"Yeah, Sagegami, that's her."

They formed a hand sign. In a puff of smoke, there were two different men behind the rock.

Goatee, or Tenshinhige, had grown light green hair in a spiked style complete with a matching goatee. Ponytail, or Sagegami, now had black hair pulled in a long ponytail that touched his shoulders. Each had Kumogakure headbands… with a slash through it.

"You were right about the weasel after all," Sagegami whispered.

"Have I ever been wrong? Sagegami, soon Arashi Fenikkusu's powers will be in our lord's grasp."

The two men broke out in quiet laughter.

(NOTE: Arashi was right about their names. Tenshinhige means goatee in Japanese and Sagegami means ponytail! … If you were wondering, Arashi means storm and Kawauso means otter.)

---

Arashi buried her face in her ramen bowl and slurped up the contents. "Oh man," she gasped, "I'd forgotten how hungry I've been."

Kawauso licked the sides of his bowl and asked for another. Deidara sighed as the waitress set down another bowl.

"… Could we possibly get moving, hmm?" Deidara groaned.

"Sure, sure. After this bowl." Kawauso promised.

Sure enough, they were soon out of the ramen stand. Full and in Deidara's case- broke.

"Hey, thanks, Dei-chan for the dinner." Kawauso chirped as they walked to exit the village.

"Hmm." Deidara snorted at the nickname. Arashi raised an eyebrow as they exited the village.

"Oh, hey. Did Hidan and Kakuzu make it out?" Arashi asked the artist.

He nodded, "Yeah. They have the scroll, don't worry, hmm."

Arashi stared at him. "… What, hmm?" Her eye twitched slightly, "Why do you keep saying 'hmm'?"

"That's what I wanna know!" Kawauso put in.

He stared back at her, "Habit." Arashi rolled her eyes and walked in silence.

Deidara broke it, "Hey… Arashi."

Before she could answer, a large hand composed of mist erupted from the ground and nearly smashed them.

"The hell?" Kawauso gasped, gripping his battleaxe in both paws. Deidara's palm-mouths began chewing clay.

A laugh, two actually, rang through the forest. Arashi recognized the voices instantly. She groaned.

Tenshinhige and Sagegami floated on top of a cloud. "You know these guys?" Deidara hissed.

Arashi nodded, "Thought I'd lost them. They're the ones who captured me when I was a weasel."

Deidara felt a prick on his neck. He blinked, but immediately refocused on the battle that was about to begin.

"Kawauso!" Arashi called. "I know I'm on it." Arashi grinned, "Okay, Deidara stand back. We got this covered."

The sculptor nodded and took a few steps backwards. He watched as Arashi's legs and neck grew and her skin turn translucent. She transformed to the glass giraffe. The giraffe glanced at the ninja and shivered.

"Don't chicken out on me yet!" Kawauso called. He set down his battleaxe, and water began to leak from his fur.

Suddenly, the liquid exploded, and Kawauso's body was now completely composed of water. His body was also dragon-like, giving him the appearance of, well, an otter dragon. He smirked at Arashi.

"R-right!" Arashi closed her blue eyes. From her glass body, mirrors formed and began to float around her.

"Ready!" Arashi called with a little more confidence.

Tenshinhige and Sagegami didn't waste time. A few hand signs and the cloud they were standing on turned into tiny balls. The balls lit up with electricity and hurled towards Kawauso.

"Arashi!" The otter dragon called.

"I know!"

The mirrors whipped forward in a straight line, battering the mist balls backwards. They exploded on contact. The duo smirked.

"Not too shabby," Tenshinhige complimented.

The mirrors lashed out and tossed him to the ground. The goatee ninja landed on his feet, skidding backwards. Kawauso appeared behind him. He transformed a massive liquid paw to ice and slashed Tenshinhige across the face. Kawauso froze his other paw and pinned the rouge ninja to the ground.

Tenshinhige squirmed, but with no avail. "Sagegami!"

Said ninja appeared behind Arashi. He drew a sword from his belt. It sparked with electricity. Sagegami held it above his head and charged.

The mirrors whipped forward just in time to block the sword. The electricity from the sword was enough to break the blocking mirror.

Glass shards littered the ground as each mirror exploded, until none remained. Shaking, Arashi in her timid giraffe state stared at the swordsmen.

He grinned, "Die."

Sagegami through the sword into the air. The electricity from it engulfed it until it was completely composed of it. Sagegami created a hand sign, and multiple electric swords appeared. They flung themselves towards Arashi.

Suddenly, mirrors appeared and formed a circle around the swords. They bounced of the mirrors until they all crashed in the center of the mirror circle. Their energy began to gather. Arashi controlled the mirrors so that the tossed the growing ball of electricity at Sagegami.

He smirked and leaped out of the way. He landed next to Tenshinhige, watching as the ball harmlessly moved by.

Kawauso released his grip on Tenshinhige just as a mirror reflected the ball and sent it towards the ninja. The transformed otter ran to Arashi's side as the electric ball exploded. The duo changed back to their original forms and covered their faces.

When the smoke cleared, Arashi trotted over to stare into the small crater was formed. No bodies, only a note. Kawauso picked up the scrap of paper and read it out loud:

"We'll be back." The three simple words were enough to make Arashi shiver. "We'll, they're gone now. Let's go."

She and Kawauso jumped out of the crater and towards Deidara. "No bodies, hmm?" He asked them. Arashi closed her eyes and nodded, "Let's get out of here and take a break for the night."

The other two agreed and began walking away from the battle scene. A light drizzle started. Arashi snarled to herself and quickened her pace. Kawauso, however, decided to skip through the rainfall. Stupid otter.

Deidara stopped suddenly and groaned while clutching his head. Arashi stopped and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

The artist shook his head, "Nothing, hmm, just tired." Arashi wasn't convinced.

"Kawauso, go on and search for a shelter. Come back for us, we'll be right here," she ordered. The otter glanced at both of them, smirked, and dashed off.

Arashi glared at him as he left and moved Deidara out of the rain and underneath a tree. He grunted and sat down, Arashi kneeling beside him.

"What's wrong?" The medic asked again.

"Nothing, just a headache, hmm." Arashi sighed and rolled her eyes, "A headache is something," she mumbled as she untied his headband. She reached to touch his forehead. Deidara blushed and pulled back. "Hold still," Arashi hissed. She placed her hand on his forehead. "You're burning up," Arashi noted.

Deidara pulled away from her and turned around. The medic saw something flicker on his neck. She leaned closer and touched it. "Ow." Deidara grunted. It was a needle. She gently removed it from his skin. "OW!" Deidara whirled around to glare at her. "Arashi, hmm. What… did… you do? … ow…hmm." Deidara's voice faltered and he grabbed his head, holding it.

Arashi glanced at him, then the needle. "Poison." She confirmed. At once, she changed to her snake formed and picked the needle up between his teeth. One of her tongues flicked the point of it, tasting the poison.

"Shoot. This is a fast working one. Starts out slow, picks up speed, then you're dead." She cackled. Deidara groaned louder. The snake hissed and curled her body around Deidara's torso.

"Now Deidara, this is only going to hurt… a lot." She opened her jaw and sunk her fangs into Deidara's neck. He moaned in pain. Arashi sighed and proceeded to suck the poison from Deidara's system. The sculptor moaned louder.

The serpent hissed at him to shut up, "The poison is almost out…sadly." She snickered to herself. Finally, she tasted no more poison in his bloodstream and released Deidara.

She lay on top of him as she transformed back to her human state. "Arashi…" Deidara moaned. The shinobi rolled her eyes, "Oh please, it wasn't that bad."

Kawauso appeared. He had heard moaning, Arashi's name, and now Arashi was on top of Deidara. He stared.

"… I uh… found you a cave." The otter murmured. Arashi traced Kawauso's thoughts, blushed, and jumped off of Deidara.

"Let's go, I'm exhausted." She ordered. Deidara groaned and struggled to his feet. "Kawauso, lead the way. And by the way, Deidara was poisoned, and I was removing it. Don't even _think_ about going there."

The otter snickered and led them to a cave. Deidara followed far behind, hoping not to get on Arashi's nerves.

The cave already had a fire going, and was dry from the rain. Arashi yawned, pulling off her soaked Akatsuki cloak and laying it by the fire. She curled up on the fabric and shut her eyes.

The last thing she heard was Kawauso congratulating Deidara, but she was too tired to kill him.

---

Arashi awoke in an awkward position. Her face rested on Deidara's chest, and his arms were wrapped around her.

She pulled away from him immediately, her sudden movement awakening the artist. He opened the eyes, realized the position, and yanked himself away to wake up Kawauso.

Arashi shivered and noted that light was filtering from the cave entrance. She watched Kawauso groggily stand up. The next second, a clay bird appeared in front of her. Deidara climbed aboard it.

"Well, are you coming, hmm?" He inquired. Arashi sneered, "I can fly myself."

"Eh. I wouldn't push it," Kawauso warned, "A giant phoenix is a lot flashier than a clay bird."

He was right, so Arashi climbed on top of the bird. Moments later they gained altitude and where soaring through the clouds.

Kawauso immediately fell asleep. Deidara stared at him.

"He's tired," Arashi explained.

Deidara nodded and fell silent for a while. The wind whistled as they glided by.

"… Arashi, hmm…" Deidara grumbled. She shifted her attention from the sky to the artist. "What?"

"… What do you… think of me, hmm?"

His questioned left her silent.

Finally: "Dunno."

"A little more specific please, hmm."

"… Fine. You're better than Hidan. Is that good enough for you?"

"What? Really, hmm?" Deidara turned around, "You really mean it, hmm?"

Arashi stared at him, "… Uh… why?"

Deidara blushed and focused back on flying. Arashi sighed, "Okay fine. You're kinda cute. A little."

Deidara didn't meet her gaze, "Whatever, hmm."

Arashi wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, "Fine. Maybe you're really cute."

Still no answer.

The medical ninja shot a glance at Kawauso. He was still sleeping. "Well then, in that case…" Arashi turned Deidara around so that he was facing her. She leaned in closer and gently kissed his lips.

Deidara pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. Arashi moved her arms around the artist's neck. Finally, they broke apart.

"That good enough?" Arashi asked. Deidara beamed and pulled her onto his lap, "No, hmm." Arashi chuckled and rested her head on his chest.

Kawauso awoke about an hour later, saw Deidara and Arashi snuggling, decided he was dreaming, and fell back asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you sure you're not worried about Arashi missing in action?" Kakuzu asked.

"HELL YES. I'm f-cking sure, Kakuzu! Ow!" Hidan groaned and pulled the stake out of his chest.

"You've been doing that for an hour," Kakuzu pointed out.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" the Jashinist commanded. He stabbed himself again, and more blood leaked from his wound. The Akatsuki partners were in Kakuzu's room, where Hidan was… well duh, impaling himself with multiple sharp objects. Kakuzu didn't seem to mind all the blood on the floor. He was used to it.

Just then, Konan slammed the door open, "Guys, Arashi's… uh…" She stared at the bloody Hidan. "…Never mind."

Hidan tackled her to the ground, "Arashi's what!?" He demanded, "TELL ME." Konan pushed him off of her, "She's back. And you got blood all over me."

But Hidan was already gone and out the door. Kakuzu set down his money and reluctantly followed his partner.

Hidan burst through the doors of base. He shoved down the small crowd of Akatsuki that blocked his path.

"Ow! Tobi's a good b-"Hidan stepped on the masked ninja's face, shutting him up. As he made his way in front of the crowd, Hidan started to speak, "Arashi-"Hidan stopped mid sentence.

Deidara grabbed Arashi's hand and lifted her off the clay bird. As the bird disappeared in a puff of smoke, the two Akatsuki leaned in for a kiss.

The group fell silent, but no one was as awestruck as Hidan. A few whistles broke the silence. Hidan growled and pushed the nearest person, sadly Tobi, to the ground. "Oh, hell no," the masochist chuckled.

Arashi broke away from Deidara to steal a glance at Hidan. A wide smirk molded into her face. She let go of her grip on the artist and moved away. Deidara shot a glare at Hidan.

Second later, the two were on the ground throwing punches.

"Crap! Someone stop them!" Konan cried, "Arashi you got to-"

"YES! I love these things!" Arashi cheered. Kawauso, who was sitting next to her, seemed to be enjoying herself.

Konan sighed, "I'm out of here."

Zetsu stared a moment longer. "Yeah **us too.**"

"Tobi will go with Zetsu-san because Tobi is a good boy!"

The rest quickly left the scene.

"Go boys, g-… Oh, shit. That's gotta…Um… Kawauso?" Arashi nervously looked for her otter partner. He had left the scene. Meanwhile, both men were bleeding… excessively.

"… You can stop now… Ouch… Okay, seriously. Stop. I mean it." She stared at them for a moment longer. "Ugh, fine." Fiery chakra sprouted from her fists as she ran to break the two of them up.

---

"Ow…" Deidara groaned slightly. "I think I broke something, hmm…"

Arashi ground her teeth, "Yeah, you did break something! Why else would I be wrapping bandages around your head?"

Deidara grunted and held still. They were in the infirmary, Arashi wrapping bandages around Deidara's bloodied head. "My first customers in the infirmary," Arashi murmured. She paused to glance at Hidan, who was still unconscious. She hadn't thought about healing him, being immortal and all. He still lay beaten up on the white sheets. Aw man, it's an infirmary! Don't buy white sheets! "My first and definitely not my last."

"HELL YES." Hidan yelled and shot up. He immediately regretted this, clutched his wounded side and flopped back on the bed.

Arashi groaned and quickly finished fixing Deidara's other wounds. She kissed him on the cheek before walking _very_ slowly over to patch Hidan up.

"'Bout time you got here." Hidan murmured. "Don't push it." Arashi hissed. She felt a twinge of guilt as she checked his injuries. She had to beat them up in order to separate them, but she'd hit Hidan the hardest.

"Are you still mad at me for leaving you?" Hidan whispered. She narrowed her eyes as she started to heal his side. "What do you think?"

"No?"

"Yes."

He fell silent and shut his eyes, "Okay, look. I'm sorry." She remained silent. Suddenly, she stopped her chakra flow.

"Oh god. I think you've hit your head too hard," the medic stated.

Hidan raised an eyebrow, "Why, what's-"Arashi clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Hidan. You spoke for about an entire minute without swearing. And now you're _apologizing_?"

The Jashinist beamed, "Well, yeah. Love makes you do weird th-"

Arashi delivered a punch to his skull and knocked him unconscious. He dragged him off the bed. Deidara opened his eyes and stared at her inquisitively.

"Throwing him outside," the shinobi explained quickly. The sculptor nodded and shut his eyes. Probably saw this coming.

Arashi swung the door open and threw the unconscious criminal into the hallway.

"Zetsu-san! Where are you! Tobi is looking for you!"

"**Thank god we got rid of that kid,**" Zetsu said to himself as he walked passed Hidan. "Look, food!"

"ZETSU!" Arashi yelled from inside the infirmary.

"**Curses!** One of these days…"

---

"So, you were captured by two guys."

"Yep."

"And they made you perform for money."

"Mhm."

"And later, you recognized them when they transformed to ninja?"

"I knew their faces."

"Did they say their names?"

"… Uh. No."

Pein sighed, "Great. A description at least?"

Arashi described them and their alternate "innocent citizen" forms as best as she could. Deidara was leaning on the chair behind her, Kawauso on her lap.

Pein nodded, "Very well, you may leave… Now then…" He picked up a puzzle, "Where was I?"

Arashi sighed to herself as they left Leader's room. She had to walk slowly to keep up with Deidara's limping pace.

"Come on, you need some rest."

Deidara leaned against her and didn't protest. "I'm so tired, hmm…"

Arashi smiled and opened the door to his room. "I'll bring you something to eat later, okay?" She said as she laid him in his bed.

Deidara nodded and she kissed his bandaged forehead and exited the room. She found the last person she wanted to see in the hallway.

"Ugh, Hidan, what do you want now?" She hissed. Hidan grinned and leaned against the wall, "You know what I want, bitch."

At least he was swearing again. "Go away." His cuts had stopped bleeding, but they still made him look…. Well, bloody.

"Aw shit, seriously, come on."

"Hidan, go away." Arashi was getting irritated.

"How about a f-cking kiss?"

"No."

"On the forehead?"

"No."

"Cheek?"

"NO."

"… Lips?"

"HELL NO."

"Just a f-cking quick one?"

"… Hidan, close you eyes."

Hidan smirked and obeyed, leaning in closer.

And Arashi kicked him in the … you get the point.

Hidan gasped and flopped to the ground. Arashi walked over him, "I'm going to my room."

Hidan couldn't speak, too busy trying to breathe. Zetsu walked past again and stared at the criminal.

A rock hit him in the head. The plant man thought twice and continued on his way.

---

"Perfect. Just perfect." Kawauso mumbled as he flopped on the bed.

Arashi took out her hair, "They just had to show up, didn't they?"

"SG and TSH? Those brats…"

Arashi combed her fingers through her flowing hair, "Kawauso, that's not their names."

"Yeah, but their names are too long. Tenshinhige and Sagegami? Uck. So I shortened them to TSH and SG. Speaking of which, now you also put that blonde guy in trouble. They'll probably take him hostage and expect you to come rushing to his or her rescue."

Arashi tied her hair back into the normal ponytail, "Maybe they'll go for Hidan instead."

Kawauso glared at his partner, "Hey, give the guy a chance."

"Oh, please. He'll probably rape me if I even go that close to him… Kawauso. What about the… you know."

The otter rolled his eyes, "Oh come on Arashi, it's no big deal… Uh. Do you hear moaning?"

They fell silent. Sure enough, there was a moaning noise coming from outside. Tobi knocked open the door.

"Could Arashi-chan come see Hidan-san? Tobi thinks he's dead."

Too bad she knew better. Arashi sighed and followed the masked ninja out the door. A small group had formed around Hidan, most prodding him. He moaned louder.

"Oh good, Arashi's here," Konan said.

"What did you do?" Kisame asked.

"Oh you know, kicked him in the nuts."

The guys decided to leave at that point. Konan flashed a smirk at her, "I guess you're handling this well. But we really need to help him or Pein'll get mad."

Arashi stared at her. "No, I mean carry him to his room," Konan clarified. Arashi sighed with relief, "Fine." She grabbed his arms and Konan grabbed Hidan's legs. The two women carried the masochist to his room and threw him on the bed. Konan left immediately, but before Arashi could get herself out the door, Hidan spoke up.

"What the hell was that?"

Arashi scowled, "I see you can talk. You were bothering me so I-"

"No, dumbass. Your shoulder."

Arashi blinked and covered her right shoulder with her left hand, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now goodbye."

She dashed out the door and slammed it, her shoulder still covered. Hidan smirked and reached for his Jashin pendant. It glowed momentarily and a voice filled his head.

"Jashin-san. I found one."

---

"Oh god, this can't get any worse." Arashi snarled, "Why can't he be mortal?! First Orochimaru, then Sagegami and Tenshinhige and now him!"

Kawauso yawned, "Arashi, calm down. I'm sure he has no idea what it is."

"Oh yes he did! You should have seen him! Augh! I hate that guy." She sat down, cradling her head in her hands.

"No you don't." Arashi glared at Kawauso, "You know it only acts up when you-"He ducked to avoid a kunai tossed at him.

"SHUT UP."

"The tattoo only shines when you experience three strong emotions. Anger…" Kawauso began.

"KAWAUSO."

"Fear…"

"I'M WARNING YOU."

"AND LOVE!" Kawauso shouted.

Arashi pounced and proceeded to maul him. While she leaped into the air, her cloak slid off of her shoulder to reveal a wing tattoo the size of her palm. It glowed silver bright enough to illuminate the entire room.

Arashi snarled and fixed her cloak. "… You're really mad at me, aren't you?" Kawauso asked.

"Hell yes." Arashi punched him unconscious.


	9. Chapter 9

Arashi and Kawauso were about to walk back to their rooms after dinner when Deidara stopped them. He had a worried glint in his eyes as he told them to go to the living room. Kawauso and Arashi exchanged worried glances as they followed the sculptor to the living room. Kawauso brushed his battleaxe protectively as the neared the room.

The entire Akatsuki watched them as they arrived. Arashi caught Hidan's eye and glared at him. No doubt this was his fault. Deidara leaned against a wall, avoiding Arashi's eye as Leader stood up.

"Arashi. We know."

'_Shit!_' Arashi thought-hissed. She glanced worriedly at all the members.

"How?" Kawauso spoke for her.

One word. One word and Arashi had it; "Hidan."

No one could stop Arashi from mauling him, or maybe they didn't want to. Either way, Arashi was tearing him apart in a second.

"… Should we stop her?" Konan asked.

"Nah." Kisame answered without taking his eyes off of the fight. Kawauso, however, ripped his raving mad partner off of Hidan, who smirked up at her.

"Thanks."

"THANKS FOR WHAT YOU-"Arashi stopped herself.

Hidan grinned and stood up, "I love pain."

'_Great._' Arashi thought.

"Well, now that that's over… Arashi?" Kakuzu urged.

Arashi glared at Hidan one last time, "Okay, okay. You got me. I'm from the Fenikkusu Clan."

"The what?" Tobi asked.

Arashi raised an eyebrow, "I thought Hidan…"

"Well most of the stories are legends," Itachi pointed out.

"Right, right. Okay, the Fenikkusu Clan existed long before humanity had discovered chakra. Before that, we had believed in "The Will of Fire". You know Konoha's belief and crap. We were believed to contain it because of our intense determination. But anyway, we supposedly died out a long time ago. But exactly one thousand years after the last one of us died, my brother and I-"

"YOU HAVE A BROTHER?" The entire Akatsuki shouted.

"Well, duh." Arashi retorted, "His name's Iji. He wanders like I used to. Moving on. Each of us was born with a single transformation- an animal. Mine is the Phoenix and Iji's the Kangaroo. We were also told to have a single animal partner. Before we discovered some of our abilities, our animal partners were just regular animals. But later, we were able to alter their DNA. This was the time that some of Fenikkusu decided to give us more transformations. My brother gave himself two more while I gave myself four."

"Well it turns out that the Fenikkusu went into hiding instead of dying. They took refuge as nature spirits and then later made Iji and I. The Fenikkusu Clan's generally tight with the animals and stuff. There might be some of us still out there. Some people know of the Fenikkusu's existence. They plot to use our power to their own will." Arashi paused to shiver, "That's why Kawauso and I have always been on the run."

"Do you know anyone specifically that's after you?" Pein questioned.

"Yeah. That creep Orochimaru and…" Kawauso faltered.

"Lord Tanran of the Yokushin," Arashi finished, "A clan that also existed alongside the Fenikkusu thousands of years ago. Those guys are power hungry for _everything._ And it's partially the reason why we died out. The Yokushin wanted our strength for their own. Lord Tanran is the ruler of them now, people more about them than the Fenikkusu. Sagegami and Tenshinhige, the people who attacked me, are his generals."

"What ever happened to Iji, hmm?" It was the first time Deidara had spoken the entire time.

"I left him behind after I fled the village that tried to take me in. I still keep in touch with him and his partner Kashira." Kawauso made a face when Arashi said Kashira. She shot him a glare.

"And?" Hidan pressed. Arashi rolled her eyes. This was the last thing she wanted the others to know. The Fenikkusu sighed, "The Fenikkusu was allies to Jashinist for their violent natures." Arashi grumbled, barely audible. Hidan flashed her a grin. The Akatsuki fell silent.

"Anything else you wanna get out of us?" Kawauso mumbled.

"I think we've just discovered a way to kill Orochimaru," Pein announced. The Akatsuki immediately turned to their leader, interested for the first time. Arashi sneered. '_Oh god, not that creep again.'_

"Orochimaru was after Arashi, obviously interested in her power. Therefore, we use her to lure him out and murder him. I'll assign a team right away. Arashi, Kawauso, you two are obviously going." Pein said, "Now, who else should go… Well Kakuzu and Sasori have solo missions so-"

"HELL. NO." Arashi, Deidara, and Hidan growled in unison. Kawauso, however, appeared to be excited to watch another fight broke out.

"You three need to fix this problem so I figured that-"

"Listen, Leader. If you think that I am going to spend more that three seconds with _him." _Arashi gestured to Hidan, "You're completely insane."

"I am not staying within twenty feet of that dumbass," Hidan protested.

"Neither am I, hmm!" Deidara glared at Hidan.

Kawauso belched. Arashi punched him. Pein sighed, "Just be ready within two hours. We need Orochimaru dead as soon as possible."

---

Arashi sulkily packed away her weapons alongside Kawauso.

"Geez, you should at least lighten up. We get to go out again, right?"

"Nng." Arashi replied. Kawauso sighed, "Look, you could at least fix one problem. Go talk to Hidan."

"… No."

"Arashi…"

"Fine!" Arashi walked out of the room and slammed the door. She stomped down the hallway, grumbling to herself into she stopped in front of Hidan's door. '_I can't believe I'm doing this…_' She thought to herself as she knocked. Arashi leaned against the door as she waited. At that moment, the door flung open.

Arashi stumbled and fell, but Hidan caught her effortlessly. She scowled at him, but he merely smirked and shut the door. "So…" He began.

"Look, moron. I will not, I repeat, **not.** Ever in all eternity be your girlfriend." Arashi hissed.

Hidan sat on his bed, "And why the hell's that?"

Arashi glared at him, "Because you're an asshole, I despise your existence, I wish I could kill you, and I'm already with Deidara."

Hidan glanced at her shoulder. Arashi caught his glance and clamped a hand over it. He flashed her a grin. "I f-cking saw it." Arashi gritted her teeth.

"I know you're f-cking lying about the first three, you dig me, bitch, I know. We're practically partners in crime now because of my religion. But hey, can't you have two f-cking boyfriends, seriously?"

"Only if you're a whore." Arashi mumbled. Hidan grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the bed so that she sat next to me. She glared at him, but her draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. Beneath her clothing, the tattoo glowed with a pinkish tint. "… Does it glow that much when you're with that dumbass Deidara?"

Arashi sighed, "Yeah, but it's usually red. He doesn't really notice it. At least he hasn't asked me." They fell silent. Hidan spoke up, "Listen how about that kiss…"Arashi stopped him, "Hidan, you are the stupidest person I have ever met, and if you were the last guy on Earth I would never bring my lips near y- okay fine." She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss.

They stayed like that for a while before pulling away. Arashi glared at him, "Don't you dare speak a word about this to Deidara or I'll-"Hidan silenced her, "I won't, geez." He pulled her onto his lap, Arashi resting her head on his chest. "Ugh, I knew this would be a bad idea," she mumbled.

"It's really f-cking easy. All you have to do is go see that dumbass Deidara-chan and he'll never find out," Hidan suggested, wrapping his arms around her. Arashi sighed and closed her eyes, listening to Hidan's heartbeat.

That was the point that Kawauso burst through the door. "Arashi, we're done packing and we're set to leave- Oh. Oh I see." He leaned in the doorway. Arashi snapped her eyes open and jerked out of Hidan's grip.

"KAWAUSO, IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT-"She clamped a hand over her mouth. Kawauso glanced down the hallway. "… All clear. I guess I'll meet you outside."

Arashi groaned and got off of Hidan, "I'll take your advice." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead before leaving the room.

"I am such a whore," Arashi mumbled to herself as she approached Deidara's room. Deidara opened the door before she could knock, she ran right into him.

"Arashi? I was just about to look for you, hmm." Deidara dragged her inside of his room. Shutting the door behind him, he pulled Arashi into a kiss, but she dodged his lips at the last second. Deidara pulled away, stunned.

"I'll only kiss you if you and Hidan stop fighting," Arashi explained. Deidara narrowed his eyes and sat on the bed, arms crossed across his chest, "No, hmm."

Arashi sat behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, "Please?" she begged softly. He ignored her. Arashi frowned and released him and crawled over to the edge of the bed and sulked.

"That's not going to work, hmm." Deidara mumbled. Arashi sniffled. Deidara glanced at her as she wiped her face. "Aw, don't cry hmm." Arashi sniffled again. The artist sighed and pulled her into a hug. Arashi grinned as she buried her head in his shoulder, '_Sucker_' she thought to herself.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll only attack Hidan if he starts it, hmm." Arashi's eyes snapped open and she pinned Deidara onto the bed. She brought her face closer to his, so that he blushed slightly. Her lips pulled back, exposing the pointed teeth as she growled. Deidara swallowed, "Okay, fine, hmm." Arashi replaced her irritated expression with a smirk, "That settles it then." She flopped down on top of him.

Deidara sighed and stared at the ceiling, "Settles what, hmm." Arashi mentally slapped herself. She wasn't suppose to mention that, "Oh, nothing," she snuggled into his chest, hoping to drop the subject. "What?" Grr. That stupid word. Arashi sighed, "Okay, fine. I uh… Kissed Hidan." She blurred the last words together. Deidara caught it; she heard his heart stop for a moment. "What?!"

Arashi pulled away, avoiding his eyes. "You did what, hmm?" Deidara shot up, anger burning off of him. "Look, I'm sorry." She whispered. Deidara groaned, "Does that mean you're giving up me for him, hmm?" Arashi's eyes widened, "No! Of course not." She brought him into a kiss to prove her point. She sensed his relief as he kissed her back. He pulled away, serious again. "So what then, hmm?"

Arashi flashed him a smirk, "I'll have two boyfriends, how hard can it be?"

Oh you have no idea.

---

At first, it had gone well. Arashi, Kawauso, Hidan, and Deidara were ready to leave the base. As they were leaving, a few bets were placed- Who would win over Arashi. Ignoring them, they set off, first flying on Arashi's phoenix form, then settling for walking as they approached civilization. That and darkness had fallen over the Earth.

They were to walk a little bit farther until setting up camp for the night. This was the part that Deidara glanced at Hidan and pulled Arashi closer to him. Hidan caught this movement and pulled the medic closer to him. Deidara glared and tugged on Arashi's arm. She punched both of them in the stomach with each of her fists.

Finally, they had decided to settle down for the night. Kawauso found a nice spot by the fire and curled up, falling asleep instantly. Arashi, however, had no such luck. She found herself stuck in between a very pissed of Hidan and an extremely jealous Deidara. Kawauso opened one golden eye and beamed at her. She glared back.

Hidan and Deidara had both fallen asleep. Deidara unconsciously wrapped his arm around Arashi. Hidan copied him at the same time. Arashi growled softly.

As the night passed on, an idea sprang into Arashi's mind. Hidan, still asleep, leaned forward for a kiss. Deidara's eyes wearily opened as he felt lips on his own. Too tired to register the image, he returned the kiss.

Hidan and Deidara's eyes snapped open when they realized they were kissing each other. They scuttled to different corners of the camp, retching.

"Oh my god, Arashi, you are terrible." Kawauso stated as they watched the chaos from a tree branch. The medic grinned at her partner, "I know I get it from you."

---

The next morning, they set off immediately, on foot. Hidan and Deidara kept their distance, still shaken by last night's incident.

"… Hey wait." Kawauso stopped. The other three turned around to stare. "Where the hell are we going?"

"… Good point." Arashi agreed.

Hidan sighed and leaned against a tree, "Orochimaru's hideout."

"And where is that, hmm?" Deidara asked, glaring at Hidan. The Jashin follower shrugged, "No f-cking i-"

With that, Hidan disappeared. A hole stood in his place. "Oh god," Arashi dashed over to the hole and knelt beside it, calling Hidan's name.

"Yes!" Deidara cheered quietly. Arashi shot him a glare, "Hidan? Can you hear me?" A muffled moan echoed through the hole. "Ow…" Arashi sighed with relief. She caught Deidara beaming. She pushed him down the hole.

"OW! DUMBASS! GET OFF OF ME! OW! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME YOU ASSHOLE!"

"I think I broke a rib, hmm."

Arashi groaned, "Come on, Kawauso, let's go get them." Kawauso nodded and jumped into the hole. Arashi sighed and leaped after him. She landed on top of Kawauso, who was lying on Deidara, who was crushing Hidan. All three groaned in unison.

"Thanks for the soft landing!" Arashi chirped, "And look, a tunnel." She crawled of them, Kawauso freeing himself from the jumble soon after her. Deidara climbed off of Hidan, who lay there.

"Come on, we have to check this out," ordered Arashi, "This could be something important." Hidan groaned and struggled to his feet.

As soon as they entered the tunnel, Kawauso wrinkled his nose, "Augh, it reeks in here!" Arashi sniffed and recoiled as well, "Yeah." Deidara and Hidan, however, couldn't smell a thing. "What's it smell like, hmm?" The sculptor questioned. "Like…" Kawauso stared, "Like…"

"SNAKE!" Hidan called. "Yeah, like a snake." Kawauso finished. "No, I f-cking mean it. A f-cking snake! A big-ass one too, at that!" He pointed down the tunnel. Sure enough, a mammoth serpent was slithering towards them. Arashi pushed the boys up to the wall, "Stay here, and try not to breathe too loudly." She approached the snake, flesh melting into violet scales.

Arashi's snake form and the massive green snake met each other. Snake Arashi's tongue flicked in and out as she hissed quietly. The snake answered her with its own hisses. After about a minute, it slithered away to exit the tunnel.

Deidara and Hidan let out their held breaths. "Did you just f-cking speak to it?" Hidan asked. Arashi, still in her snake form, nodded. "She said that she was going out to hunt. I asked her where this tunnel led. We're headed for the house of Orochimaru, guys."

Kawauso shivered, "Sounds like something out of a horror movie." Arashi hissed and started slithering farther down the tunnel, "I'll use this form to blend in. Just don't die when I'm not looking." She cackled quietly.

Kawauso shrugged and followed her, Hidan tagging behind. Deidara shivered, "I hate snakes, hmm." He ran to catch up with the group.

---

Arashi changed back to her human form as they stared at the large wooden door. There was a large statue of a snake on top of the doorway. Arashi shivered, "Oh god, I know I will not like this."

Hidan snorted and turned the doorknob, "Let's just get this shit over with." He slipped through the door. Deidara gave one last glance before entering, Kawauso scampering after them.

Arashi stared at the snake statue and into its cold eyes. She gave a final shudder and entered the house of Orochimaru.


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh my f-cking Jashin. I swear we've been here at least twenty f-cking times!" Hidan growled. Arashi stared at the familiar golden snake statue in defeat. "Can't help but agree with you," she mumbled.

"This whole base is a maze, hmm," Deidara pointed out. Kawauso nodded his agreement, "Maybe we should split up."

"I'll go with Arashi! (hmm)" Deidara and Hidan declared in unison. They shot each other a glare. Arashi rolled her eyes, "Great, I can't count on leaving either of you alone without killing each other…" She grabbed Deidara's arm and pulled him in one direction. Hidan shot the blonde a glare before heading the opposite way, Kawauso tagging behind him.

Deidara smirked to himself as he followed Arashi down another dimly lighted hallway, "I don't believe we've been this way before, hmm." Arashi stopped and surveyed their surroundings, "Yeah, I think you're right! And look, two doors!" She pointed to the doors, each at the end of the hallway.

"Which one should we take, hmm?" Arashi shrugged, "Guess we'll split up again." Arashi opened the left door and stuck her head inside, "Just don't get lost," she ordered and disappeared behind the door.

Deidara rolled his eyes. '_Yeah, like I'll get lost. I'll probably have to come looking for you._' He thought as he slipped through the other door. It led him down a hallway, even darker that the one he had came through earlier. He walked calmly over the gravelly path, observing every square inch of the hallway. Traps could be anywhere. It wasn't like they hadn't been through quite a few before.

Deidara stopped in front of a large wooden door. It was opening slightly, beckoning him inside with its invisible fingers. So when a wooden door invites you in, you might as well go in. And that's just what Deidara did.

The room behind the door was completely black. There was no source of illumination as the artist stepped inside. The door slammed behind him, and Deidara found himself smirking. What a cliché haunted house. Mazes, slamming doors, what next? Writing in… blood?

The lights snapped on, and Deidara got a first good look at his surroundings. The room was completely empty. There wasn't even an exit aside from where he came from. He groaned and turned to go back out to the hallway and find Arashi.

That was when he noticed a small girl standing in front of the entrance. She looked scared and held a small dagger in her hand, "Who are you?" she squeaked, "Why are you here?"

Deidara raised an eyebrow and bent down to meet her eyes. "Oh, don't worry, sweetie, I'm just passing by, hmm." Deidara told her in his sweetest voice. Then again, he was an S-ranked criminal.

She tightened her grip on the dagger, "Liar," She whispered. Deidara flashed her a smile, "What? It's the truth, hmm." She spoke the word 'liar' again, this time louder. She repeated the word louder and louder, loud enough that Deidara was sure that someone would find him if she didn't shut up. He whipped out a kunai and prepared to slit the young girl's throat.

But then suddenly, she wasn't a little girl anymore. Her body hardened into green scales, she lost her hair, her neck stretched and her eyes became snakelike and slit. The dagger in her now scaly hands lengthened so that it had to be at least ten feet long. She stretched her long neck so that it was inches away from his face and hissed.

Deidara gulped. What was with him and snakes? The sculptor jumped out of the way as the snake-girl attempted to sink her teeth into his torso. He tossed the kunai at the monster, but it harmlessly clinked off of her scale armor. He smirked, no matter. Just another chance to display his art. His hands whipped to his clay pouches and collected clay.

Snake-girl grasped the sword in her teeth and dashed at him. Deidara dodged each one of her swipes as his palm-mouths digested the clay. Finally, he grasped the ball of clay in each of his hands and molded them into clay sparrows.

Opening his palms, they flew at the snake and exploded. Snake-girl was blinded momentarily, just as tiny spiders crawled all up her neck. She glanced down at the clay insects that completely coated her head and neck.

Deidara smirked at the mutant, "Too bad you messed with the wrong guy, hmm." A single hand sign and the snake's head exploded.

Arashi growled as she wandered out of yet another trap. Why did she have to pick the door that led to a trap infested hallway? She had already set off five traps before turning around, only to be caught in two more.

She finally arrived at the door, only spikes sprouted from it. The end of the hallway began to close in on her. She sighed. '_I hope Deidara is having fun as well._'

Deidara smirked as he turned to exit the room. What a stupid little girl, challenging a full grown man like himself. He laughed quietly as he approached the door. Suddenly, a searing pain gripped his shoulder. His body froze with pain as Deidara felt sticky liquid drip from the wound.

He slowly looked down at his shoulder. A sword protruded from a wound on his upper arm, blood dripping steadily from the weapon. He winced and traced the weapon too its owner. None other then Snake-girl's mouth. She flashed him a smile and thrust the weapon forward.

Despite the pain it caused him, Deidara kept his mouth shut. Snake-girl apparently did not approve of this. She pulled out another sword and threw it. It sliced his side. He bit back a cry and sank to his knees. Blood flew out of his mouth as Snake-girl ripped her first sword out of his shoulder. She raised the sword above her head and brought it down.

Deidara rolled out of the way and got on his feet. The pain was too immense; he clutched his wounded side and knelt down on one leg. His eyes widened as another sword struck him in the chest, narrowly missing a vital spot. He hacked up more blood and cringed as the sword was pulled out of him.

Deidara slouched sideways as he gasped for air. The Snake-girl cackled and pressed the tip of the sword to Deidara's heaving chest. She leaned down to look at him in the eyes, apparently ready to enjoy his death. '_What a non-artistic way to die._' Deidara thought solemnly. The mutant began to dig the sword tip into his already bleeding chest.

"DIE, BITCH!" A flash of light blue and neon green tackled the Snake-girl. She hissed as she was knocked sideways, dropping the sword. Lion Arashi bared her teeth that sparkled with electricity. She sunk her teeth into the snake mutant's neck, piercing the scale armor with her electric addition to the bite. She let out a piercing shriek and slithered away from the lion.

Arashi snarled, "Did I say I was done with you?" Her mane sparked up and she sent an electric shock in Snake-girl's direction. She ducked out of the way and hissed. The snake flung herself onto the walls and scurried towards the exit. "Hey!" Arashi roared, "Get back here." She dashed after the serpent, only to slip and fall face first. The electric feline struggled to her feet and glared as the serpent escaped. She'd go after it. But as she prepared for a chase, Arashi noticed what she had slipped on.

She brought a paw to her face. Crimson liquid. Blood. Damn, the thing had hit her. No, it wasn't her blood. That reminded her. Wasn't she forgetting something? Uh… Began with a D. Day… Today was Saturday? … Or was it Friday? Dei… DEIDARA. "SHIT!" Arashi hissed out loud. She'd completely forgotten about him. She changed back to her human form before she got carried away again.

She turned around to find him lying facedown directly behind him, blood slowly gathering in a pool beneath his body. Arashi knelt down beside him, her knees becoming soaked in his blood. She gently rolled him onto his back and took a closer look at him. Deidara didn't appear to be breathing. Arashi grit her teeth and nudged him gently while calling his name. No answer of course. She leaned forward and placed an ear on his chest and listened.

He still had a heartbeat. There was still hope. She quickly removed his cloak and his shirt underneath it, trying to ignore the fact that she was stripping one of her boyfriends. Arashi flinched at the many punctures that littered his upper body. She placed her hands on the wound on his chest and began to heal him.

The Akatsuki's eyes wandered to the strange tattoo on his chest. So they were alike in a way. Arashi's own tattoo glowed an intense silver- she was angry. It was her fault Deidara was like this. Partially. If she hadn't been so caught up in fighting that stupid snake…

Arashi snarled and moved on to the next wound on his side. Deidara coughed up more blood; she paused to wipe his mouth. At least she could tell he was breathing. Arashi continued to yell at her self. She shouldn't have split up with him. She should have stayed by his side and protect him, like the Fenikkusu were trained to do. What ever the cost, protect the people they-

"Arashi…" Arashi stared at Deidara when he whispered her name. The wound on his side was patched up; she moved to the one on his shoulder. Deidara smiled weakly at her as Arashi fixed his shoulder wound. She avoided his eyes and focused solely on the injury. The tattoo on her shoulder stopped glowing silver and the light disappeared. Arashi opened her medicine pouch and wrapped bandages around Deidara's closed wounds to ensure they wouldn't open again.

"Arashi?" Deidara asked hoarsely. She ignored him yet again and tied the bandages together. He sat up, "Arashi." Oh god, she was beginning to hate her name. Arashi stared at him for a while. He stared back just as intense. She gave up and embraced him in a hug, sobbing on his shoulder. Deidara sighed and rubbed her back gently, "Women…" He muttered.

The overwhelming urge to punch Deidara turned into more tears. "I'm… getting your bandages all wet," Arashi choked. Deidara glanced at his shoulder, "Yes you are, hmm." Guilt brought on more tears. So did the familiar sentence ender. Deidara sighed again, "Arashi, what are you getting so worked up about, hmm?" More tears. Smooth.

"That's the second time you've been hurt because of that stupid lion transformation," Arashi managed to spit out. Instead of making another stupid comment, Deidara decided to change the subject, "What about Hidan and Kawauso, hmm?"

Arashi buried her face in Deidara's shoulder, the tears finally stopping, "They're fine, probably..."

Meanwhile…

"AGH! KAWAUSO, DAMN YOU! GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME WITH THIS GIANT SPERM!"

"I WOULD BUT I'M TRYING NOT TO GET EATEN BY THIS THING!"

"HISSSSSS!"

"OH MY GOD (JASHIN)!"

Back to our lovers…

Deidara helped Arashi to her feet, "We should probably go look for them, hmm." Arashi sniffled and clung to his side as they exited the room.

They had walked in utter silence down the halls they had taken. Arashi's anger died, and her tattoo began to glow a sickly green. Deidara didn't bother asking her what it meant.

"What's with the Jashin followers and the Fenikkusu, hmm?"

Arashi glanced up at him; she had her eyes focused on the ground they walked on. "The Fenikkusu were devoted to anyone they fell in love with. If something bad happened to something or someone they loved, they would unleash their fury on anything. Jashinists found this too our liking and got some of my clan to fall in love with them. They used us to destroy their enemies."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "So what? Is Hidan using you, then, hmm?" His hands curled into fists. Arashi shook her head, "Well, I thought he would. But… actually no. Some Jashinists who used the Fenikkusu actually did fall in love with each other. And then they happily… killed things."

CRASH.

The shinobi were on guard instantly. Deidara's hands had already flown to his clay pouches, and his mouths were chewing clay rapidly. Arashi's chakra had traveled to her fists and became crab pinchers. She snapped them anxiously as they followed the direction of the crash.

Smoke rose from the broken wall. A green figure burst out of the hole and scampered down the hallway. Arashi recognized the figure as the Snake-girl. She snarled, but Deidara pulled her away.

"Come on, hmm. We're going this way." He pulled her into the hole Snake-girl created. It was huge and dark; Deidara could barely see where he was going. However, Arashi had keen vision because of her animalistic attributes. She used this to pull the artist along.

"ow…"

Arashi paused, "Hear that?" Deidara looked at her inquisitively, "Hear what, hmm?"

"Ow…" Louder now. Arashi pulled Deidara further down the tunnel. "Ow, shit." The voice grew louder as they went deeper into the tunnel. "OW! Shit."

"OW! SHIT!"

"OW! That f-cking hurts, seriously. OW, SHIT!"

Arashi cringed when she recognized Hidan's voice. Her chakra pinchers grew longer and sharper as she quickened her pace, practically dragging Deidara behind her. Light began to filter at the edge of the tunnel. The shouts grew even louder. Arashi completely forgot about Deidara and sprinted out the tunnel. Her skin began to melt.

Orochimaru grinned as he drew more blood with his snakes. Their jaws had parted, exposing a single long sword. There were dozens of them, all swarming in the small room. The room appeared to be an infirmary. There were hundreds of vials containing liquids all on shelves bordering the room. And in the center was a table. And on that table happened to be a Jashinist.

At least ten snakes (their squirming bodies made it hard to tell what they were) had dug their swords into Hidan's body. Blood flowed from her side, chest, and mouth.

"So, are you ready to tell me the key to your immortality?" Hidan growled, "I kill assholes like you!" Orochimaru cackled. Another snake-sword was stabbed into Hidan's arms. Hidan growled again. Another sword into his leg.

Beside Orochimaru stood Snake-girl herself. And chained to the wall behind Snake-girl herself was Kawauso, himself. Orochimaru giggled creepily again and turned to the otter, "You're next." He smiled and rubbed his hand down the otter's neck.

Kawauso shivered, "Aw man, I think I wet myself." Snake-girl hissed. Orochimaru turned back to Hidan, "Do you mind cleaning that up?"

Just then, the wall burst open. Arashi toppled out of the debris, in full phoenix form. Deidara coughed, "THE PHOENIX? Why the hell did you use that thing, hmm? It's freaking huge! Couldn't you have gone for stealth with the weasel, hmm? Now our cover's completely… Oh… shit."

Kawauso made a feeble wave from the chained up position he was in. Hidan struggled to raise his head. Orochimaru and Snake-girl stared at the abnormally large chicken and girly man.

"Hi." Arashi said.

Orochimaru hissed and his snake-swords retreated back up his arm. Arashi's eye twitched momentarily before her form changed into a purple serpent. She returned the hiss, her teeth already leaking violet poison that dripped onto the ground. The floor that the poison hit sizzled and shriveled into dust.

Arashi closed her jaws and began generating massive amounts of poison in her mouth. She spewed toward a ball of gunk that splashed over the chains that held Kawauso down. The metal began to rust before finally breaking off into small chunks. The otter shook his fur as he fell to the ground.

Arashi slithered over to Hidan, who was struggling to a sitting position. He nodded at the serpent to signal that he didn't need any assistance. At that moment, a kunai was whipped in Arashi's direction. She whipped her tail around and the quills extended until they formed a spiky shield. The weapon clanged harmlessly off the spikes and onto the floor.

The serpent slithered over to the medicine vials and broke one of them that contained a yellow liquid. She slurped the liquid from the floor, hoping to God it wasn't pee, and turned to face Orochimaru. "I'll take the rapist, you three get the snake," Arashi hissed. Hidan snatched his scythe from the table and tossed Kawauso his battleaxe. The otter caught it and twirled the weapon in his paws.

Deidara tossed a few of his bombs at the snake mutant, and in the next second, the three were gone. Arashi and Orochimaru were left alone in the room. "Finally, just the two of us," Orochimaru giggled. Arashi hissed quietly. Hopefully, he didn't rape snakes. She began to gather poison in her mouth and mold it into tiny poison darts. Down and out of Orochimaru's arm slithered a large green snake. It opened its jaws and gagged up a long and pointy sword. A similar snake crawled out of the Sannin's other arm and did the same. To make things worse, a final sword appeared out of Orochimaru's own mouth. Oh, and the swords dripped green stuff.

Arashi cackled to herself and spit the poison darts at Orochimaru's left leg. Without feeling the slightest prick, he charged but only to find that his leg was paralyzed. He stumbled awkwardly and tripped. Arashi grinned at plunged her spiked and drenched in poison tail into Orochimaru's shoulder. He disappeared in a puff of smoke. Arashi hissed and was slashed by one of the snake swords.

The transformed kunoichi slid backwards into the medicine shelf. A few vials fell to the floor and shattered, their contents spilled everywhere. The chemicals immediately were soaked into Arashi's skin without her even thinking about it. Ignoring the wooziness, she spit a river of poison at her opponent. He dodged this, but the floor shriveled beneath the chemicals. Orochimaru's neck stretched as he slashed Arashi yet again.

This time, Arashi saw it coming. However, sudden dizziness prevented her from moving out of the way. Once again she was thrown backwards and shattered all of the medicine vials. The serpent hiccupped as the chemicals were absorbed. Her body felt like lead. Arashi lazily stared up at Orochimaru, who was approaching her. A lazy smile crept to her face.

"Hee haw. *hiccup* The unicorns t-told me th-that… pudding … tastes g-good on… *hiccup* t-turtle pancakes…" The snake's words were slurred. Orochimaru stared at her, gulping his sword back down. He poked Arashi's neck with one of his snake-swords. Chemicals leaked onto the floor. Arashi burst out laughing.

"*hiccup* S-stop. I never liked… acupuncture…" She began to blow tiny poisonous bubbles and rolled around. Orochimaru, meanwhile, stared. "Hee, *hiccup* *hiccup* C-can has virginity n-now?" Arashi continued. Orochimaru was getting annoyed with Arashi's behavior. He brought both swords above his head and plunged them downward.

Arashi slithered out of the weapon's way, "S-sorry. Arashi's gotta *hiccup* find the ligers now…" She stumbled out of the room. Orochimaru stared at the door she had left for a moment before dashing after her.

He saw her slithering lazily down the hallway, leaving a trail of purple chemicals. "I won't let you get away!" Orochimaru yelled. Arashi stopped and slowly turned around, "My leprechauns disapprove." Arashi spewed a gigantic amount of poison at Orochimaru. She missed by a margin and hit a…. hit… a… Crap. Arashi hit a support beam.

Hidan smiled with joy as his scythe slashed the snake mutant through the middle. Blood poured to the ground. Hidan stepped out of the way as water whipped forth and slammed the mutant to the ground. Kawauso froze the water, trapping the serpent. Deidara grinned as his clay spiders crawled over the mutant's body. "You're not getting away this time, hmm! Katsu!"

The snake exploded, and as the dust cleared, there was nothing but a spot of blood. Deidara smirked, happy to have his revenge. Hidan sighed, "Great, the dumbass got to kill it." He wiped some blood off of the corner of his mouth and slung his scythe onto his back. "Can we go-"

Hidan was cut off by a loud rumble. The ground started shaking. Kawauso growled at turned back to where Snake-girl was. No sign. Then… A rock hit the otter in the head. His eyes widened, "It's collapsing!" Kawauso hollered. "WHAT?" Hidan yelled, "Great, just f-cking great!" Deidara was already running down the hallway they had fought in, "Come on, hmm."

Hidan and Kawauso followed him. "Arashi!" Hidan called out, "Damn, where the hell did she go?" Deidara dodged a chunk of rock that nearly squashed him, "There! I think I see her snake form!" He pointed to the edge of the hallway. Rocks began to fill up the underground hideout. The three quickened their pace, but before they could reach Arashi, someone had scooped her up off the ground.

"NO!" Deidara and Hidan hissed. "Who ever took her must try to be escaping; we'll find her after _we_ get out of here!" Kawauso called to them, "Now come on!" Reluctantly, the two Akatsuki members ran to find an exit.

Hidan glanced behind him. Rock piles were beginning to catch up to them, "HURRY THE HELL UP." Hidan yelled. "I see light, hmm!" Deidara called. Sure enough, the exit was only a few feet away. They managed to return to the hole they had entered just as the opening behind them disappeared under rock piles.

And before they could even be relieved, they realized the hole was crumbling as well. A rock clonked Hidan in the head, "Ow, shit!" He snarled and rubbed his sore spot. "The opening's, closing, hmm!" Deidara yelled. Water whipped out of Kawauso's fur and grabbed the edge of the hole. "Grab on to me!" The otter ordered. Deidara grasped his shoulder, and Hidan moved to do the same.

Or tried to at least. "OH HELL NO. I'M STUCK!" Hidan screeched. His foot was buried under rock and he couldn't move as he squirmed around. Deidara groaned and grabbed Hidan's hand. Still wouldn't budge. "Hurry!" Kawauso called frantically. The opening was beginning to disappear as more rocks covered the ditch.

Kawauso coughed and opened his golden eyes. He was lying on his back and also happened to be covered in dirt. But above him was a blue sky. Kawauso sprang to his feet, "I did it!" He shook Hidan and Deidara awake, who were sprawled out next to him.

"Guys, we're alive!" The otter yelled, "_I _dragged you out of there." He beamed.

"Keep telling yourself that, Kawauso." A sarcastic voice said.

Kawauso's eye twitched. He recognized that stupid voice. "Kashira," He hissed.


	11. Chapter 11

Arashi grunted as she felt a needle prick her snake snout. Her mind was still foggy, but the fog seemed to lift after the needle prick. A few more pricks, and she was aware of her surroundings.

Arashi was still in her snake form. Immediately, she was relieved. If she had turned back to a human, she would have died instantly from all the chemicals she had absorbed. Another prick. Arashi sighed as the world stopped spinning.

"Nice, Arashi," someone said. "You go and get yourself drunk with chemicals. Can't I leave you alone long enough without you getting in trouble?" Arashi lifted her head and hissed at the someone. Another needle into her chin. She stared as a yellow chemical flowed through the needle and into a vial.

A young man, a bit older than Arashi, examined the vial. He had brown spiked hair- the same color as Arashi's- and mint green eyes. He wore a forest green jacket over a fishnet shirt and black pants. His teeth poked out of him mouth a little, but a lot less noticeable than Arashi's.

His green eyes narrowed, "… Is this pee?" Arashi snarled and transformed back to her human form. Most of the dangerous chemicals were gone from her body. "It's not, you idiot!" Arashi snapped at the boy.

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really." He sniffed the vial and set it in a bag, along with more vials of liquids. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was… Now then…" He leaned closer to Arashi, a smirk on his face, "Who is that boy that Kashira found?" All anger erased from Arashi's face, "… Only one boy?" She whispered. Had they lost someone? The man nodded, "Yeah, Kawauso, some silver haired dude, and a real ugly chick."

Arashi stared at him and burst out laughing, "Yeah, that was my first impression to. He's a guy, Iji." Iji stared at her, "WHAT? No way, NO WAY! That thing is a girl." Arashi smirked, "It's a guy, and he's my boy-"She clamped a hand over her mouth. Iji blinked and broke out in a wide grin. He helped his sister to her feet, "No way."

Arashi blushed and her tattoo glowed pink, "… Well he's one of my boyfriends." Iji stared, "You're a whore?" Arashi narrowed his eyes and punched her brother in the forehead. He fell to the ground. "Shut up," she hissed, "And where are they, anyway?" Iji grunted and rubbed his sore forehead, "With Kashira, not to far away from here."

Arashi's brother was far better at changing animals than she was. His two transformations were a little simpler than some of Arashi's but Kashira was beyond simple.

At first, he was a regular deer. You would only know that if someone told you. Now Kashira was covered in green spikes. He didn't have antlers, but two green goat horns. He had leg like a deer would, but also two spiky arms. A deer to a centaur. But his spikes, horns, and three pairs of limbs was not the strangest feature of Kashira. His heads were.

He had one, sitting on his neck like a normal head would. And his face always looked annoyed. And on his sides were six more heads. Three on each side. Each head also had the lower half of their body and arms, but no legs. And yet, that was only the beginning.

Each head had a different brain, and a different personality. Head One sat on Kashira's left shoulder. He was the bossy and serious type who sometimes took over Kashira's role as the boss. Head Two was behind him. He was extremely lazy and had absolutely no motivation. He just liked to sleep. When he was awake, he complained constantly. Number Three was on Kashira's hindquarters. This head liked to keep quiet, but he was afraid of his own shadow.

On the right side shoulder was Head Four. He was short tempered, arrogant, and overall mean. He and Head One as well as Kashira himself always got in fights. Head Five, the relaxed laid back one. The peacemaker and fun loving one of the group. He fails at keeping the heads together though. And finally, Head Six. Clueless. Stupid. This head has absolutely no idea what's going on.

So with seven heads, the old term 'two heads are better than one comes up'. Okay, maybe two or three, but when you hit seven heads, everything goes downhill. When Arashi asked Iji why he gave Kashira so many heads, he said that he thought it would be a good way to handle being outnumbered. Eyes on all sides. The bad news; no head could get along with the other. So every five minutes, a fight would break out.

And Kashira and Kawauso… never got along either.

"Kashira. What kind of gay girly name is that?" Kawauso growled. Serious Head rolled his eyes, "Kawauso, do we really need any of your crap?" Angry Head snarled back at Serious, "Do _I _need any of your crap?" Serious glared at him.

"Well, man, Kashira's a pretty, name." Relaxed Head pointed out. Clueless Head cheered, "Yay! I like pretty!" Lazy Head yawned, "I hate all of you. I hate everything."

"And before you insult us, talk to crossdresser over there. What's his name, Deidre?" Angry snapped. Deidara narrowed his eyes, "**Deidara**." He corrected. Clueless stared, "Deidre? OMG HIIIII!" Deidara didn't answer this.

"DEIDARA. HIDAN." Both Akatsuki turned around at the mention of their names. Arashi jumped out of the bushes and tackled them both to the ground while embracing them in a giant hug. "I thought you died!" she cried while nuzzling each of them.

"Arashi, hmm… We can't… breathe…" Deidara gasped. Arashi blinked and jumped off of them. "Heh, sorry." Hidan embraced her this time, "NEVER F-CKING DO THAT AGAIN, YOU ASSHOLE." The kunoichi sighed as Deidara pried her away from the masochist and hugged her.

Kawauso stared at the man-catfight that followed. Something clicked, "Uh, aren't we forgetting something?"

Iji scratched his head, "Like what?"

"Pudding?" Clueless asked. Kashira stared at the head. "I dunno," Kawauso continued, "But it was something… Important. Very important. And it started with a-"

"SHIT! GIANT SNAKE THING!"

"Yeah, that. Thanks Hidan." Kawauso said, "Oh, wait. OH GOD." He was nearly hit by a pair of giant fangs. A huge snake erupted from the ground, and on its head was none other than the rapist. Or Orochimaru, if that's what you wanna call him.

"Aw, come on!" Arashi yelled and dragged her boyfriends into the nearest tree. "Oh, silly girl, you didn't really think that I would leave you, did you?" Orochimaru chuckled. Her eye twitched and she threw a twig at him. She missed.

Kawauso screamed and began running around in circles. Kashira stared at him. He sighed, "Iji, do we have to?"

"Well, duh," a plump purple badger replied. His entire appearance seemed cartoonish and there was a wing tattoo on his left arm. Kashira sighed again and pulled out a spike from his shoulder, molding it into a bow. Pulling out another spike, he notched this into his spike-bow. "I assume you want us to take on the snake?" The serious head asked. The badger nodded, "And don't mess up, either." Angry snorted, "Like we ever do that."

Serious stared back at the head, "Really?"

Before a head fight could break out, Kashira charged. He pulled back the string in his bow and fired the arrow. The tip curled into a pointed hook and stuck onto the tip of the snake's snout. It hissed in pain, and Kashira charged forward, two spikes in his hands. He raked them down the serpent's sides with the help of his heads, who had extended their spikes so that they became six spiky balls.

Iji, meanwhile, was facing Orochimaru. The pedophile glared at the badger. His neck stretched and lurched forward, huge snakelike fangs extending from his mouth. Kashira paused his onslaught of arrows at his opponent and dashed into a nearby bush.

Orochimaru's teeth sank into Iji's shoulder. The badger stared at him, "You really, really shouldn't have done this." And he exploded. The blast knocked Orochimaru backwards and ripped numerous trees, including the one Arashi was on, out of the ground. Arashi, Deidara, and Hidan toppled to the ground. Kawauso flew into them.

Bits of purple began flying back to the spot Iji had once stood. Slowly, more badger pieces came together and soon Iji was standing in his badger form, looking very proud of himself. He transformed back to his human form and yawned, "That was actually pretty boring." Kashira peeked from the bushes and nodded his agreement.

"Oh really?" Orochimaru appeared behind Arashi. She froze and slowly turned around to meet those sadistic eyes, "Pft. Typical." She snorted. Hidan, Kawauso and Deidara immediately reached for their weapons and Arashi channeled chakra to her fists, forming bear claws.

Orochimaru grinned, turned around, and ran. Arashi stared after him for a moment, and then hissed, "Hey! Coward, get back here!" She roared and raced after him, on four legs.

"Arashi! Wait, hmm." Deidara called after her. Kawauso groaned, "Iji, he ran away and now Arashi's gone after him."

Iji appeared behind them, Kashira next to him, "Really? Man…" Angry head burst into fits of laughter, "Ha! Arashi's gonna die!" Shy head burst into tears, and Serious glared at the head. Clueless clapped his hands together, "Oh! You know what this calls for?"

"What?" Everyone asked. "A spontaneous music number!" Clueless replied, "Ready? And a one, and a-"

Everyone groaned.

---

Arashi channeled more of her chakra to her feet, picking up her pace. The snake man was just in sight, but whenever she got the least bit closer, he slipped from her wrath. And this frustrated the kunoichi even more than before.

Orochimaru turned to his pursuer and chuckled, "Hey, are you going to catch me or what?" Arashi snarled and leaped at him. Yet again, he dodged just in time. This time, however, there was no ground to meet her. Arashi began to plummet down off of a cliff that just _had_ to be there.

"Gotcha, hmm." Deidara announced triumphantly. Arashi stared in his eyes. He was on top of a clay owl, and she was lying in her arms. She sighed, "Deidara, I was about to fly, you know." She flapped her chakra eagle wings to emphasize her point.

Deidara grinned, "Doesn't matter, hmm. I just wanted to be away from Hidan with you." Arashi raised an eyebrow, "Why?" Deidara held her chin in his hands, his palm-mouths tickling her, "To do this, hmm." He pressed his lips against hers. Arashi intertwined her fingers in his blonde hair and returned the kiss.

Without them breaking away, Deidara commanded the owl to start flying upwards. They broke apart just before anyone, especially Hidan, could see them.

It was a good thing too; the others were at the edge of the cliff. They were also surrounding Orochimaru.

The owl disappeared in a puff of smoke. Deidara and Arashi landed side by side behind Hidan.

To their surprise, Orochimaru burst into fits of giggles. Hidan glared, "Either you're seriously on f-cking drugs are you're f-cking insane. Why are you f-cking laughing?"

Orochimaru smiled, "Oh, it's because you just fell into my trap."

Hidan blinked and looked down just to see a bomb seal light up, "Ah, shit." The cliff exploded and took the Akatsuki as well as Iji and Kashira down with it.

Each of them jumped from rock to rock, narrowly escaping being crushed by a huge boulder every second.

Arashi glanced upwards long enough to see a huge boulder hurtling towards Hidan. "Hidan!" She screeched and leaped over to him. He glanced at her, and she pushed him out of the way at the last second.

She landed on top of him at the bottom of the cliff. Turns out, it wasn't as far of a drop as they had expected. Arashi clung onto Hidan. He grunted, "Arashi. You're crushing me… Again."

Arashi peeled her eyes opened and jumped off of Hidan, "Are you hurt?" The Jashinist sat up and groaned, "Think I broke a f-cking rib… Ow…" Arashi sighed and asked him where. He pointed to a spot on his chest. She moved her hand over the spot and began channeling chakra into his wound.

Then she realized it wasn't really a wound, "Hidan. It's not broken." Hidan grinned, "I know." And he pulled her into a kiss. Arashi pulled Hidan onto his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck. Suddenly she broke away from him, "Oh my god, I am so dirty." She hissed to herself as the others landed a few feet away.

She just made out with Hidan about five minutes after she made out with Deidara.

Orochimaru giggled and landed behind them. Everyone groaned. "What, am I annoying you?"

"Yes." Hidan growled. Deidara tossed a clay centipede at Orochimaru. It curled around him, and Deidara exploded it.

When the smoke cleared, Orochimaru's charred body flopped to the ground. Kawauso sighed, "Thank God that's over."

"Uh… Think again." Kashira said. Orochimaru's mouth snapped open. To their alarm, and disgust, a hand began to reach out of Orochimaru's corpse.

Slowly, the hand became and arm. Then a shoulder. And then another hand. Finally, Orochimaru crawled out. He was dripping with green slime.

Kawauso threw up.

Arashi's eye twitched, "Come on!" she hissed. Arashi began to survey her surroundings, devising a plan.

Hidan groaned, "Ugh, how much f-cking longer do we have to put up with your shit?" Orochimaru cackled, "Until all of you are dead."

"You know, Orochimaru. It's kinda ironic how you picked this cliff," Arashi stated. He turned to her, "Oh really? Why?" Arashi met his eyes and broke out in a wide grin, "'Cause it's full of poisonous snakes."

And on cue, a snake burst out of the ground. Its fangs were dripping with poison and its eyes were dripping with malice. Another one followed it. And another. "And that's our cue to get the hell out of here," Arashi told the others as she dashed for the side of the cliff.

Charging chakra into her fists, she clambered upwards using bear claws. Iji climbed effortlessly past her, followed by Kashira. Arashi growled and glanced downward to see Kawauso clinging onto Hidan's leg as he ran up the cliff.

When they were finally on top, Arashi shot her partner a glare. "What was that about?" Kawauso shrugged, "Meh. Guess I'm lazy." Iji chuckled, "Probably got it from you."

She tackled her brother to the ground, "You are such an asshole!" She growled. Iji grinned, "You know, 'Rashi…" Her eye twitched at the hated nickname. Iji continued, "I've been dying to tell you this. Your transformations are way too showy. Sure, they're all sparkly and nice, but when it comes to battle, they suck. And they get clouded by emotions from the animal you took their DNA from and-"

"SHUT UP!" Arashi ordered, her tattoo glowing intense silver. She began to pummel him with her fists.

"Yay! Family reunion!" Clueless cheered. Kashira sighed, "Ah well, what did you expect from us?"

---

Yeah, sorry it's short. But it was taking a long time to finish. Thought I'd just get it over with and put this up.


	12. Chapter 12

Kabuto found his master lying in the pit of snakes. He appeared to have numerous snake bites and he was bleeding a lot.

As he treated Orochimaru's wounds, the snake man said, "Kabuto. I want all plans that include the Akatsuki or that Arashi girl burned." Kabuto raised an eyebrow, "But you've been planning this for-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Orochimaru snapped, "Those people are insane! There's this … _thing_ with seven heads! And this one person's a guy, but he looks like a girl! How messed up is that?" Orochimaru stuck his tongue out and cleaned his eyeball with it. Kabuto's eye twitched, "… Very messed up, sir. I'll burn the plans."

Orochimaru retracted his tongue, "Kabuto, take off your clothes now." The medic turned red, "Now? But-"

"NOW!" Orochimaru roared. Kabuto sighed and began to take off his pants.

------

"So let me get this straight," Iji said after Hidan and Deidara had fallen asleep. They had set up camp, and were gathered around the fire. Kashira sat next to Iji and Kawauso was behind Arashi. "You joined Akatsuki."

"Yep," Kawauso and Arashi answered in unison. "A group of S-ranked criminals?" Iji continued.

"Uh… Actually they're…" Arashi started. "A… group of… ballet dancers?" Kawauso suggested.

Iji stared and then glanced at Deidara, who was sound asleep. "Okay, maybe Blondie, but not Hidan. I can't imagine him in tights… In fact, I don't want to."

"I do!" Clueless chirped. Kashira and the other heads stared at him.

Iji sighed, "Well I guess the only good news is that we don't have to worry about Orochimaru anymore. But…" the Fenikkusu lowered his voice, "The Yokushin?"

Arashi groaned, "Listen, we only met up with Tenshinhige and Sagegami. We don't know if Tanran is really planning anything yet." Iji narrowed his eyes, "He probably is though. Alright, you stay with your… Ballet class… Kashira and I will investigate."

Arashi frowned, "Aw come on! Don't you wanna meet everyone?" Iji shivered, "I'd rather not, actually. Men in tights… Ew. We'll leave tomorrow morning."

-----

Hidan awoke to find Kawauso lying on top of him, drooling. He shot up, pushed the otter off of him, and brushed himself off. Deidara and Arashi were already awake… and making out.

Arashi glanced over in Hidan's direction and immediately pulled away from Deidara. Her face was red, "Oh! You're awake!"

"So it would seem," Hidan mumbled, "Where's Iji?"

Arashi sighed, "He left. We tried to wake you up, but you sleep like a log. He left a few hours ago."

"Whatever." Hidan began to pack up their things, "Let's just get out of here."

Arashi exchanged a worried glance with Kawauso before running to catch up with Deidara and Hidan, who had already started to leave. "Uh, can't we fly?" Arashi asked.

Hidan shrugged and continued to walk, "Forget about it. We're walking." Arashi frowned at this, "I'm tired of walking. Carry me, Hidan."

"No." Hidan answered without meeting her eyes. Arashi glared at him and transformed into her weasel form. She crawled onto Hidan's shoulder and plopped down on top of his head.

"Get. Off," Hidan ordered. Arashi snickered, "No." The Jashinist sighed, "Fine. Just don't scratch me." The weasel grinned, "I'll try my hardest to refrain from doing so." She caught Kawauso's golden eye. She returned his look.

Hidan had not sworn since he had woken up.

-----

"Thank God we're home," muttered Arashi as she opened the doors to the base, "Thought I was gonna die." She watched Hidan quickly walk down the hallway and into his room. The door slammed shut. The kunoichi glanced at Deidara. He shrugged and headed for his own room.

"Kawauso…" Arashi began. "Not now," the otter ordered, "I'm going to get something to eat." He made his way for the kitchen.

Arashi sighed and decided to go back to her own room. But before she opened the door, she stopped. Advice. She needed some of that. Arashi let go of the handle and knocked on Konan's door.

The blue-haired female opened the door and squealed, "Oh my gosh! You're back!" Arashi rubbed the back of her head, "Yeah, although…" Konan turned serious, "Hm. Relationship problems?" Arashi nodded. Konan shook her head and pulled Arashi into her room.

She sat on her bed, "Which one?" she asked. "Hidan," Arashi replied solemnly. Konan raised an eyebrow. Yeah, Arashi didn't really see it coming either. "Really? What's wrong?"

Arashi plopped down next to her. "I don't know! He just seems… gloomy." Konan nodded, "Maybe he thinks he's losing you to Deidara." Seems logical.

"Okay. What should I do then?" Konan smiled at Arashi's question, "Make him jealous." Arashi stared at her, "How?"

Konan shrugged, "There are a number of ways. I'm sure you'll find one."

Arashi left the room, breaking out in a wide smirk. This was going to be fun. Now then, who did Hidan hate most in the world…?

-----

Hidan was absentmindedly fiddling with his rosary when Arashi burst through his door. Hidan shot up into a sitting position on his bed, "What?"

Arashi was panting, and she looked scared, "Hidan!" She cried. Hidan ran to her side and draped an arm around her, "What?" he repeated.

The brunette began to cry, "Kakuzu…" Hidan froze, "Kakuzu what?"

"Kakuzu got me pregnant!"

And then, Hidan was gone. Arashi smiled, "Hm. That was easier than I thought."

Hidan ran to Kakuzu's room and slammed the door open. "KAKUZU!" Kakuzu blinked and turned to face his partner. He was counting his money. Woah. Did _not_ see that coming. "What?" the miser asked in a bored tone.

Hidan pounced on Kakuzu and pinned him to the ground, "Pedophile!" He hissed. Kakuzu glared at the Jashinist, "What?" Hidan returned the glare with twice as much malice. The silver-haired man began to slam Kakuzu's head against the floor, "ARASHI'S PREGNANT," he screeched.

And at that exact moment, Tobi just _had _to walk by. He paused when he heard Hidan's voice. Beneath his mask, Tobi's eyes grew wide. The masked shinobi ran to Deidara's room and opened the door, "Deidara-sempai!"

Deidara groaned and crushed the clay bird he was making. He whipped his head around to glare at Tobi, "What, hmm?"

"Hidan got Arashi-chan pregnant!"

Kawauso ran into Deidara's room, "WHAT?" Tobi nodded, "It's true! Tobi heard Hidan say it!" Kawauso screamed, "OH MY GOD!" Kisame walked by, "Ugh, what's with all the yelling?"

"ARASHI'S PREGNANT!" Deidara, Kawauso, and Tobi cried. Zetsu sprang out of the ground, "What? **Really?**" They nodded.

Itachi walked down the hallway, eating a dango. He paused at the small crowd gathering outside Deidara's room. "What's going on?" The Uchiha asked.

Kisame turned to his partner, "Hidan got Arashi pregnant!" Itachi choked on his dango, and Sasori opened his door, "Did I hear what I thought I heard?" The Akatsuki nodded.

"What should we do, hmm?" Deidara asked frantically. "Tell Leader!" Kawauso suggested. At this moment, Konan opened her door, "Alright you guys, keep it down."

They all stared at the woman, "Arashi's pregnant!" Konan stared at them wide-eyed. "WHAT? I didn't want her to go that far!"

"What do you mean?" Sasori questioned. "About three hours ago, I gave her some advice to help her with Hidan, but never mind that!" Konan banged on Pein's door.

"Uh, go away! I'm busy!" Pein called out. "PEIN!" Konan screeched. The pierced leader flung the door open, "WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT?"

"ARASHI'S PREGNANT!" The Akatsuki cried. Pein stared at them, "WHAT?" he roared.

-----

Pein paced the room. He had called the entire Akatsuki to his office to hold a meeting. Now each S-ranked criminal stood in his office. And each criminal stared at Arashi. And Arashi did not like the fact that criminals were staring at her. Kawauso's mouth hung open as he stared wide-eyed.

Her eye twitched. Pein sat down in his chair and faced his organization. "Okay everyone. I am here to talk to you about…" Leader took out a box and set it on the table, "Safe sex."

Arashi nearly screamed. SEX-ED. The leader of an organization intent on ruling the GOD DAMN WORLD is going to teach criminals about **safe sex?** Apparently he was. Pein held the box up and showed it to everyone, "Do you know what this is?"

Arashi mouth opened wide. Condoms. CONDOMS. OMG, CONDOMS?

"Condoms." Itachi had plainly answered the pierced man's question. Pein shot Arashi a glance and nodded, "Very good. Now then…" Pein reached under his desk…

And pulled out a banana. And then Arashi lost it. She grabbed the banana and smashed it under her foot, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LEADER?" Arashi roared.

"OH NO. THE MOOD SWINGS HAVE ALREADY STARTED!" Kawauso screamed. Arashi turned on him, "Mood swings? Mood swings! What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's true. Mood swings do happen with pregnancy," Sasori pointed out. Arashi grabbed the puppet by the collar, "YOU THINK I'M PREGNANT?" She shook him.

The other Akatsuki nodded. "Yeah, Hidan knocked you up, we know." Kisame shot a glance at the masochist. He was mortified. Arashi sighed and rubbed her temples, "No, I'm not pregnant," she explained, "I made it up to get Hidan mad and… apparently it worked." She glanced at Kakuzu's bruises, "Very well in fact. I told Hidan that Kakuzu got me pregnant and-"

"KAKUZU GOT YOU PREGNANT?" The Akatsuki asked in unison. "NO DAMMIT!" Arashi yelled. She rubbed her temples, "I'm not pregnant, never will be." Kawauso chuckled, "Yeah. Like you could handle a kid anyway." Arashi glared at her partner and grabbed Hidan's arm, "I'm out of here."

She led her boyfriend- one of them- down the hall and into his room. She locked the door behind her and plopped on the bed, "'Kay. Now tell me what's wrong." Hidan growled, "What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? I'll tell you what's f-cking wrong! You nearly gave me a f-cking _heart attack_! I thought that you were seriously f-cking pregnant! I thought that bastard Kakuzu knocked you up. What the hell, Arashi! Never f-cking do that again, bitch! Or I'll-"He stopped. Arashi had embraced him in a hug, and she was squeezing the air out of his lungs.

"Hidan! You're swearing again!" she cheered and nuzzled his chest. Hidan flushed slightly, "Uh…"

"I don't know. But when you woke up this morning, you were all…" Arashi sighed and hugged Hidan tighter, "Just don't ever do that again, asshole."

Hidan blinked, "Arashi… could you let me … breathe a little?" Arashi loosened her grip, "Sorry." She rested her head on his shoulder. Hidan ruffled Arashi's brown hair, "I didn't mean to scare the shit out of you and everything."

Arashi pressed her lips against his. Hidan's eyelids fluttered shut, and Arashi broke away with a smile, "Apology accepted."

-----

Arashi's brown eyes opened to the bright light filtering from her window. Sighing contently, Arashi sat up and got ready for the day. Kawauso wasn't in her room. Hmph. Like she cared.

Moments later, her hair was fixed and her teeth were brushed. Now she needed some breakfast. She walked out the door and nearly tripped over Kawauso. He looked up at her, "Mission."

Arashi groaned, "But we just got back!" Kawauso ignored her protests and led her down the hallway. He opened the door to Leader's office. Itachi, Kisame and… Zetsu were already there. Zetsu? Why Zetsu?

Pein yawned and took a swig of his coffee, "Good, good. You're all accounted for. Now Itachi, Kawauso and Kisame, you know your objectives. Head out." The trio nodded and made way for the door.

Wait. Then that meant that Arashi would… "Arashi, Zetsu. You two are going on a spy mission in the Land of blah blah blah blah blah blah." Arashi automatically began to tune out. She had been in Akatsuki long enough to know what no one listened to Leader.

Zetsu, huh. It will be like going on a mission with three people. Great, she was going to have to put up with Zetsu's multiple personalities. And watch him eat… She shivered. "Blah blah, important, blah blah, don't mess this up or I'll kill you. Blah blah. Are we clear?" Pein asked.

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah, sure."

"**Whatever.**"

"Yep."

"Alright."

"**CAN WE LEAVE NOW?**"

Pein sighed, "Yes, yes. Leave as soon as possible." The Akatsuki members nodded and left the office. Zetsu immediately went to his room to pack. Arashi grumbled to herself. Another mission in one day.

After hurriedly packing in her room and telling Zetsu she would be outside soon, she rushed to Deidara's door.

"Come in, hmm," Deidara said after she knocked. Arashi entered the room, "Mission." Deidara was lying on his back on his bed. He stared at her sadly, "Already, hmm?" She nodded solemnly.

Deidara looked back at the ceiling. Arashi sat down next to him, "Artist's block?" The sculptor shut his eyes and nodded. The medical Akatsuki grinned and kissed him on the cheek, "Make me a sculpture when I get back." Deidara opened his eyes and grinned, "I'll try, hmm. See ya."

Hidan. He said he was better, right? Well he didn't exactly say those words but…

She stopped in front of the door. But before she could knock, she heard him;

"No, _No_, **NO** DAMMIT!" She froze, but knocked anyway, "H-Hidan?" Her voice shook. No answer. Arashi cautiously turned the doorknob. Hidan was seated on the bed, as if nothing had happened.

With out a word, she sat next to him, "You… Okay?" Hidan stared at her, "What? Something wrong?" Arashi sighed, "Well. I have to go on a mission now. Thought I'd say goodbye." She placed her palm on Hidan's forehead, "You're warm. Are you sick? I can stay, you know."

Hidan removed her palm, "No, Arashi, go do your mission or whatever." Arashi stared at him with worried brown eyes. She kissed his sweaty forehead and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Hidan stared after her and clutched his rosary, "Dammit."

-----

"All set?"

"**Great, can we go now?**"

Arashi sighed and followed after the schizophrenic. It was silent as they walked down the mountain path. She was grateful for this. Zetsu was one of the members that Arashi had marked down to avoid. For obvious reasons. He has a plant on his head, for starters. Wonder if it bloomed in the spring…

"… **Where exactly are we going?**" One side of Zetsu asked.

"The Land of Snow. Weren't you paying attention?"

"**Pft. No. Why should I? Pein bores me.**"

THE LAND OF SNOW. IT'S FREAKING FREEZING THERE. OH GOD WHY!? And it's _so_ far away! Maybe if she flew there… Arashi glanced at Zetsu, who was fighting with himself over whether boxers or briefs were better. Okay, drop that idea. Suck it up, Arashi. Make yourself some chakra blubber and start shoveling!

"**BOXERS!**"

"BRIEFS!"

Arashi sighed. This is gonna be a long mission.

-----

It was a few days after Arashi had left. The Akatsuki members were busy stuffing themselves with food. Konan watched the boys, besides Pein, shove food down their throats. Oh my god, what was wrong with these people. And then suddenly she realized something and counted the members.

Itachi and Kisame were gone. Deidara was … using his palm-mouths to lick Sasori's food. Sasori took a bite of his food. … Ew. Moving on. Tobi was desperately trying to eat, but his food kept on getting splattered all over his mask. He asked Pein for help. Pein got annoyed and left. Okay, get Pein more Advil. Kakuzu was, of course, complaining about the high cost of food.

"We ought to be eating beans!" he complained. Yeah, no. Okay so Kawauso was with Kisame and Itachi. Zetsu and Arashi were out… Wait. Hidan. Where was Hidan?

"Has anyone seen Hidan?" Konan asked.

The criminals stopped whatever sick thing they were doing and looked around. "He isn't here?" Deidara asked. "Huh…" And then the blonde was stuffing his face with food again.

Konan groaned, "Okay, I'll look for him." She removed herself from the table and walked down the hall. Wait a moment. Was Hidan at lunch? Or breakfast? Was he even seen yesterday?

The blue-haired woman approached Hidan's room and knocked. No answer. Wait, it's probably some Jashin holiday. Fasting or something. He was probably sacrificing in his room. And Konan didn't exactly want to see that.

Satisfied, she left the hallway and made her way to Pein's office. He was probably having an "episode" again.

Inside of his room, Hidan groaned. He lay on his back in a puddle of his own blood. The Jashinist struggled to stand up. Pain tore through his body. He fell the floor with a thud. Surprising. He was in pain, yet he wasn't enjoying it.

-----

Three days. Three days with a crossbreed between a plant and an Oreo. A schizophrenic Oreo. Day and night they fought. Day and night, Arashi tried to keep her sanity intact.

And it wasn't even getting cold.

Dare she ask him if they could pick up the pace? Remember, Arashi, he's a cannibal. Arashi shivered, "Uh… Zetsu?"

The plant-man turned around, "**What?**" Wow. He actually listened to her. "Uh… Are we anywhere near the Land of Snow?"

"… **We're going to the Land of Snow? SHIT. We've been going the wrong way!**"

"WHAT? Now we'll have to turn around. It's going to take forever!"

"**Maybe if you told me I would have noticed!**"

And then of course, they started fighting. Arashi's eye twitched. "Okay, that's it." She transformed into the phoenix and grabbed Zetsu in her talons, "We're flying."

She took off, despite both side's protests.

-----

It took a lot less time flying. Soon enough, the air began to cool. And then it began to snow. Finally, the phoenix landed in snow covered mountains. The castle where they were to spy on was only a few miles away.

Zetsu shivered, "**Augh. I hate the cold.**" He pulled on an extra pair of clothes. Arashi was left in her weasel form, with only a scarf to keep her warm.

"The sooner we finish this, the sooner we get to go home," Zetsu pointed out. He began to walk towards the castle. Arashi sighed and followed him.

At least when she got home, things would be normal.


	13. Chapter 13

Arashi slinked by, invisible. Her acute weasel senses picked up key points of the conversation. She wrote them down in her mind's scroll and moved on to the next room.

They had been at it for hours. And actually, it was kinda fun. Arashi even got to steal some food and eat it. The best part was she could pick up any conversation. Serious ones, stupid ones… perverted ones.

Arashi clung to the ceiling and made her way to the hallway. A door was open just a crack. A crack large enough for her weasel form to squeeze through. She squirmed through the door…

… And entered the ladies' bathroom. Worse, someone was in there. Naked. Stifling a squeak, she exited the room and made her way to the next one. Wait a minute… She could have sworn she saw something else on the wall back there… Oh god. Zetsu.

No, no. Erase disturbing images from your mind, Arashi. Focus on the mission. Her ears perked up as another conversation was taken place in another room. And this one definitely had something to do with the Akatsuki.

"Are you sure they'll be able to do it?"

"Positive. These two have never failed any mission."

_They? Who's they?_ Arashi thought to herself. Her question was quickly answered.

"I want Tenshinhige and Sagegami here as soon as possible."

_THUD_

The two men who were having the conversation jumped to their feet.

"What was that?" one asked.

Arashi remained still. Dammit, why did she have to fall to the floor?

"Probably a rat."

Second time she was mistaken for a rat in a weasel form. Don't these people watch Animal Planet? Arashi decided that it was a good time to leave before she messed up again.

Great. Tenshinhige and Sagegami are after her and the Akatsuki. How much better could this get?

-----

Their mission had been completed; Zetsu and Arashi were leaving the castle grounds, Arashi in her normal form.

"Get anything good?" Zetsu asked. She nodded. _I think I'll keep this to myself. I better tell Iji._ "Can you wait here a sec? I gotta do something real quick." Arashi trudged through the snow until she was a good distance from Zetsu.

She put her fingers in her mouth and whistles. The sound echoed through the barren landscape. Arashi whipped out a scroll and wrote: **Trouble. Tenshinhige and Sagegami are after the Akatsuki. **She signed her name just as she saw something approaching.

A snowy owl landed in front of her, '_You called?_' Arashi nodded, rolled the scroll up, and handed it to the owl, "To Iji please." She gave him a quick description of him, and the bird was off.

The kunoichi made her way back to Zetsu. No surprise, he was arguing. … Over who gathered the most information. Weren't they the same person? Arashi grumbled to herself as she changed back to her phoenix form.

When they got back, she'll avoid Zetsu for as long as possible.

-----

Finally, they arrived at the base. Surprisingly, it was quiet. Arashi dropped Zetsu (she still didn't want that… thing on her back) and transformed back to her human form. Without a word, the cannibal entered the base. Hopefully to do the report, she was too lazy for that thing.

A squirrel scurried towards her and pulled on her pant leg. Arashi knelt down and pet its head. As she pulled out some food, more animals began to gather.

Arashi smiled to herself as they gobbled down the food she had made. It was almost like she wasn't in front of a base of evil S-ranked criminals who wanted to rule the world by gathering demons with multiple tails.

She eyed the squirrel. Wonder if there was like… a seven tailed squirrel or something. She pictured a giant squirrel foaming at the mouth.

Konan burst through the doors, interrupting Arashi's fantasy. The animals fled at the sudden noise. Arashi turned to greet her female friend with a toothy grin.

Her grin disappeared at the sight of Konan's face. "Ah, shit. What did I miss?" she asked. Konan grabbed her arm and pulled the medic to her feet. "Something's wrong with Hidan."

She narrowed her eyes and followed the origami artist into the base. "What's wrong with him?" she asked. "Something. He's in the infirmary." Arashi groaned, "Konan. What is wrong with Hidan?"

Konan stopped, causing Arashi to nearly run into her. "We don't know. He's just… You'll see." She opened the door.

The entire Akatsuki organization was crowded in the infirmary. "I brought Arashi," announced Konan. "Uh… Yeah. Could you all… Leave?" The Akatsuki immediately filed out of the room, Konan included. Deidara embraced Arashi in a quick hug before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

Arashi sighed. Hidan was immortal, and enjoyed pain. How bad could this possible b- "Oh my god," she whispered out loud.

Hidan was lying on his back on one of the infirmary beds. He was unconscious, and blood flowed steadily from the corners of his mouth. Arashi immediately rushed to his side. She placed her hand on his forehead. Arashi's eyes widened and pulled her hand back.

He was already warm when she left, but now he was _hot_. … In more ways then one. No, no! There was no time for that. Arashi pulled- or rather ripped- open the cabinet and grabbed her medical tools. (She was advised not to take them with her on her latest mission. Zetsu's anatomy was… Undefined.)

She took out the thermometer and stuck it in Hidan's mouth. She removed a cloth from her medical kit and ran it over cool water in the sink. Arashi mopped Hidan's brow with it and removed the thermometer.

"Shit," the medic hissed. _Okay, just a really, really bad fever. Nothing I can't handle._ It was reassuring that Hidan was immortal at least. Nothing bad could happen to him, right? Hidan coughed up more blood. Arashi glanced in his direction. Arashi knelt down and pressed her ear against Hidan's chest.

His heart was beating rapidly. Arashi lifted her head and stroked Hidan's cheek. The more time she spent with him, the less she truly believed that he would survive.

-----

(Hidan's mind)

"_I bet you wish that you had listened to me now, Hidan."_

_Hidan groaned. He doubled over, breathing heavily. He was kneeling down in the middle of a silver Jashin symbol that floated in endless space. Blood poured from his mouth. A single cloaked figure stood a few feet away from him._

"_Hidan, I am rather disappointed in you," the figure said._

"_You've already said that..." Hidan managed to say. Pain shot through his body. Hidan wrapped his arms around his stomach and coughed up more blood._

"_You will not talk back to me," the cloaked man said. Hidan stayed silent. Then again, it wasn't like he could say anything. "Now the. Hidan. I'll ask you this again, and you will answer."_

_He drew a long silver sword from his sleeve. One pale hand pulled the hood off of his head. Blood red hair flowed to the ground. "Why haven't you used the Fenikkusu?"_

_Hidan remained silent. The figure took a step forward. "Answer me." Hidan stared at the Jashin symbol. Louder now, "Answer me, Hidan." He took another step forward. A sharp pain embraced his side. He flinched. "ANSWER ME!" The man roared and lifted the sword above his head. "NOBODY DEFIES LORD JASHIN." The sword slashed downwards, aiming for Hidan's side…_

(Not in Hidan's mind)

Hidan lurched upwards and coughed. Arashi immediately snapped awake. It was dark out; she must have dozed off while watching Hidan. Hidan was sitting in an upwards position. Arashi immediately sat on the bed next to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders. The cloth the kunoichi had placed on his forehead had fallen off, and was on his lap.

Hidan gasped for air and rested his head on Arashi's shoulder. His heart was thundering in his chest, and his ribs ached. "Hidan," Arashi whispered. Hidan hacked up more blood and groaned.

Arashi wrapped her arms around Hidan's ribs and buried her face in his neck. The masochist flinched. Arashi immediately released her grip to find her hands bloody. The medical ninja frowned and moved to the other side of the bed. There she inspected the wound. Arashi placed her hands over the wound and pumped her chakra.

_How the hell did he get a wound from… a weapon?_ She thought to herself. She had already checked him for wounds before, and not a single puncture in sight. When the wound had closed up, Arashi began to wrap bandages around Hidan's torso.

She pushed the Jashinist so that he was lying in the bed again. Arashi ran the cloth in cool water once more and place it on Hidan's brow. "Hidan, can you tell me what's wrong?" Arashi asked quietly.

Hidan barely heard his question. His eyelids were beginning to droop. "… Heh. Wish …I knew." He mumbled. Arashi frowned, "What? Hidan I can't help you if…" Hidan had fallen asleep. … Again.

Arashi sighed and held her face in her hands. She leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling. There was a knock on her door. Arashi stifled a yawn and went to answer it. Deidara entered the infirmary, "I brought you dinner, hmm." He handed her a plate full of food. "Not hungry," she murmured and sat back in her chair.

Deidara set the plate down. "How is he, hmm?" He asked, stealing a glance at Hidan. Arashi groaned, "I don't know. He woke up not too long ago, and he was all coughing up blood. And bleeding from the wound on his side. But I have no idea where the hell it came from."

Deidara pulled Arashi off of the chair and onto the bed next to Hidan. He embraced her in a hug. Arashi sighed and rested her head in the crook of Deidara's neck. There was a moment of silent. Arashi could hear Hidan's ragged breathing. She gripped Deidara tighter, "Tell me something."

The sculptor blinked, "I… made a sculpture, hmm?" Arashi leaned forward to look him in the eyes, "Really?" Deidara blushed slightly, "Uh… yeah, hmm." Arashi smiled, "What's it of?" Deidara's face grew redder and he looked away, "Uh… A phoenix… hmm."

Arashi hugged Deidara even tighter until she was choking him, "Aw, that's so sweet!" Deidara gasped for air, "…Yeah…hmm…" Arashi released him, "You can go now." Deidara rubbed the back of his head, "You sure, hmm? I can stay if you need anything." Arashi kissed his cheek, "No, you have better things to do. Go." With that, she pushed him out the doorway.

Truthfully, Deidara had forgotten about the whole sculpture thing. And now he told Arashi he made one. Curse her cute looks. Deidara wandered to his room to start working on his sculpture.

Arashi returned to her seat. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the bed. The kunoichi stared at Hidan, watching his chest rise and fall. Hidan grunted and hacked up more blood. Arashi held her head in her hands, listening to Hidan's coughs.

(And we now return to the emoness of Hidan's mind)

_Jashin stared as Hidan lay on the ground, panting. "Hopefully you will be quiet long enough to listen to me." He began to pace back and forth. "You understand the power that the Fenikkusu hold, correct?" Hidan turned his head so that he was facing his god._

"_Well, the Fenikkusu are idiots. They refuse to use their power. So, Hidan. You have charmed one, haven't you?" Hidan remained silent, his shaky breaths echoed in the blank space. "Indeed you have. So why is it, Hidan…" He stopped to face his follower. "That you haven't used her to slaughter your enemies?" The silver haired man glared at Jashin, "You wouldn't underst-"_

(Now we return to the emoness of the outside world)

This time, Arashi was wide awake as soon as Hidan's eyes snapped open. He coughed up blood, more and more of it began to pour out of his mouth. Arashi was at his side in an instant. She held him close as he gasped for air. The wound on his side ripped open. Blood flowed at a steady rate, soaking the bandages crimson. Hidan winced and laid still, the pain so intense that he didn't want to move.

Arashi stroked Hidan's hair, desperately trying to get him to calm down. And then she noticed the flesh on Hidan's chest began to slowly peel open. That cursed red liquid began to gush until a full wound was on Hidan's chest. Hidan gasped and jerked out of Arashi's grip. He held a hand his bleeding chest and gritted his teeth together.

Arashi placed her hand on top of Hidan's, "Hidan, move. I can heal this." The masochist's lips parted and let out a feeble cry. Arashi cringed at the sound and gentle pushed Hidan's hand out of the way. She covered the wound with her own hand, preparing to heal it with her chakra. The medic paused. Beneath her blood soaked fingertips, Arashi felt a pulse. Something had struck Hidan straight in the heart. Hidan managed a weak grin before falling limp again.

Arashi laid him down on the bed and began to patch the wound.

(Back to Hidan's mind for more emo action!)

_Hidan stared back at Jashin with equal intensity. There was a sword through Hidan's chest. Jashin yanked the sword out without prying his eyes off of the Akatsuki member. Hidan didn't even flinch._

"_So, Hidan, why is it that I wouldn't understand?" Hidan chuckled, "You're not human. I don't believe you have any f-cking emotions, seriously." Jashin raised his sword, but paused before bringing it down. "The Fenikkusu's healing you again."_

_Hidan growled slightly, "Her name's Arashi." Jashin narrowed his eyes and stomped a foot onto Hidan's torso. There was a sickening snap that echoed through the barren space._

"_Well, I can't let the __**Fenikkusu**__ be tiring herself out to save you. I think I'll deal with her later." Hidan's eyes widened at his lord's comment, "Don't you f-cking touch her, bastard, or I'll-" Jashin's piercing gaze silenced him._

_Yeah, he was immortal. Nothing could kill him. But then again, he was facing the guy her gave him his immortality in the first place._

(Now to the outside world! Boy, this chapter is real emo.)

Arashi blinked and forced her chakra out at a higher intensity. The wound through Hidan's heart remained closed. Frustrated now, Arashi's tattoo glowed silver and hot on her shoulder. Her arms sparkled silver for just a second as Arashi gave her chakra and extra push.

Then a black energy pushed back. It engulfed Arashi and electrocuted her just for a second, but long enough so that her healing chakra faded. The black energy grew smaller and smaller until it disappeared.

Arashi panted, sweat beaded on her forehead. "Ugh, how much more messed up can my life get?" She stole a glance at the clock. Ew… 2 in the morning… Arashi wrapped bandages around Hidan's chest wound. It would probably be best not to try to close the wound with her chakra. Maybe the energy would backfire and hurt Hidan instead.

Arashi curled up in the bed next to Hidan, waiting for sleep to overcome her. And of course, it remained out of her reach. Too many thoughts buzzed around in her head. What was that energy? And how were weapons injuring Hidan? For a split second, she thought about a ghost. The idea was wiped for her mind instantly. What a stupid thought, but then again, this whole crisis was stupid itself. A single question screamed in her ear the loudest. What was wrong with Hidan?

Over and over again, the question raced around in her mind. She groaned, trying to shove it back along with all the other unwanted thoughts. But it always managed to push through, teasing her. Until she found the answer.

Something was tearing up Hidan from the inside out. Poison, probably, and a strong one. She shouldn't risk her snake form, too dangerous. Luckily, she could easily perform a technique that could heal Hidan very easily.

All she needed was Kawauso. Heh, simple. He was snoring in the other room. Arashi began to get out of bed when she realized it.

Kawauso wasn't coming back for a long time. And looking at Hidan, she guessed she didn't have a long time to wait.

----

Emo chapter is emo. Yeah, that's why I had the crack thing earlier. Don't be sad, it is chapter 13, after all. Unlucky chapter, oooh.

To make you all feel better, here is a picture of Sasuke in a fluffy pink bunny outfit picking daisies.


	14. Chapter 14

"_How much longer, Leader?"_

"_I don't know. A week, maybe."_

"_A week?! I can't wait that long!"_

"_You have to, now shoo."_

That was the last conversation she had. With Leader. And now she was sitting on her chair, her arms crossed on top of Hidan's bed. She rested her chin on top of her arms and stared.

She was so bored. Every now and then, Arashi would think about leaving. Only for a little bit, maybe. But then she would glance at Hidan and change her mind. And then a few minutes later, she realized she could have left. She repeated the process over and over until she was bored out of her mind.

"Oh come on, Hidan. Wake up at least?" the medical ninja pleaded. Of course, he remained silent. Arashi settled for poking Hidan in the forehead. His fever had gone down, and finally disappeared. And yet, he was no better.

Sure, he hadn't woken up and started hacking up rivers of blood. But Arashi could sense that Hidan was not better, and far from it. The wounds from an unknown source had begun to close.

How long has it been now? She had about a week to wait for Kawauso to return. So many times Arashi had wished he would go away. And now her wish had come true. Bad timing.

Arashi stopped poking Hidan and yawned. Her eyelids were beginning to get heavy since she didn't sleep a lot yesterday. How could everything go downhill so quickly in one day? Nothing would happen if she slept for a few minutes… or hours. Maybe just a little nap…

"… Arashi?" Wow. That was quick. Arashi was already dreaming, and someone was calling her name. Sounded like Hidan. Weird. She was dreaming that Hidan was awake.

"Arashi." Hm. This pillow was warm. Arashi unconscious snuggled deeper into the pillow. The voice echoed through her head again, angry now, "Woman, get off of me."

"No."

"Arashi, I'm serious."

Arashi snapped her eyes opened and glared, "No. I'm tired." She laid her head on the warm pillow again.

Hidan sighed with Arashi on his chest, "This is seriously uncomfortable."

"Shut up," Arashi growled. And then she realized she wasn't dreaming. She opened her eyes and snapped her head up, "Hidan?"

Hidan rolled his eyes, "Duh." Before he could say another word, Arashi embraced him in a hug. Hidan chuckled, "Arashi has anyone taught you about f-cking personal space?" Arashi hugged Hidan tighter, "You swore! I never thought I'd be this happy to hear you swear!"

Hidan chuckled and returned the hug. Arashi let go of Hidan and curled up in his lap. The Jashinist rubbed the back of her head as she leaned against his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Arashi spoke up.

"Hidan, what happened? Are you better now?" Hidan didn't answer this question. He pressed his face into her brown hair. Arashi sighed but stayed quiet and settled for listening to the beating of Hidan's heart.

Hidan closed his eyes, trying desperately to take in the moment. He paid attention to all the tiny details he knew he was going to miss. "Mm. Arashi you smell nice," Hidan mumbled.

Arashi blinked, "Hidan… That's sort of creepy." Hidan ignored her and hugged her tighter. Arashi didn't protest, but nuzzled him affectionately. Hidan took a deep breath and forced himself to push Arashi away. "Why don't you get something to eat?"

Arashi stared at him before replying a meek 'okay' and pressing her lips to Hidan's. Hidan returned the kiss and held her tightly. Tightly enough so that Arashi couldn't let go. When he finally did release her, the kunoichi stared at her boyfriend, "You okay?"

Hidan nodded and pushed her away. Arashi walked towards the door, "You sure?" Hidan sighed, "Yes I'm sure. Seriously, you're such f-cking annoying bitch." Arashi smiled and left the room.

Hidan lay back down on the bed. _I'll give you a little time to speak to her_, Jashin had said, _Say goodbye, and then we'll begin. _"Ugh. I'm too f-cking pathetic to even say goodbye." Hidan slapped himself in the forehead. He shut his eyes and instantly began to slip from consciousness.

He broke out in a wide grin, "Kill me, Jashin. Maybe I'll get a kick out of it." And then Hidan lost consciousness.

"_You disappoint me Hidan," Jashin said. "You really could have gone far in life if you had listened to me."_

_Hidan smirked at the god, "Hey, man. What can I say? I'm in love." Jashin narrowed his eyes at this. "Love. You have no time for love, Hidan. But you already knew that. You lost your chance. So I'm afraid that…" he pulled out the long sword once again _(did anyone else reading this get that line out of context? Because I sure did) _"I am afraid that I must annihilate you." Hidan chuckled, "Go ahead. I've always wondered what it would feel like… To die." Jashin said nothing as he charged at Hidan, the slender sword gleaming in the eerie light._

At that moment, Arashi walked in. Full at last and cheery, eager to see Hidan awake and waiting for her. Except he was neither awake nor waiting for her. Sleeping. Again.

Arashi sighed. _Oh well. He was tired anyway, and needed some sleep. _She bent down and kissed Hidan's forehead before leaving the infirmary. She grabbed a food bag from her room and raced outside.

Immediately, she was greeted by a number of woodland animals. Each of them was anxious to know why she'd stayed inside the whole day. Arashi simply said "I don't wanna talk about it."

After the food was gone (in less than one minute), Arashi decided to head back to the base. Waving goodbye to the animals, she ran back inside and to the room where Hidan was sleeping.

She opened the door to the infirmary to find Hidan lying on the bed, groaning. Arashi sighed. Should have expected this. Arashi rushed to his side and began tending to Hidan… again.

-----

Seven days. Seven freaking days of pure hell. Seven days of no sleep and Arashi prying herself from Hidan's side to get something to eat. Seven days of frustration and the occasional banging of her head against the wall.

"Wait a minute…" Arashi said as she poured a dose of medicine down Hidan's throat. Seven days is equal to one week, right? So that means… Kawauso will be coming back. And that means that she could heal Hidan!

Her enthusiasm returning, Arashi embraced Hidan in a quick hug. "Hidan, Kawauso's coming!"

"Ugh…"

"I know, isn't this great news?" Arashi then realized that she probably shouldn't be hugging Hidan at the moment. "Oh uh… Sorry." She set him down, "Be right back."

When she left the infirmary, the first person she saw down the hall was none other than Deidara. "Deidara!" she squealed. The artist blinked and turned around. Arashi tackled him to the ground. She brought her face closer to his and smirked. "My, my, this is awkward."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Why are you on top of me, hmm?" Arashi's grin stretched wider, "You wanna be on top?" Deidara's eye twitched and he pushed her off of him. "Why are you so cheery suddenly, hmm? Are you-"Arashi turned serious again, "I know what you are about to say, and the answer is no, I am not having 'feminine problems.'"

Deidara sighed and stood up, "So what gives then, hmm?" Arashi hopped upwards as well, "Kawauso's coming back soon. And then he can help me heal Hidan! I need to ask Leader if they've arrived yet." With that, she left, leaving Deidara with his thoughts. "… That girl is insane, hmm."

Pein was staring at the microwave in the kitchen, watching the numbers count down. The machine made a low purring sound as it cooked hot pockets inside.

"SIR LEADER!"

Pein sighed at the voice. "Yes, Arashi?" He asked threw gritted teeth. "Are Itachi and Kisame back with Kawauso?" The leader sighed, "I don't know. I'm not in charge of what happens here."

"Yes you are."

"… Arashi, you can go now." A scent of smoke filled the air. Pein narrowed his eyes, "Did Deidara blow something up again?"

Arashi glanced at the microwave, "Uh. Your hot pockets are burning."

"DAMN IT!"

Arashi decided to leave the room so that Pein wouldn't snap in front of her. Now then, if Kawauso were back… Where would he be…? Arashi instinctively checked her room. And of course, Kawauso was lying on the bed and devouring fish.

"ACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Arashi screeched. Kawauso whirled around, "ARASHI! CAN'T YOU KNOCK?"

"Why are you eating god forsaken **meat**?"

"Because I'm a carnivore!"

"How many time do I have to- Argh, never mind. Kawauso, come with me now. She grabbed her partner's paw and dragged him through the door that led to the infirmary. "Why are you bringing me here? What's so important- HOLY SHIT."

Kawauso, being the stupid otter he is, immediately began prodding Hidan. The Jashinist groaned and moved away from his touch. "Kawauso, stop." Kawauso looked at Arashi, and instantly realized that this situation was serious. "Well uh… What's wrong with him?" Kawauso asked.

Arashi sighed, sitting down on the bed, next to Hidan. "I'm not sure, actually. But I think something's tearing him from the inside out. Poison, maybe, but an extremely powerful one. If I try to extract it using the snake… well I don't think he would be able to handle it." Kawauso glanced at the injured ninja again, "Yeah. Neither do I. So, do you propose that we use the water technique?" The otter made a face when Arashi nodded. "Augh. I hate that."

Arashi glared at him, "It's the only thing we can do." She pulled the covers off of Hidan, exposing his naked chest. Kawauso's eye twitched, feeling uncomfortable in an instant. "Woah, woah. You're not gonna get all romantic right?" Arashi growled at him, "Just shut up and get over here."

Kawauso shivered, "Where do I start?" Arashi gestured to a wound on Hidan's side. She began to remove the bandages. Kawauso sighed and water began leaking from his azure fur. He shaped it into a liquid sphere and glanced at his partner. Arashi nodded, and he began.

(You should know what the italics mean by now.)

"_So, Hidan. How does it feel?" Jashin asked while watching his follower with mild amusement. Hidan gasped and sucked in air. "N…Not that great…actually." The silver haired man replied. Jashin chuckled, "I truly wish I could speed this up, but watching you writhe in pain is too…satisfying."_

_Hidan winced as more blood flowed from the countless wounds he had. Suddenly, the pain subsided. It was as if a cool sponge had been placed over his wound absorbed the pain from his body. Hidan sighed contently and shut his tired eyes. "WHAT?" Jashin roared, "What is going on?"_

"Okay, move to this one," Arashi told Kawauso and pointed at Hidan's chest. Kawauso carefully extracted the water from Hidan's wound and let it fall in a bucket. He conjured up clean liquid and set his paws over the Jashinist's chest wound. The water gently seeped through his skin, and Arashi placed her hands directly on the injury. She watched as Hidan's face relaxed. "It's working," she stated and began to heal him with her chakra.

Kawauso glanced at their patient for a second before returning his attention to the wound. They were silent as the flesh slowly started knitting back together. "Hey, Kawauso." The otter looked up at Arashi. She flashed him a smile, "Thanks." Kawauso grinned and got back to work.

"_Grr… I can't let this happen!"_

"'Kay. We're done here," Arashi announced. They moved onto the next wound that had appeared during Arashi's seven day wait.

"_Impossible. Hidan has already been judged…"_

Slowly the next wound began to close up. They moved on to the next one.

"_And nobody…"_

Arashi smiled to herself. It was actually working. Maybe soon things would be back to normal. If her life was normal, that is.

"_Nobody defies Lord Jashin's judgment!"_

For a second, Arashi had thought that Hidan had pulled through. That she and Kawauso's teamwork had healed him. But then…

Hidan's rosary broke. The quiet sound was enough to make both Kawauso and Arashi jump after the long silence. It just snapped and fell off of his neck, the beads scattering every which way.

Arashi heavily believed in omens. And this was indeed an omen. "…Kawauso… You can go now," she whispered. Kawauso was about to protest, but decided against it and left the room quietly.

Arashi sat on the bed with her knees next to Hidan's side. She stroked Hidan's forehead. "Hidan…?" Arashi whispered. The kunoichi repeated his name and buried her face in his bare chest.

And then, of course, Hidan hacked up blood. Arashi tightly shut her eyes, gripping his arms tightly. She waited for the coughing to stop. And, of course, it didn't. The Fenikkusu lifted her head and shook Hidan lightly.

"Come on, wake up, dammit."

The purple eyes slowly blinked open to meet Arashi's worried face. "Hidan," she said sternly, "What's wrong with you." Hidan stared at her blankly before chuckling quietly. Blood dripped steadily from the corner of his mouth.

"…heh. Sorry…Arashi…chan. J-"he cringed, "Jashin… doesn't w- ugh… want me to… be with you." She stared blankly at him, "What? Why? How's he doing this? But aren't you immortal?"

Hidan lazily blinked at her flood of questions. "Oh… trust me…" he chuckled, "Jashin… has his…" Hidan's voice faltered as he winced in pain and coughed more blood. Arashi stroked Hidan's hair, "Don't talk." The masochist shut his eyes with a long sigh.

Arashi laid her head on his chest again, listening to his shaky breathing. "… Hidan…?" She hated how weak her voice sounded, "Are you… going to be okay?"

Hidan grabbed her face in his hands and pulled her upwards until they met eye to eye. He pressed his lips against hers, stroking her brown locks softly. Finally, he pulled away with a serious expression on his face. And he gave her a simple answer:

"No."

"What? Hidan! Are you going to…? H-Hidan?" No answer. She lifted her head to look at Hidan. His eyes were blinking shut. "…sorry," he murmured. He was silent.

Arashi stared at him, poked him in the forehead, and continued staring. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him, "Hidan, you can't die! You're freaking immortal! Oh my God… Jashin! Whatever! Come on, Hidan, don't give up yet… Hidan?"

She was silent for awhile. _Nope. I'm not gonna cry this time. I'm a full grown woman, and women are strong! _Arashi thought to herself. A few seconds later…

"… Screw it. I'm gonna bawl my eyes out." She got off the bed and pulled the covers over Hidan's body. "... Crying outside." Without another word, she left the infirmary and then the Akatsuki base.

She walked down the winding mountain path and entered the forest. The sky over head was dark gray. "Oh great! Rain!" Arashi shouted at the sky, "Perfect for the mood!" A single raindrop splattered on her forehead and rolled down her cheek. Well, at least it wouldn't _seem _like she was crying.

So she sat down in the forest and cried. And the skies above cried as well. Although, because of her horrible mood, Arashi thought it felt more like the heavens were mocking her.

She lifted her head to the gloomy sky and watched the rain fall and splash herself and the forest around her. For some reason, rain always seemed to calm her. The cold that was beginning to take over her body felt eerily comforting. She hugged her knees and sobbed some more while listening to the patter of raindrops.

But then they stopped. Arashi glanced up to see something held above her head. Deidara was behind her, holding his Akatsuki cloak above her shivering body. Arashi sniffled and wiped some "raindrops" (tears) from her cheek as the artist sat down next to her, placing his cloak on her shoulders.

"… How long have I been here?"

"About an hour… hmm."

An hour? But it only seemed like five minutes! Deidara hugged her tightly to his chest, "You're freezing."

"I know," Arashi replied. Deidara sighed and stroked her forehead. "Did… Kawauso tell you?" she asked him.

"He said that you were having an "emotional breakdown," hmm."

"Heh. Seems like he knows me well," Arashi mumbled. They were silent then, Arashi leaning against his chest as the rain continued to fall. He was so silent that she would have forgotten he was there if she couldn't feel the rise and fall of his chest.

"How're you feeling, hmm?" he asked. Arashi was silent and then she stood up. "I don't know. Confused I guess. Sure I'm all sad and stuff. But now…" she felt the familiar boiling warmth take over her body. The winged tattoo, previously a gloomy blue, now flashed bright silver. "Now I feel like punching the shit out of something."

Arashi punched the nearest object, something soft. She let out a contented sigh, "Whew. I feel better n- … Whoops." Deidara as kneeling on the ground, clutching his stomach. "Eheh. Sorry. I was just… Uh. You okay?" She knelt next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"…Ouch… Yeah," he took a deep breath, "I'm okay, hmm." He started to stand up, but clutched his head and sat back down, "Ow. I feel dizzy, hmm…" Arashi sweatdropped, "Are you gonna throw up?" Deidara shook his head, "Maybe you should go for a walk, hmm…"

Arashi smiled nervously and stood back up, "Uh, yeah… That's a good idea… Here, have your cloak back." She tossed him his clothing and started walking deeper into the forest. She glanced back at Deidara who was going in the opposite direction, arms still crossed around his stomach and his cloak draped on his shoulders. She released a shaky sigh and continued her walk.

As the pitter patter of rain continued, Arashi's mind slowly shut down until she was merely walking. Not going anywhere, with nowhere to go. It was as simple as that. A tiny part of her told her to go back, to suck it up and move on. She was a ninja. Even better, a female ninja. Women are strong, so go back. That's what the voice told her.

Go back where? Even if she went back, he'd still be there. Dead. So the tiny voice agreed with her, and she moved on. A single kunoichi surrounded by the silent trees of the forest and cascading raindrops of pity.

A single hawk fluttered its way towards her. On its leg was a scroll, which it took off and placed it in Arashi's outstretched hands. The bird flew off immediately. Leaning against a tree to keep it from getting wet, Arashi opened the scroll and read it. **Oh boy… Meet me at the forest. **It was from Iji. Why would he send a scroll to her telling her to meet her at 'the forest?' The forest was a place in the Fire Country which they always met when Arashi was still travelling. … Wait. She'd forgotten. Tenshinhige and Sagegami were coming after the Akatsuki, and she had sent a scroll informing Iji. Oh well. Who cares if they kill her? She was already dead.

She continued to walk until the trees shied away from her, and she arrived in a clearing. The forest continued on the other side, she would go there. So she made her way through the empty meadow. Arashi started dragging her legs until she finally collapsed in the dead center. What was the point? She didn't have anywhere to go, and nowhere to go back to. Might as well sit here and do what she came to do. Arashi pulled her knees to her chest and cried her eyes out.

"… _Hidan?" The man with purple eyes turned to his lord. Jashin stood next to Hidan, with his back turned to him. His blood red hair lightly brushed Hidan's cheek as the Jashinist lay on his back in the center of the Jashin symbol. "Explain the emotion of… love to me. I can only experience hatred and rage… And greed and all the rest of the bad stuff. I want to know what this love is."_

_Hidan chuckled. Despite his outside appearance, he was able to speak through his mind just fine. "Like I said… Or rather tried to say. I don't think you'd understand." Jashin pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to face Hidan. He knelt down beside his follower. "What happens…? When you're in love."_

_Hidan smirked, "It's like the strongest emotion. Hormones and all that shit. It's even more powerful than hatred." Jashin immediately became alert. Hidan looked away from the god and stared straight upwards. "It's like you wanna be with them forever. You don't want some blonde dumbass with a speech problem stealing them from you. You don't want them to die; you don't wanna be separated from them. … You know."_

"_No, I don't," Jashin replied. Hidan smiled at this and continued, "Well, it's just like whenever I see her… my heart starts pounding and I get butterflies in my stomach." Jashin stared into his eyes, "You have insects in your digestive system?" Hidan returned the look with a harsh glare, "I can't help but feel sorry for leaving her and all. I'm such an asshole. I didn't even say goodbye. She probably feels all sad and shit…" he stopped there, lost in his thoughts._

_Jashin was silent as well for awhile. Until he spoke up. "Yeah…" he said, "She probably does feel sad…"_

Arashi was beginning to feel numb. The rain never seemed to stop. So much for pity rain. The rain felt like tiny pricks of icy pain on her skin. But she didn't care.

She should probably head back to the base now… Oh who cares? They're probably starting to worry about her. Who the hell gives a shit about what they think. Who cares about anything? Why couldn't the world just leave her the hell alone?!

A spark of energy surged through her body. She moved a fist to punch the ground angrily. But her fingers wouldn't move. She shakily held her hand in front of her face. Arashi's skin was pale white, and her fingers were frozen in place. The kunoichi dropped her hand back down. Good, maybe she'll freeze to death.

Exhaustion took over her body. Still sniffling, Arashi collapsed in the drenched clearing with her tears' paths fresh on her face. The cruel, cruel world turned black as she slipped out of consciousness.

-----

"Aw man, Arashi. Why'd you do this to yourself? …. Well whatever. Come on."

If she were conscious, Arashi would have felt someone lift her onto their shoulders and carry her back to the Akatsuki base.

"Geez, you're cold. You can't take care of yourself, can you?"

If she were conscious, Arashi would have felt the rain come to a halt as she entered a building, but she wasn't conscious.

"There, that's better. Now stay here, okay?"

She would have felt someone place her on a bed. But she isn't conscious. Aren't you paying attention? Arashi felt warmth encase her shivering body as her senses slowly starting coming back to life. Something warm was next to her and she felt the familiar warm pillow.

Arashi automatically moved towards that warmth and laid her head on the pillow. The object brought her closer to itself and wrapped her in its warmth. There was a comforting sound coming from the pillow- a heartbeat. Arashi sighed contently and drifted off to sleep.

-----

Arashi awoke with someone next to her. For a second, she thought it was him. But it obviously wasn't. It was Deidara. Arashi groaned and tried to sit up, but she was too tired to do so.

"So, you're awake." Arashi ignored Deidara, but snuggled deeper into his chest. Then she realized that Deidara didn't say 'hmm' after his sentence. Her eyes snapped open to look at the person she was lying in bed with.

"You should feel honored," Hidan said with a triumphant smirk on his face, "You're the first girl I've ever slept with."

-----

This took awhile. x-x I realized how short most of the chapters were, so I decided to make it a bit longer. But it was taking foreevveeer. So here you go. Enjoy and please don't kill me.


	15. Chapter 15

At first, she was going to scream and give him a giant hug. And then she realized what he had done to her.

"W-What?! HIDAN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" He was shirtless, and Arashi's cloak was missing. He was still wearing pants at least, but he could have very easily put them back on after… Ugh.

Hidan stared at her, "Woah, woah. I did not do anything. Seriously, Arashi. Would I really do something like that?"

Arashi stared back. Hidan smiled nervously and rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, I probably would. But that's not the point. I mean, I'm alive, right?"

"… Wait. This isn't a dream? YOU'RE ALIVE!?" Hidan rolled his eyes, "Uh, yeah. It's not like I'm- oof!" The next instant, Hidan was on the ground with Arashi on top of him. The sheets wrapped around Arashi's entire body while draping around Hidan's pants as well.

And at that moment, what better time for Tobi to drop in? The masked ninja stared at the scene for a moment. Arashi stopped hugging Hidan just long enough to turn to face Tobi. And then he left the room.

"LEADER-SAN! Hidan and Arashi are naked!" Tobi called and fled the room. "Agh! Tobi, no!" Arashi cried after him she dropped the sheet and got off of Hidan. "No wait," the Jashinist protested, "Make it seem like nothing happened!"

"WELL HOW DO I DO THAT?"

Meanwhile… "Tobi swears, Deidara-sempai! They "did it" as Kawauso-kun says. Tobi is a good boy and doesn't lie!" Deidara sighed, "Tobi. We've already been through all of this, hmm."

"Actually it was Kakuzu last time," Kisame pointed out. The stitched miser shot the shark man a glare. Tobi, with the entire Akatsuki in tow, ripped the door to Hidan's room open to find Arashi and Hidan… Coloring on separate papers.

Kawauso stared at the scene, then snatched both papers and examined them. "I see, drawing each other naked, eh? … Wait… Arashi, why did you draw a sun… with a happy face?" Arashi shrugged, "I feel happy." Kawauso blinked at the next picture. "Hidan… You drew… A unicorn."

"A unicorn sacrificing people to Jashin!" Hidan clarified. Kisame snatched the picture from Kawauso and stared at it. His face grew pale (would that make his skin a lighter blue?), "Uh… Can unicorns even become Jashinists?"

Hidan shrugged, "As long as they're not pink or something stupid like that." Kakuzu ripped the papers from Kisame's hands and ripped them up. "Now, can we all leave? I'm doing taxes."

The rest of the Akatsuki filed out of the room, leaving Hidan and Arashi alone. Hidan sighed, "Thank Jashin that shit's over." Arashi grabbed Hidan's arm and pulled him onto the bed, "Now then. Mind telling me what happened?"

Hidan blinked, "Well uh. Jashin got mad at me because I wasn't using you correctly and all that shitty stuff." Arashi looked away from Hidan. "Using me? What do you mean?" Realizing that she was hurt, Hidan pulled Arashi closer to him. "I'm supposed to use you to kill more people. But seriously, I'll never do anything so f-cking stupid." Arashi grinned at Hidan, "Go on."

"Well, when Jashin got mad, he started ripping me apart from the inside out. Torturing the shit out of me, basically. When I refused to use you "correctly", he temporarily took away my immortality."

Arashi rested her head on his shoulder. "Is that when your necklace broke?" Hidan nodded and continued, "So then basically, I started dying from the wounds he gave me. So then he asked me what love is."

(WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME. DON'T HURT ME. NO MORE. Yes, that was needed.)

Arashi blinked, "Why?" Hidan shrugged, "Jashin doesn't really have any emotions besides the shitty mean ones. So when I told him about love, he gave me back my immortality and ordered me to go find you. He said he wasn't going to bother me until I do something stupid."

Arashi smirked, "Which would most likely be very soon." Hidan glared at her, but Arashi just smiled and embraced Hidan in another rib-crushing hug. The Jashinist sighed, "Are you going to let go of me anytime soon?" Several cracks were heard as Arashi gripped him tighter.

-----

"Arashi. I have to pee. Let go."

"No."

"I don't think I can hold it any f-cking longer! Seriously, get off of me!"

Arashi sighed and released Hidan, who dashed into the restroom. Moments later, Hidan exited the room to find Arashi clinging onto him once again. He groaned, "Arashi, you're heavy. Let the hell go." The Fenikkusu growled dangerously, "Did you just call me fat?" Hidan blinked, "Uh… no? No! Of course not… You can cling to me all day. Seriously, it won't bother me or anything." Arashi grinned, "Glad you see it my way."

Hidan grumbled to himself and made his way to Sasori's room. Without knocking, of course, he opened the door and waddled inside (It's hard to walk with Arashi clinging onto you).

Sasori was working on his puppets. He angrily glared at Hidan when he burst into his room. "What the hell do you want?" The masochist ignored him and grabbed a crowbar off of Sasori's desk. With that, he left the room and slammed the door shut.

Once in the hallway, Hidan shoved the crowbar between himself and Arashi and attempted to pry her off of him. Instantly, the crowbar was snatched out of his hands. Arashi knocked Hidan to the ground, holding the crowbar above her head.

Hidan sweatdropped. Arashi's face stretched into a sadistic grin. "Uh. Arashi, we don't have to get violent or anything! Put the crowbar down…please." Hidan shakily got to his feet. The crowbar fell to the ground as Arashi pounced on Hidan. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Hidan sighed as Arashi snuggled into his chest.

"Do you have any idea how f-cking stupid I look?" Hidan growled as he walked to the kitchen. Arashi giggled, "You always look stupid."

He rolled his eyes at this. "Well can you at least let go so I can f-cking have lunch?" Arashi dropped off of Hidan, landing on the floor. "Lunch? How long have I been out?" The silver haired man shrugged, "Dunno. You slept through breakfast, and I had to miss it so I could watch you. You should be grateful, bitch."

Arashi caught Hidan in another hug, "Aw, that's so sweet!"

"I'm going to be eating soon," Hidan reminded her, and she let go. "You hungry?" he added. She shook her head. "You should probably go see Deidara. He hasn't really seen you lately," he suggested.

Meanwhile, Deidara was in his room, putting the final touches on a sculpture he was creating. And then Arashi burst into his room and tackled him to the floor. The sculpture, which was explosive, toppled out of the artist's hands.

"Agh! Don't let that fall, hmm!" Deidara cried. Arashi screamed and reached for the artwork. It slipped from her fingertips and flew across the room. Deidara was on his feet in an instant and caught the sculpture in his arms. However, Arashi was going after said sculpture. She crashed into him and the sculpture went flying. Arashi made a dive for it at the same time Deidara did.

The next second, Arashi grabbed the clay structure and Deidara grabbed it at the same time. He just so happened to be on top of Arashi. A blush crept to both of their faces. Arashi giggled, "How many awkward moments are I going to have in one day?" Deidara laughed as well and placed the sculpture on his desk.

He helped Arashi to her feet and locked their lips. He pulled her closer and buried his face in her brown hair. "I'm sorry, hmm." Arashi glanced up at him, "Why? For what?" Deidara sighed, "If I had stayed, you probably wouldn't have come back freezing, hmm." Arashi rolled her eyes, "Dei, I punched you. I scare a lot of people off, trust me."

For some reason, he couldn't object to that.

After the Hidan incident, everything calmed down and the Akatsuki moved on. There were, of course, occasional awkward moments, numerous people scarred for life, and many "accidents".

But in the weeks that followed, Deidara and Hidan began competing over Arashi. Again. The base has exploded more often that normal and Kakuzu has given the Akatsuki several lectures about the organization's money. And as usual, no one paid attention to Kakuzu.

And when Deidara and Hidan weren't fighting with each other, they'd take out there anger on some innocent bystander a.k.a Tobi. Poor Tobi was constantly being blown up by Deidara or maimed by Hidan. Or both at the same time. And that left Arashi to clean up the mess before Zetsu decided to eat Tobi.

Kisame and Itachi had just returned from their latest mission. "Whew, glad that's over. Aren't you Itachi-san?" Kisame said as he leaned against the wall outside his room. "Hn" was Itachi's reply. "… Are you even tired?" The Uchiha answered: "Hn." Kisame was beginning to get irritated, "Is that a yes or a no?" And Itachi answered: "Hn." Kisame grabbed his sword, "Dammit, Itachi! Can't you say anything and WHY IS ARASHI CRAWLING ON THE CEILING?"

The brunette looked down at them as she skittered past, her chakra claws gripping the ceiling. "Hi Kisame, hi Itachi. Bye." With that, she crawled down the hallway. And moments later…

"ARASHI. Where the hell are you, dammit?" Hidan called. He glanced around the hallway and caught sight of Kisame and Itachi. "Kisame! Do you know where the f-ck Arashi is?" The shark man stared at Hidan. "… No?"

Hidan cursed quite a few times under his breath and ran in the other direction. Itachi opened the door to his room and stepped inside. Kisame stared after the Uchiha. "Geez, what a creep."

Arashi opened the door to Konan's room and scurried inside. The door slammed behind her. The origami artist looked up to see Arashi locking the door and plopping herself down next to Konan. "KONAN. Deidara and Hidan are _insane!_" Konan chuckled, "Like I don't already know that."

Arashi groaned. "I don't get it. Why the hell do they like me!? I'm not pretty or anything!" Konan looked at her friend with a serious expression. "Don't say that." Arashi returned the glance, "I'm serious, Konan. I don't wear makeup or anything. I have _fangs _for god's sake!"

"Well, it doesn't matter what's on the inside-"Arashi interrupted Konan, "Please do not start with that corny shit." She frowned as Konan rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll go to my room and lock the door then."

She opened the door, looked both ways, and made a dash down the hallway. Arashi twisted the doorknob to her room and slipped inside. The door locked and slammed behind her as she jumped onto the bed.

Kawauso didn't bother to look at her; he was too busy examining a scrap of paper. "Arashi… When did you get this?" The otter held the paper up. It was the letter from Iji. Arashi mentally slapped herself and sat on the bed.

"Kawauso… Tenshinhige and Sagegami are coming after the Akatsuki," Arashi told him. The otter stared at her for a moment, "WHAT?!" Instantly, Arashi covered his way to big of a mouth. "Shh! Not so loud!" she hissed, "I told Iji, we're supposed to meet him at the forest." Kawauso mumbled something, and she removed her hand so he could speak. "Why didn't you tell Leader!? This concerns him too." Kawauso whispered.

Arashi narrowed his eyes, "There's no need. Iji and I have this covered." Kawauso dashed for the door. "It concerns the entire organization too. I'm gonna tell Sir Leader." Arashi's eyes widened, "Kawauso! Don't!" Too late, he had already left.

"Dammit! Get the hell back here you stupid otter!" She raced out into the hallway, only to be tackled by a blur or orange and black. Tobi. "Arashi-chan! Deidara-sempai and Hidan were mean to Tobi!"

Arashi growled in frustration. "Yeah, yeah. That's great Tobi." She attempted to squirm out of his embrace. "How is it a good thing?" The masked ninja questioned. Arashi's growls intensified- she was starting to worry. "Never mind! Just get the hell off of me!"

"But Arashi-"She pushed Tobi to the ground and ran down the hallway. The doors flew past her as Pein's office came closer and closer into view. Arashi flung herself into the room and onto the ground. Kawauso and Pein were already in the room.

The worst part was Pein was glaring. Good things do **not** happen when Pein is glaring.

-----

"What!?" "You can't be serious, hmm!"

The entire Akatsuki were gathered once again in the living room for another meeting. Except they were actually paying attention this time.

"Don't think of it as… leaving," Pein said, "Think of it as… Being out of circulation. … For awhile."

"And just how long is 'awhile'?" demanded Hidan. Pein scratched his head, "Uh…" Kawauso was behind Kisame, cowering in fear. Arashi had to be restrained by several chains so that she wouldn't maul her partner.

"Well, that doesn't matter," Leader continued, "Arashi's existence here in Akatsuki is a threat to everyone. We are sending her away until it's safe for her to come back. That is final. Arashi is to remove her Akatsuki ring and cloak, just to be safe." Konan shot Pein a glare as the crowd grew silent.

Arashi got Deidara to release her from the chains that held her down and spoke up. "It's okay, really. We'll leave now, without a huge commotion and come back once it's safe for all of us."

Kawauso nodded his agreement.

And twenty minutes later they were all packed up and Arashi was dragging him out of the doors. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, YOU HEAR!" Kawauso shouted. His claws were latching onto the floor as Arashi pulled harder on his tail. "I'll have my revenge!"

"Didn't I see without a huge commotion!?" Arashi screeched at the otter. "Nonsense! I will stand my ground if I damn well feel like-"Arashi pulled him free of the floor and ran out the door.

The organization stared after them. "… I'm bored," Kisame stated. "Tobi is too." "Meh."

Arashi continued to drag Kawauso down the mountain trail until at last, they reached the bottom. She threw him to the ground and crossed her arms. "You done?" The otter nodded.

Arashi sighed and adjusted her pack. "Well, looks like we're on the road again." Her partner nodded and followed the kunoichi as she began walking. "Well, we do have to go to the forest anyway."

"… Where is the forest again?" Arashi rolled her eyes and groaned. "For the last, it's in the Fire Country! How dumb are you?" He chuckled, "Pretty dumb, actually." Pft. Like she didn't know that.

"Whatever," Arashi mumbled as she transformed to her phoenix form. "Get on." The otter gulped before clambering onto her back. The large bird sighed. "Kawauso, are you ever going to get over flying."

But before he could answer, they were off with the wind with the Akatsuki base to their backs. Kawauso gradually calmed down long enough to glance at Arashi. She wore a gloomy expression. "Hey, don't be so sad. I mean you got me right."

"That's what's making me sad." Arashi retorted with a smirk. Kawauso sighed and lay on his back. It was silent aside from the wind whistling in the air. "I think we need to land," Kawauso said, "I think I see a village in the horizon." Arashi said nothing, but landed anyway.

As her feathers melted into flesh, she began walking. "Hurry up. The Fire Country's a long way from here." Kawauso ran to catch up with his partner, "Oh come on! Can't we get a bite to eat first?" His stomach gurgled, and Arashi couldn't refuse after that. Arashi grinned at the otter and got down on all fours. "Who ever wins this race gets to eat the most."

"What? Arashi I can't beat y-"He stopped as Arashi took off. "Hey, get back here! Cheater!" Kawauso sighed and raced after her. "Hey! Wait up!" A figure observed this display in the distance, a twisted smile on his face. "My, my. This is going to be a lot easier than we thought." He cackled and disappeared with a puff of smoke.

-----

"Aw come on. Can't you share a little?" Kawauso pleaded. Arashi smiled at him and sucked a ramen noodle that was dangling from her mouth. "Nope. Should've eaten more slowly." Arashi went back to shoving her face in the bowl. Kawauso sighed as the waitress placed the bill on the table. "HOLY SHIT!" Kawauso screamed. "How much did you eat?" Arashi finished her ramen and grinned. "You're paying." She fled the restaurant. "Hey, hey! Wait!" Kawauso sighed and set the money on the table, chasing after Arashi.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Arashi said to the otter. Kawauso sighed. "Are we getting closer?" The Fenikkusu shrugged. "The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we get to the forest. So pick up the pace." The otter mumbled something and walked faster. Soon enough, they were out of the bustling village and into the silent woods.

Kawauso inhaled the sweet forest air. "Hey… Do you hear that?" Arashi paused and listened. Trickling water… "A river!" Kawauso burst into a wide grin. "Finally, I get to cool off!" He raced in the direction of the liquid. Seconds later, there was a splash. Sighing, Arashi followed after her partner. Kawauso was splashing happily in the water. He dove into the river and returned with a silver fish flapping around in his jaws. "Hey, I got a snack!" Arashi growled, "Put that back or I'll-"

_Thunk_

A sword, lit up by electricity, embedded itself in the tree next to Arashi. She was instantly alert and jumped away from the tree, just in time to see it explode. "Oh no, SHIT!" Kawauso hissed. "Quick, underwater!" Arashi commanded and leaped into the river. Bubbles rose to the surface as her chakra took the shape of a tail that wrapped around the lower half of her body. Her neck fizzled with energy and took the shape of gills. Finally, she grew webbing between her fingers and swam off. Kawauso was right behind her. "Ha! I'd like to see them catch us now!" the otter exclaimed. "Kawauso! Behind you!" Arashi yelled. He barely ducked out of the way of a large hand composed of mist. The mist hand grabbed empty water and retracted back to its owner. Its owner being none other than Sagegami.

"How in the world…?" Arashi hissed. Her answer was clear. Sagegami had a mask supplying oxygen over his mouth. Tenshinhige swam next to his partner. "Heh. Finally, we have you alone. Now we don't have to worry about those Akatsuki punks." The kunoichi narrowed her eyes. "We're in no mood to fight," Arashi growled. "What? You kidding me? I wanna kick his ass right now!" Kawauso protested. She glared at him. Tenshinhige chuckled, "Well we're in the mood. Tough luck." A couple of hand signs, and ice began to encase his body. Soon he was wearing icy armor with multiple spikes jutting from the sides. Sagegami moved behind Tenshinhige as he curled into a ball and grew in size. He was big enough that the entire river was blocked by a big, spiky ice ball. "… Swim." Arashi ordered.

The two fled as fast as their bodies would allow them. The ice ball rolled forward slowly, but as Sagegami's mist hands provided it strength, the speed picked up. Faster and faster it went, until it was a blur and hurtling towards Arashi and Kawauso. Arashi glanced backwards to see the ball coming closer. "Quick, down this tunnel!" She swam downwards and entered a tunnel underneath the water, Kawauso close behind. The ball, however, did not stop rolling. It hurled down the tunnel and rolled closer and closer. "We're not gonna make it!" Kawauso cried. "I know that!" the medical ninja hissed. There was a dead end ahead, but it appeared that there was also another tunnel to the left as well as the right. "Quickly!" She kicked faster and rushed through the water. Kawauso controlled the water currents so that he was propelled forward. They were almost to the second tunnel when ice shards pinned them to the wall.

"Oh god no." Arashi whispered. The ice ball was only yards away from them. Arashi and Kawauso struggled to free themselves, but to no avail. They were trapped as well as doomed. The ice ball skidded to a stop and waited, as if to enjoy the moment. Arashi glared at it for that moment, just to get it in. There was a screech, and the ice ball was hurtling towards them again, to finish them off for good. Kawauso and Arashi braced themselves for a surge of pain. It never came. Instead, there was a huge explosion. The ice ball broke into shards, and Tenshinhige fell to the ground. Sagegami was blown backwards. Arashi and Kawauso were whisked away by something that came from the right tunnel.

And of course it was Deidara riding on a clay shark. "Deidara! You idiot you can't breathe!" Arashi screeched him rather than being grateful and snuggling him. Deidara glanced at her and smirked. He held her in one of his arms, close to his chest. Kawauso was clinging onto Deidara's back. There was light filtering up ahead. Good, at least Deidara wouldn't drown. "Hey… Deidara." Arashi started. Deidara looked down at her again. "Th-"

Two mist hands seized the three. The clay shark exploded in a puff of smoke. Sagegami cackled, "As if we would let you off that easily." Arashi snarled at her enemy. Deidara was next to her in the fist that held her captive. Kawauso was in the other fist, and Tenshinhige appeared to be floating nearby Sagegami, obviously worn out. Arashi could imagine the malicious grin on Sagegami's face. The mist-fists tightened their grip on the trio. Arashi cringed and inhaled. Luckily she had her gills, or she couldn't breathe… Breathe… Shit! Arashi stole a glance at Deidara. He appeared to be in pain, and he obviously needed air. This is bad. She squirmed around some more, but Sagegami just laughed again. The grip became even tighter and electricity surged through the mist, shocking the Akatsuki that they held.

Arashi winced. _Dammit…_ She heard a gurgle and turned to see Deidara gulping in water. "Deidara, don't!" she cried. "Alright, that's it!" Her skin turned into fur, blue fur to be precise. She grew a green main and transformed into a lion. _TAKE THIS YOU ASSHOLES! _She couldn't speak since she was unable to breath. Electricity sparked and then ripped through the mist-fist. It electrocuted Sagegami, and he released the jutsu out of shock. Tenshinhige was also hit by the surge and flopped to the ground. Arashi quickly grabbed Deidara, who was unconscious and swam towards the light. Arashi and Kawauso surfaced, and the medic immediately put Deidara on the shore. "He's not breathing," Arashi told Kawauso.

She put both hands on his chest and pressed downwards. She repeated the motion several times until Deidara finally coughed up water. Arashi sighed as Deidara rid himself of any water that was in his lungs. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Hey there." Arashi punched him in the stomach. "You freaking idiot! Why the hell did you do that!? You could have drowned." The artist snorted and sat up, "I just saved your life. Be grateful, hmm." Arashi snarled at him and clenched her fists. "Hate to break the love fest, but we happen to have two guys trying to kill us about a few meters away," Kawauso reminded them. Deidara unzipped his clay pouch and stuck his hand inside of it. "Taken care of, hmm."

Within seconds, a clay bird formed in front of their eyes. Without hesitation, the three of them hopped on and were gliding through the air before Tenshinhige and Sagegami emerged from the water. Arashi sighed as the river drifted away from sight. "Did Hidan come too?" Deidara chuckled, "He had a mission, hmm. I was supposed to contact him when I found you but…" An evil grin spread onto his face. "… You're an asshole," Arashi stated. His grin grew even wider, "I know." Kawauso glanced down at the ground beneath them. He gulped and said, "Wait, where are you taking us?"

"Home, hmm" the artist replied. "What!? Deidara, we can't go home! We have to head for the Fire Country. Tenshinhige and Sagegami are still out there!" Deidara snorted and turned his creation around. "Then we'll go to the Fire Country then go home, hmm." Arashi sighed, "Okay fine, fine." Deidara gave her another one of his famous grins and returned his attention to flying. It was quiet for what seemed to be the longest time. The sun began to drip downwards and paint the sky with a sunset. Kawauso had fallen asleep on Arashi's lap, and the kunoichi was stroking his head absentmindedly. She had thought he was cute when she first found him. Man, was she wrong. He was nice to have around. Arashi glanced at Deidara, who happened to be staring at her, and their eyes met for a second. They both blushed at the same time and averted their eyes.

The bird began to descend and landed in a quiet forest. "We should rest here for the night." Arashi nodded in agreement and set Kawauso down. Arashi gathered stray twigs and started a fire. She was interrupted by a gurgling growl. Alarmed, Arashi looked up to find Deidara blushing. "Eheh. I haven't eaten in a while, hmm." She grinned at this, "Well our supplies got soaked, hang on, and I'll get us something to eat. I'm kinda starving too." She whistled, and within seconds, a couple birds fluttered in her direction. "Hey guys, could you get us a few berries and stuff?"

They nodded and were gone in a flash. Minutes later, they returned with fruits and nuts in their talons. The fowl placed the food in her outstretched hands. She gave most of the edibles to Deidara, and set some next to the sleeping Kawauso. She shoved the rest in her face. How lady like. Deidara ate slowly, watching her every mood. Arashi glanced up and glared at him. "Will you quit staring at me? It's starting to creep me out!" Deidara plopped the last berry into his mouth without averting his eyes. She growled irritably and shifted her gaze away from her boyfriend. The next second that Arashi glanced up, the sculptor was right beside her, staring at her intently with his cerulean eyes. She felt her face grow hot as he licked berry juice from his lips with his tiny pink tongue. Oh god, was he turning her on? … Mm, yep. He was.

The next instant, he locked lips with her. However, this kiss was different from the countless others she had gotten. More intense. She pulled him closer and shut her brown eyes. And then she felt his _tongue _poke her lips, pleading her for entrance. She didn't know why, but she let him in. They were using tongue! ... Nice. After explored her mouth, they released for air. "Deidara…" Arashi panted. The artist made sure Kawauso was still sleeping, and pressed his lips on her neck. She hissed his name, and he stopped. Hm, that actually felt good. "Just don't give me a hickey." Deidara smiled and returned his lips to her neck, prying a soft moan out of her. She pulled the collar of his cloak and brought him into another kiss, causing them to both fall to the ground.

Kawauso suppressed giggles as he watched this. Maybe if he was lucky, they'd get to second base by morning. … Or third. Third would be awesome.


	16. Chapter 16

Arashi snuggled into Deidara's arms. "Ever gotten that far with Hidan, hmm?" he asked, smiling. She blushed slightly. "No, I never thought it would get that… intense." She locked her eyes with his. "You know I can't have sex with you, right? Imagine if you knocked me up and I got pregnant. What would happen then?" She noted the light pink that spread across his face when she said this. "Nothing to worry about, hmm. I can control myself… though…" he pulled her closer to him, "I can't say the same for Hidan, hmm." Arashi elbowed Deidara in the gut. "Shut up." He chuckled and planted a light kiss on her cheek. "Whatever, hmm. Go to sleep." Arashi turned and watched the flickering flames of the fire. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted. Her eyelids drooped shut as Deidara started stroking her head gently. "I love you, hmm," he whispered into her ear. She smiled, too tired to speak.

The next minute: "Hey… Hey, Arashi wake up." It was Kawauso. Groaning, she forced her eyelids to pull back. "What? Kawauso, go to sleep!" Arashi ordered. "Look, I'd love to see you lovebirds make out some more" she blushed at this. He'd been watching! Pervert. "But we gotta go, now." He Fenikkusu glanced at the blonde next to her. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed, and his arm was wrapped protectively around her. She melted at the sight. "…But he said he'd come with us…"

Kawauso shook his head, "Arashi, this is our problem. You, me, Iji, and Heads. Let's not get anyone involved in this that shouldn't." She didn't protest. It hurt, but he was right. Careful not to wake him, she slipped out of his grasp. The otter had already packed up their stuff, and was waiting impatiently to depart. She kissed Deidara's soft lips and crept towards the forest. "Shouldn't we leave a note?" she asked. "He'll know. Let's hope he doesn't follow us." She nodded solemnly at Kawauso and left the campsite.

When the where far enough, they started leaping tree from tree. Not a word was spoken between either of them. They paused at a small stream for a drink and continued. "Are we close?" Kawauso asked. "We should be entering the Fire Country soon. Closer than we were before." Arashi had said this rather coldly, although she didn't mean it. She was angry at stupid Tanran for ruining her life. Couldn't he find some other power source? What, does he want a woman to suck the life out so he can… Oh god. Drop the subject. Arashi shook her head to erase the mental images.

There was a flash of blonde, but only for a split second. Arashi groaned, "Kawauso, he followed us." The otter sighed and stopped. "Deidara, we know you're here, come… out?" She felt her entire body freeze up. "Agh! What happened?" Kawauso began shaking from the strain of trying to move his body. Arashi looked down to see a black shadow stretching towards the trees. A young man with a brown hair pulled in a ponytail stepped out of the trees. Next to him was the blonde Arashi must have seen earlier. Except she looked nothing like Deidara… She… Arashi chuckled. Her partner looked up at her irritably, "What's so funny?" She smiled down at him, "I mistook that girl as Deidara. I thought he was a girl… again!" The otter couldn't help but grin. A final shinobi, one that needed to lose some weight, landed next to his teammates. "Woah." Kawauso stared at the fat man. "Kawauso, be nice." Arashi hissed.

She looked at her captors and flashed them a toothy smile. "Um, hi! We have to go somewhere really important, so can you… let us go? Please?" The shinobi with a ponytail raised and eyebrow. "Don't make me laugh. We know you two are wanted criminals. We're not going to let you off that easily." Arashi frowned at this. They all appeared to be Leaf Ninja. The blonde took out a book and flipped through a few pages. She held up their wanted posters, hers and Kawauso's. "… Sweet! We're wanted criminals!" Kawauso cheered. "That's always been my dream!" Arashi rolled her eyes, "I thought your dream was to get a girlfriend. Did you already give up?" The otter frowned, "… No…"

"Enough, Choji, help me tie these two up. Ino, contact the others. I guess we'll have to cancel our mission." The ponytail and the fat guy started to bind Arashi and Kawauso with rope. The blonde, Ino, started speaking into her radio. "Ouch! Hey, go easy on the paws!" Kawauso snapped at Choji. He glared at the otter and tied the rope tighter, earning a yelp from Kawauso. "Hey, can you tell your friend to go easy on him?" Arashi said the shadow user. He ignored her and finished tying her binds. "They'll be here soon, Shikamaru!" Ino called. "Shikamaru, huh? Nice name," complimented Arashi. Once again, she was ignored. "Let's start heading back now," Shikamaru ordered.

As they were dragged along, Arashi tried to pry some small talk out of them. "So… Konoha huh? Never been there. Is it nice?" No answer. "… I heard that the Leaf Village has a good dango store! Can I have some? … Please?" She frowned and shut her mouth. A few minutes later, there was a rustling sound. The group froze as four figures appeared in front of them. One had long purplish hair and extremely pale eyes, the other covered his face completely with his clothing, you couldn't even see his eyes. The final member had spiky brown hair and red fang like markings on his cheek. Beside him was… "Oh my god, a doggy!" It was huge, and white in color. It barked and pinned her to the ground, licking her face. She giggled, "Hey, doggy. What's your name?" the canine barked a couple of times. "Akamaru, huh?"

The rest of the ninja stared at the scene. "Agh! Akamaru, she's the enemy! Get back here before she hurts you!" The spiky brunette ordered. Arashi got to her feet, "Relax, I won't hurt him. He's too adorable." Kawauso rolled his eyes and the spiky haired ninja called Akamaru back. "Whatever, let's head back now." The rest of the walk was in silence. Two gigantic gates came into view, behind them a large village that was perhaps one of the biggest Arashi and Kawauso have ever seen. "Woah," Kawauso said. They entered the gates, and two men appeared next to them. One of the men had spiked black hair with a bandage over his nose. The other had brown hair that covered his right eye. "Who are these people?" The bandaged one asked. "Two Akatsuki members," Shikamaru explained and showed them their wanted poster in the book.

"Hi!" Arashi chirped. The brown haired man glared at her, "Bring her to the Hokage's office." The six Leaf Ninja nodded and the Akatsuki members were pushed towards a large red building. "Hey! I smell dango! Can I have some, please?" Shikamaru lost it there, "Will you shut the hell up!?" She whimpered for effect and silenced herself.

Moments later, they were inside the red building and being pushed/dragged up numerous stairways. They arrived at a door, and Shikamaru knocked twice. "Come in!" a feminine voice ordered. Inside there was a blonde woman with _enormous _tits, a brunette holding a… "Piggy!" Arashi cried. Kawauso was trying very hard to hold back a nosebleed from looking the blonde. Next to the blonde woman was a pink haired female. "… Woah. That's something you don't see everyday." Arashi murmured. The pinky glared at her. "Enough of that," tit-woman ordered. Arashi stared at her, "Hey… Hey wait! I know you! Er. Tsunade! One of the three Sannin." Shikamaru chuckled, "Well, well. You actually know something."

She ignored him. "Yeah, I've met Orochimaru before." The room instantly became silent. "… Tell us," Tsunade demanded. "Well, he was a perverted old man. And he wanted my body." Arashi shivered, "How messed up is that? Anyway, the last I saw of him was a while back. We kicked his ass." The Hokage was immediately interested. "Do you know anything about Uchiha Sasuke?" Kawauso cocked his head to one side. "Sasuke? You mean, Saucegay?" Pinky blinked, "… Who?"

"That's what we call him," Arashi explained. "Itachi gets all pissed when we call him that, but we don't care. Well, I know that this Saucegay is an asshole and needs to die." She flashed everyone a smile. They stared. Tsunade sighed, "Very well. Now. Anything about Akatsuki you want to tell us?" The Fenikkusu nodded, "Yep! They're an evil organization of S-ranked criminals who are mostly guys except they wear nail polish and have rings! And get this, none of them are gay!" The pink head looked very irritated by now.

"… Take them to their cells," the Hokage ordered. Kawauso's mouth dropped open. "Cells? Wait! We're not criminals!" he protested as they were dragged away. "I'm a Fenikkusu! You follow the Will of Fire! You can't put me in jail!" Arashi screeched as they were hauled out of the Hokage's office and onto the streets. "Come on guys, seriously! I really have to go somewhere," she pleaded. Her words were ignored and they were dragged to the jail.

The guards moved out of the group's way as they were taken down, down and into a cramped private cell. With their hands still bound, the Akatsuki were tossed inside and slammed again the wall. Kawauso groaned, "Ow…" The Leaf Ninja's footsteps echoed in the dark corridor as they disappeared. "Great, now they're gonna kill us," Kawauso moaned. "Oh hush!" Arashi snapped, "I got this covered, remember the weasel's an escape artist." Kawauso grinned, "Right! This'll be easy!" Seconds later, Arashi was still her human self. "… Well?" Kawauso asked. She sighed, "Transformation lock."

"Oh, joy." Kawauso snorted. Arashi frowned and curled into a ball. "We're so screwed. Okay, when someone comes in, look as adorable and as innocent as possible." Soon enough, footsteps approached. The cell door opened, and a bald man with twin scars on his face. "Now then, are you two the Akatsuki?" Kawauso blinked his soft golden eyes at the man. "Y-yes… Don't hurt us, please." The scarred shinobi chuckled. "Nice try, you don't know how much of that I get." Three more figures appeared behind the cell. "Now then, let's start slow. Tell us everything you know about the Akatsuki."

Arashi stared into his eyes, "No." He smiled at her, "And why is that?" Arashi returned his smile. "Listen up; I want everyone to know this. To you, The Akatsuki is heartless psychotic criminals, and should be killed. But to me and Kawauso, they're more than that. They're family to us, our teammates. Like you, even criminals don't put their comrades in danger."

The shinobi laughed at her little speech. "Very well, I'll tell everyone what you said. But… that's not gonna get out of jail." He smirked, and the other ninja moved closer to the captive Akatsuki.

-----

They were tossed roughly into the cells after the interrogation. "Oh man, ouch," Kawauso groaned. "You didn't have to be so rough!" Arashi hollered after the ninja team. "Urgh. These cuts hurt. Come here, Kawauso, I'll heal you." She was silent as she healed her partner and, afterwards, herself. Footsteps echoed through the walls as more Leaf shinobi arrived.

"Dinner," someone said and slipped a bowl of… paste into the cell. "Ew. What the hell is this shit?" Kawauso demanded. "Food. Eat it." The otter stuck his tongue out in disgust as he inhaled the scent. "I'll pass." Meanwhile, Arashi was shoving her face with the paste. "Mm! This stuff is good," she complimented between mouthfuls. The ninja chuckled, "You two are freaks."

Kawauso flashed him a fake smile, "Thanks, we know." He glared at Kawauso and began to leave, "I hope you two are killed soon, I don't want to have to deal with you any longer." The footsteps faded away. "Geez, why is everyone so mean?" the blue animal hissed. Arashi finished the rest of her paste, "Doesn't matter, we're getting out of here."

"Oh really. And how is that?" Arashi smirked at her partner, "Haven't you heard tiny footsteps?" Kawauso nodded. "And what does that mean?" He thought this over for a second, "… Mice?" The kunoichi nodded, "Give me your food, I'll try and lure one here." They set the paste out and scooted away from it, waiting. Soon enough, there were tiny footsteps and a low squeaking sound. A rat squeezed through the bars, cautiously sniffed the air, and began eating the paste.

"Hey little guy, you look hungry," Arashi cooed. The rodent glanced up at her with beady eyes. The Fenikkusu gently stroked the tiny head with her finger. "And scared too. Don't worry, I can fix that. Come here." It hesitated before climbing on her lap. "Good boy, now hold still. I won't hurt you. It'll feel weird, just stay calm…" She placed one finger on its head and began channeling chakra.

-----

"Hey, Ibiki."

"Hm?"

"What do you think of the criminals?" an interrogation ninja asked. Ibiki scratched his chin, "Huh. I'd say they're weird. That girl, always smiling. And the otter's kinda abnormal as well. What can you expect from the Akatsuki?"

And at that moment, Akatsuki worked its magic. The sun was slowly rising as a new day approached. The interrogation team was making its way to they jail. And from the doors burst Arashi and Kawauso riding a… large sewer rat. Its eyes were black and beady as ever, and it was the size of Akamaru. It looked like a normal rat, except it was freaking huge. And it was foaming at the mouth.

"What the-"Ibiki started. Arashi beamed at him. "Truly, I am sorry about this… Sorta." The rat opened its foaming jaws and sprayed tiny purple needles at the shinobi. They flopped to the ground, paralyzed. "Bye guys! Thanks for the food." Kawauso called as the giant rodent bounded over them. "Onward, Peppy!" Arashi commanded. The rodent squealed, reared on its hind legs, and raced out of Konoha's gates.

"Freedom!" Kawauso cheered as the forest rushed by. Peppy grinned up at Arashi happily. "This is great, now he doesn't have to worry. He'll be safe from predators, and I increased his life span." Kawauso rolled his eyes, "You should have given him better powers." She snorted, "It would have taken too long. It was more like a pity transformation. I wanted to make this guy's life better." She pet his massive forehead as Peppy slowed down to a trot.

"How long are we gonna keep him?" Kawauso questioned, lying on his back to watch sunlight melt across the sky. "I figure we can rest a little bit, and then release him. You don't mind, right?" Peppy squeaked his answer.

Hours passed, and the sun rose steadily in the sky. Birds sang from the tree tops. "Well, this is where we get off." Kawauso sighed, "Aw come on!" She pulled her partner off the rat. "Well, Peppy. Good luck raising a family. Don't know how that'll work…" Peppy squeaked happily and nuzzled Arashi, then Kawauso and bounded away.

The kunoichi smiled as she watched him go. "Come on, we're almost there." Kawauso huffed and followed her. "I hear a river nearby. We can stop for a drink." Kawauso grinned, "Finally! Last time I went swimming, we got mauled!"

They made their way towards the river. But as the duo knelt down to get a drink, they noticed two figures nearby. One was a blonde that wore orange and black clothing and a Konoha headband. The other was an old man clad in robes with, obviously, white hair. They both appeared to be eating by the side of the river. The blonde noticed her first.

"Ah! Akatsuki!" he declared, pointing. Apparently their faces were pretty well known by now. The old man was already on his feet. Arashi sweatdropped, "Woah, woah. Don't mind us! We're just getting a drink and…" Kawauso interrupted her. "Hey… That kid's Uzumaki Naruto! The nine-tailed fox demon!" Arashi stared at the otter, "… Really. Okay then… Hi!" Naruto glared at her, "What do you want?"

Arashi smiled at him, "Actually, we were just about to get moving so…. AGH! KAWAUSO!" The old man's hair had lengthened and was now curled around Kawauso. "Agh! Put me down!" he flailed around. "I'll get the other one!" Naruto called. "What? No, no! We're not doing anything- OW!" She was punched in the cheek.

Rubbing her injury she shot a glare at the jinchuriki. "Why'd you do that? Hasn't anyone ever told you never to hit a girl!?" Naruto bared his teeth at her, "You're in Akatsuki. I know you're after me you… You freak!" Again with the 'freak.' Arashi growled dangerously, "You're one to talk. We didn't even _do _anything and you two are mauling us. I don't think you even have the right to call me a freak! You have a god forsaken _demon _inside you! We're on the same page."

Apparently those words hurt. And made him extremely angry. Arashi watched as his blue eyes slowly morphed into red. "… Uh… I didn't mean it in a bad way… Think of it as… Unique?" Naruto slowly began to advance on her. "Naruto! Go easy on her!" the old man called. "Whatever, Pervy Sage." Pervy Sage? She would have laughed if she wasn't going to be ripped to shreds.

Still she tried to reason with him. "Okay, look, I'm sorry. I just really need to go somewhere. It's urgent and-"Naruto made a hand sign, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" A clone appeared next to him. Without taking his eyes off of her, the clone began rapidly spinning his hands around his open palm. "… Seriously, what happened to chivalry?"

"Chivalry is dead!" Kawauso called from the old man's hair grasp. The clone disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Naruto began charging after her with a spinning ball of blue chakra in his right hand. "Rasengan!" he howled and hit her with the jutsu. Next thing she knew, Arashi had flown back and knocked over a tree. Her shoulder was bleeding badly. "Ow…" she groaned and began to pump her chakra into her wound.

Naruto appeared in front of her, glaring with those red eyes. Arashi stared back at him, a hint of nervousness in her own brown eyes. Naruto grabbed her by the collar. "Don't you _ever _compare yourself to me. We're _nothing _alike!" he hissed and started shaking her. "W-wait! We have to have something in com-"Naruto threw her, and she collided into another tree. On her injured arm too, she hadn't finished healing it yet. Arashi yelped and clutched her bleeding limb.

Her wing tattoo glowed black- an unusual color for her. Fear. "P-please don't hurt me. I really have to go somewhere." Naruto snarled, "Shut the hell up!" He punched her again in her injured shoulder. Arashi squeaked and bit her lip. The jinchuriki wiped the blood off of his knuckled and tossed her in the other direction. Arashi flew through the air and skidded across the ground to a stop. There was a shadow over her, and a sharp pain in her stomach before she blacked out.

She immediately felt cool water against her cheek. "Arashi, you okay?" Kawauso called. She was floating on his water form's back. They were swimming swiftly down the river. Nausea hit her immediately. "No…" she moaned, coughing slightly. The liquid otter frowned, "Don't worry, I got you." He focused attention back on the river. Arashi felt even queasier as the scenery rushed by her. Kawauso glanced back to see his partner becoming extremely pale, "You're not going to throw up on me, right."

The kunoichi managed a weak smile and clung onto the otter's neck. He groaned suddenly, "Dammit, they're following us?" A kunai passed through his liquefied body and plopped into the water. He shot the old man that threw it a glare, but then Naruto was behind them along with a clone. Within seconds, he had another chakra ball in his hands.

The spinning ball shredded Kawauso's form, and Arashi fell into the water. The Fenikkusu was immediately washed away by the waves, Kawauso returning to his normal form. Arashi didn't have the energy to create chakra gills, and she couldn't move. _Shit, I'm going to drown!_ Something yanked her out of the water. Arashi sputtered and felt herself slowing rising.

More dizziness. She groaned as she was grabbed into a warm embrace. "Are you okay, hmm?" Arashi coughed into his shoulder. "Take it easy," he said softly. "K-Kawauso…" His hand rubbed up and down her back, comforting her. "He's fine." She started groaning again. "What's wrong, hmm?" She held her injured shoulder, "It's… nothing." His hand grasped her arm, "Here, let me see that." He examined it with his cerulean eyes, "Oh, shit. Hold still I'll…"

"Shh," she commanded and brought her head closer to his chest. "But, Arashi…" Deidara started. "Be quiet… I'm tired and I'll heal my self," she pressed her ear over the center of his chest. His heart thumped anxiously against his skin. Arashi smiled slightly and Deidara wrapped his arms around her body and held her close, chin resting on her head. Eventually, he settled down and his pulse slowed to a rhythmic pace. Chakra slowly began to patch her wounds together.

"I wanna go home," Arashi finally whispered. Deidara chuckled, "We are going home, hmm. I talked to Iji, he and Kashira are already going after Sagegami and Tenshinhige. You have nothing to worry about, hmm." The tongue on his hand tickled her cheek as he stroked it. Arashi giggled slightly and kissed Deidara's chest lightly.

"Go to sleep, hmm. You're exhausted," Deidara commanded. Arashi yawned slightly, and Deidara smiled and kissed her cheek, "See?" Arashi groaned and shut her eyes, "Whatever…" and snuggled into his chest. Deidara glanced back to see Kawauso sleeping peacefully a few feet away. Sighing, he refocused his attention to flying. The sun was slowly making its descent over the horizon. They should be at the base by nightfall at least. He glanced down to observe Arashi sleeping peacefully against his chest. Deidara stroked her head a couple of times, kissed her forehead, and returned his focus onto flying.

"… Deidara?" he looked downwards and saw Arashi starting tiredly at him. "Yeah?"

"…Thanks."

-----

Just as he had predicted, the world was wrapped in night's blanket by the time Deidara's sculpture landed. Kawauso had already woken up, and was beside Deidara who carried the sleeping Arashi in his arms. "Hopefully everyone's sleeping, hmm." Deidara whispered and stepped silently and cautiously towards the base door. He opened it with only the slightest creaking sound.

"ARASHI!"

"Oh god," Deidara hissed. Hidan tackled Deidara to the ground and pried Arashi out of his arms. She awoke immediately, "Hidan?" she groggily asked. The Jashinist had his arms wrapped around her. "Thank Jashin you're back! What the hell happened to you?" he angrily pointed at Deidara, "You did this, bastard!" Arashi sighed tiredly, "No, Hidan… Konoha… Shinobi." Hidan kissed her forehead, "Don't worry, I'll sacrifice those assholes." He carried her bridal style into the base, "You're sleeping with me."

Deidara growled beside him, "Uh, no you're not, hmm. Arashi's sleeping with _me._" He pulled on her arm. Kawauso ran off, not wanting to get in the middle of this. "She's sleeping with me, dumbass," Hidan stated. "No me, "Deidara shot back. "Look… Can you two think of something… that doesn't involve me being abused?" Arashi pleaded. Deidara loosened his grip on her arm. "…Fine, hmm…"

Arashi ended up sleeping in her own room. With Deidara and Hidan on either side of her. This obviously wasn't a good idea. It was barely a two person bed. Kawauso, on the other had, was enjoying this. "Can I come up there and make in a foursome?" he taunted. Arashi groaned, "I'm just trying to sleep." She snuggled into Hidan's chest, earning a disapproving grunt from Deidara. Hidan chuckled, "She likes me more."

Deidara childishly stuck his tongue out at his rival. "I've gotten to first base, hmm." Hidan gasped, and Deidara pulled the now sleeping Arashi closer to him. He grinned. Hidan's eye twitched, "Bastard." Deidara grinned, "And I do believe that she fell for me first, hmm."

Hidan was shaking with anger, "I despise you," he muttered and crossed his arms over his chest. "I bet you don't even kiss well, hmm," Deidara said. Hidan tore Arashi away from Deidara and punched the artist in the gut. He gasped and clutched his stomach as Hidan turned his back to the blonde and cuddled Arashi. Deidara coughed and shifted his position as well. "Ugh, we need to sort this out someway, hmm."

"Agreed, we need sleeping arrangements," Hidan said and planted a light kiss on Arashi's neck. Deidara narrowed his eyes, "I got an idea. How about you leave, hmm?" Hidan yawned, "You know what, just go to sleep, dumbass." Deidara shut his cerulean eyes. Truth be told, he was tired- no, exhausted. He glanced over to see Kawauso slumbering on his pillow. Who knows what Hidan might do if he fell asleep now.

So as the night dragged on, Deidara lie awake the whole time, while Hidan fell asleep with Arashi cradled in his arms. So it ended up with Deidara getting absolutely no sleep. As morning lazily came, Deidara dragged himself to the kitchen for breakfast. Hidan and Arashi were still asleep, as well as Kawauso.

A few hours after Deidara left, Arashi awoke. She sat up and yawned, realizing that one of her boyfriends was missing. Kawauso had left as well. Shrugging, Arashi shook Hidan awake. "Wuh?" he groaned and turned on his side, "Nng, five more… minutes." Irritated, Arashi pushed him out of bed, smiling at the satisfying 'thud'. "Come on, I'm starving!" The masochist groaned and reluctantly got on his feet.

After shoving food down her throat, Arashi made her way back to her room, smiling at the Akatsuki faces that she had come to miss. Then she saw Deidara stumbling through the living room. He had purple bags under his eyes, and looked half awake. "Uh… Dei?" The artist blinked at her voice, "Wuh huh?" She blinked and approached him, "You look exhausted, maybe you should-"

He fell into her arms, snoring lightly. Arashi rolled her eyes. Nothing like being home.


	17. Chapter 17

"Arashi!" Sasori yelled, opening the door to her room. She didn't meet his eyes, too engrossed in the herbs she was working on. "Where's Deidara?" the redhead demanded. "Sleeping," Arashi replied. Sasori quickly glanced at the clock, "Sleeping!? It's seven thirty!" She turned to glare at the puppet, "He likes to sleep in."

Grumbling to himself, Sasori exited the medic's room and stomped into Deidara's. The blonde was slumbering, drool leaking out of all three of his mouths. Ew. Not wanting to touch the… thing, Sasori unbuttoned his cloak and wrapped his stomach coils around Deidara's leg. The puppeteer pulled his partner out of his bed and slammed him to the floor. He was awake in an instant, "What? Sasori, hmm! What the hell was that for?"

Pulling his cloak back on, Sasori answered, "Mission. Pein's office now." Deidara cursed at Sasori under his breath as his partner left his room. "Might as well get dressed … hmm."

Arashi was getting quite irritated at her partner's obnoxious snoring. She slammed a hand on her desk, "Kawauso! Get up already!" The otter blinked his golden eyes open, "Nng… Quit your yelling woman…" Kawauso stumbled to his feet and yawned. "Too early for you to get mad at me… I'm getting something to eat."

A few minutes after the otter left, Deidara entered her room. "Hey," he greeted. She looked over towards him and smiled, "What's up?" Deidara yawned slightly, "Eh, another mission, hmm. Kidnapping." Arashi raised an eyebrow. Usually their missions were scroll retrievals or assassinations. But kidnapping? That's a new one. "How long will you be gone for?" Deidara shrugged his answer, "I'm leaving pretty soon so…"

"So what?" Deidara blushed slightly, "Well I thought you were going to get all clingy, hmm." Arashi rolled her eyes, "Oh please, I'm over that." Deidara muttered something and left.

About twenty minutes later, he had Arashi crushing him in a hug. Deidara tried his best to look annoyed, but he actually was enjoying this. "Let go. This is an important mission, hmm." Arashi reluctantly released him, "Don't do anything stupid." Deidara rolled his eyes, "Oh, please, hmm." Arashi followed her boyfriend out of his room.

Sasori and Pein were waiting impatiently. "You're late," Sasori stated from inside his puppet, Hiruko. "Don't let me down on this mission," Pein ordered, "It's the first time we really make our appearance." Deidara nodded, "Well then, let's get going then, hmm." Sasori began dragging himself towards the exit, the sculptor following close behind.

"… You're going to freak out for the next few days, aren't you?" Pein inquired. Arashi smiled and nodded. The leader sighed, "Where is Konan? I need a massage."

-----

"HIDAN! How long has it been now!?"

"I don't know, bitch! Uh… Three days?" Hidan replied. Arashi groaned. "Sunagakure isn't close by," Kakuzu reminded Arashi, "It will take awhile." Arashi grumbled to herself. "Geez, lighten up," Hidan said, "It's just a f-cking mission." Arashi continued to fidget. Hidan rolled his eyes and scooped her into his arms. "We're going to my room." She didn't struggle as her boyfriend carried her out of the living room.

He sat on his bed and pulled her closer. "So… what's this about getting to first base?" Arashi blushed, "Well… I uh…" she averted her eyes. Hidan smirked and leaned closer. Arashi pulled away, he blush deepening. The Jashinist frowned, "What's the matter?" The Fenikkusu giggled nervously, "Well, nothing, I…" the next second, she was pinned to the bed.

"Hidan, w-"His lips were against hers before she could yell at him. Thank Jashin. '_Ugh, fine. Whatever._' Arashi thought to herself. It wasn't long before his tongue poked its way into her mouth. Hidan was a good kisser… Even better than Deidara. After a few moments, Arashi decided that he was a way better kisser. Hidan broke away for air before latching their lips together once more. Arashi could feel her body temperature quickly rising. With her hand grabbing his shoulder, she could feel Hidan warming up as well beneath his cloak. She grabbed the hem of his cloak and began to-

"Hey, Arashi-chan! Leader says we have to- OH MY GOD!" Tobi shrieked. Immediately, they pulled away from each other. "Tobi's eyes! They burn!" the masked nin squeaked. "T-Tobi!" Hidan yelled, "Can't you knock you bastard!?" Tobi screamed and ran while yelling, "LIVING ROOM!" Hidan muttered something and crawled off of Arashi. He heard a giggle and whirled around to glare at her, "What now bitch?" She smiled, "You're redder than Sasori's head." The blush deepened, "Well… Uh. Whatever! Let's go!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her off the bed.

When they arrived in the living room, all the members were staring. Pein was blabbing on about something important, but the criminals weren't paying attention. As usual. The leader turned towards the newcomers. "Ah, Arashi, Hidan. We will begin soon. Arashi, remember how I trained you?" Arashi had already begun to ignore him, "Huh? What? Oh yeah, sure. Whatever."

Pein nodded, "Okay, we will be starting the process now. Assemble." He closed his eyes and created a hand sign. The rest of the members did the same. Drawing a long breath, Arashi concentrated as well. Moments later, her hologram appeared on top of a giant pinky finger, next to Kisame. It was dark, and the statue behind her didn't make the setting any better, the whole scene was rather creepy. And Kawauso was also the only one in the Akatsuki base now. Oh dear god.

Deidara and Sasori were at the cave entrance, along with an unconscious red head. Oh, and Deidara only had one arm. "AAAGH!" Arashi screeched. "DEIDARA YOU IDIOT! I told you not to do anything stupid!" Deidara cocked his head, "What?" She pointed at his missing limb. "YOUR ARM! What happed to you're arm!?"

"Oh that, hmm?" he glanced at his wound, "Doesn't hurt." Arashi scowled, "Damn you! If I weren't a hologram I'd-"That's enough!" Pein ordered, "We'll deal with this matter later. Now assume your positions." Deidara and Sasori jumped on to their assigned fingers. Arashi gave her boyfriend another death glare before readying herself for the process.

She began concentrating as soon as Leader said, "Begin." All the members were transferring their chakra into the statue, just like her. Blue energy leaked from the giant structure's mouth and gradually encased the red headed boy. It was going to take three days, Leader had said. Great. Slowly, the read head rose off the ground, suspended by the Akatsuki's chakra. The boy's eyes and mouth opened wide, and orange energy leaked out. Ew. But Arashi hadn't prepared herself for what would happen next.

He started moaning. In pain. No one had actually told her that the target would be in _pain!_ (Does anyone get 'in pain' out of context? … In Pein? Huh? Funny? Sexual? … No?) Arashi was stunned by this, causing her to break her concentration for a moment. The blue energy fizzled for a moment before Arashi regained her concentration. A few members spared her a glance before returning to business. "You okay?" Kisame asked. She shivered a little, "Y-yeah. Fine." Kisame nodded and focused on the boy in pain.

The jinchuriki. Naruto, the boy who had attacked her, was a jinchuriki as well. So she should get pissed. But this wasn't Naruto. Arashi hadn't even laid eyes on this boy until now. Being a medic, it was her instinct to help people in pain. But she couldn't that would be disobeying orders.

She was a medic, but she was also a medic of an evil organization. That hurt/killed people. And enjoyed it. _Ugh, whatever… Just forget about it_, she told herself.

But during those three long days, the thought haunted her.

Finally, during the third day, the process ended and a pupil formed in the eye that was now wide open. The jinchuriki flopped to the ground. It was obvious that he was no longer alive. And it was her fault… Partially. "It is done, good job," Pein said. Arashi stole a glance at Itachi and Kisame, who had fought Konoha ninja in order for the process to continue.

And now those ninja were outside, waiting for them. So that they could kill them. Leader ordered Deidara and Sasori to take care of them. She bit her lip as he eyes traveled to Deidara's missing arm. Arashi was only partially listening to the conversations taking place. Deidara wanted to know more about the jinchuriki… '_Hmph, ask me_,' Arashi thought, '_the jinchurki's a completely asshole.'_

Deidara scowled at Itachi's answer and leaped off the stone finger. The members were beginning to return to their bodies, and soon it was only Arashi left. "Hey," she called out to Deidara. He glanced up at her. "Don't mess this up," she ordered. Deidara chuckled, "Why are you telling me this?" She glared at him, "I don't know. For some reason, you always do something wrong."

Arashi broke her concentration before Deidara could say anything. Only instead of reappearing in the Akatsuki living room, she was on the floor. The rock floor that was cold. Arashi moaned in pain. "What the hell? What happened?" someone asked. "It was her first time, I think she's exhausted," a calmer voice answered. Pein… And Hidan.

Hidan scooped her into her arms, "Well whatever." She was carried to her room and onto her bed. Hidan gently kissed her forehead before leaving the room. Maybe if he was lucky, Deidara would die on this mission.

-----

"Well look who came crawling back." Arashi moaned and blinked her eyes open. "Yeah, yeah." Someone else mumbled. Arashi glanced out her window. Dark. It felt as this she'd slept for at least an entire day. Groaning, she slumped back down on her bed. Her entire sleep had been ridden with nightmares, although she couldn't remember any of them. Lots of running, and screaming… and blood. And dead guys.

She shivered, her head suddenly aching. "Where's Kakuzu…hmm?" The 'hmm' was enough to get Arashi out of her bed and on her feet. She bolted out of the room, slammed open the door and tackled Deidara to the ground. She was about to shower him with kisses when she realized he had no arms. She stared at him.

"Uh… I can explain, hmm!" Deidara said, desperately tried to defend himself. No good. "YOU IDIOT!" Arashi screeched. "I can't believe you… ARGH." She grabbed his shoulders and slammed his head against the floor. Itachi observed this with a mildly amused expression. "You're hurting him because he hurt himself?" the Uchiha asked.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Arashi retorted, not peeling her eyes off of her victim. Itachi shook his head, "That makes no sense but whatever." And he walked away. Arashi sighed, finally releasing Deidara from her death grip. "Ow," Deidara moaned, "You hit me too hard… And I can't rub my head, hmm." Arashi sighed and gently rubbed her boyfriend's scalp.

"I can't believe you…" she muttered, helping him up. Deidara frowned, "It's not my fault." Arashi rolled her eyes, "Well, come on. You were looking for Kakuzu?" Deidara nodded, and they began to walk towards the miser's room. "Does it hurt?" Arashi whispered. Deidara shrugged, "It's okay, hmm." She smirked and elbowed his ribs, "Idiot."

She opened the door to Kakuzu's room, "Hey! Kakuzu, Deidara's here!" The stitched man walked to the door. "Come in," he ordered, "I've got your arms." Deidara stepped inside and Arashi cautiously followed him. "Why do you have his arms?" she asked cautiously. Kakuzu stared at her, "I'm going to reattach them." Arashi's mouth fell open, "What? Really?" Kakuzu nodded.

She crushed him in a hug, "Thank you~" Kakuzu blinked. "We're hugging." Arashi giggled, "Yes, I know." The banker groaned and tried to pry Arashi off of him. She whined and tightened her grip. "Arashi, we're still hugging." When Arashi whined again, he added, "I'm a ninety-one year old man!" With that, she jumped away from Kakuzu, "Ew! Old man germs!" she wiped her hands on Deidara.

"Now then, can we begin now?" Kakuzu picked up Deidara's new arm, which was mouth less at the moment. "You're going to help, correct?" Kakuzu questioned. Arashi cocked her head, "Uh… Okay? What am I doing?" Kakuzu motioned for Deidara to take a seat. He nervously sat down, Kakuzu placing his arm next to him. "Now I'll just sew it back on," he explained. "You can do that?" Arashi asked. "Of course," Kakuzu said, "Now this may hurt a bit…"

Deidara gulped. Kakuzu picked up the arm and placed it on Deidara's armless stump. "Hold still," Kakuzu ordered. "Arashi, over here." She slowly approached the much older man. Black threads slithered out of Kakuzu's cloak. Deidara flinched. Oh god, tentacle rape! Instead of… you get the point, the threads weaved into Deidara's skin, connecting the new arm to his body.

Kakuzu nodded to Arashi, her cue. Arashi placed both of her hands near Deidara's arm that was slightly bleeding and pumped her chakra into the wound. The skin knit together with the help of Kakuzu's stitches. Finally, the arm was completely reattached. Deidara waved it around a little, just to be safe. "He'll add the mouth on later," Kakuzu explained, "Moving on." The other arm, with a mouth on it, was placed in his other armless stump. They repeated the process and Deidara had both of his arms back again.

(Note: I'm not sure which arm had a mouth and which didn't, so just pretend I know.)

Arashi squeaked with glee, crushed Kakuzu in a quick hug, and moved onto Deidara. "Please do not get all romantic here," Kakuzu pleaded. She stuck her tongue out at him and dragged Deidara out into the hallway. She noticed something odd about one of Deidara's arms and tapped it, "Wood?" she asked. Deidara nodded, "Yeah, from… Sasori's … workshop." His voice faltered.

"… Hey, where's Sasori?" Arashi asked, "I haven't given him his welcome back hug." Deidara remained silent, "Uh… We should be in the living room by now…hmm." Arashi stopped him, forcing him to look at her. "Where's Sasori?" she asked, a hint of worry in her eyes. Deidara sighed.

"He's dead," Hidan answered, suddenly behind her. Arashi whirled around to face him, "Wh-what?"

"Some Leaf kunoichi and an old hag got him when we separated, hmm," Deidara said. Hidan nodded solemnly. She blinked slowly, thoughts flashing back to the two people that had captured her. Deidara and…

She broke down, sobbing into Hidan's bare (sexy) chest. He sighed, gently rubbing her back. "Why are all the women the only one's getting emotional?" Deidara rolled his eyes at his rival and walked towards Arashi. "We're having his funeral, hmm." She continued to sob. "Uh… He had a good life?"

"You're not helping dumbass," Hidan hissed. "Konan's crying in her room, and Leader said that he gave her comfort food. We should bring her there." Deidara nodded and the two dragged Arashi to Konan's room.

And Konan was indeed sobbing, her makeup running down her tear stained cheeks. Chocolate ice cream and other sugary sweets littered the room, and Pein was in a corner. "Her too?" he asked. Hidan and Deidara nodded, plopping Arashi on the bed. "Kona…?" she choked. "Ara?" the blue haired woman answered. Then the two were hugging, crying on each other.

"I think they'll be preoccupied for a while," Pein stated, "Come on." They left the women alone to cry and eat excessive amounts of sweets. "Why?" Arashi demanded, "Why, why, why?" Konan pat her shoulder gently, wiping an escaping tear. "It's okay…" Arashi continued her little rant. "I hate those stupid Konoha shinobi!" she said, "They think we're evil-""We are," Konan said. Arashi ignored her. "And yet they do terrible things to us! It makes me so…" she couldn't finish her sentence as more tears flowed.

They fell silent, shoving chocolates into their mouths. "Konan," Arashi whispered, setting the sweets done. She paused and looked at her. Arashi hugged her knees, "I'm scared…" she wiped her wet cheek. Konan scooted closer. "There's nothing to be afraid of." Arashi sniffled, "But… Who will be next?" Konan sighed, "Arashi, no one will be next." She smiled and grabbed her hand, "Come on, the funeral's starting soon."

-----

It was a pretty nice funeral, actually. The night was clear and the stars shone above. In order to distract herself from Sasori's body that was being carried it, Arashi glanced at the other tombstones. She gently pulled on Kakuzu's sleeve in order to get his attention. "Hey, who are… were those guys?" she asked. "Oh, my old partners," he replied. "What happened to them?" Kakuzu shrugged, "I killed them."

Arashi decided it was a good time to move away.

As soon as Sasori was in his coffin underneath the ground, Pein cleared his throat. "Let us not put Sasori's sacrifice to waste. We still have more jinchuriki to collect. Hidan, Kakuzu, except to depart soon." Kakuzu nodded, and Hidan looked very excited. The criminals began to make their way back into the base. "Wait," Arashi pulled on Leader's sleeve. "Someone just died and you're sending more people out so soon?"

"Many people in this organization have died," Pein stated. "Oh yeah? Who?" Arashi demanded. He gestured to Kakuzu's old partners and walked back to the base. That left Arashi alone. "Maybe I'll stay outside longer…" she mumbled to herself and trekked towards the forest.

The earthy scent relaxed her at once, clearing her mind. She found a large boulder to sit on and tilted her head up to the sky. A smile formed on her lips.

_**Arashi.**_

She yelped and fell to the ground. "Ack! Oh god, I'm hearing voices! Iji was right, I am going insane!" she cried.

… _**Are you done yet? It's me, Pein.**_

"You're a voice in my head?"

… _**The ring that you wear allows me to communicate with you.**_

"So why are you talking to me?"

_**I need to inform you that you will be transporting Hidan and Kakuzu to the various places they will go on their mission.**_

"What am I? A trolley?"

_**Yes. Now head back to the base.**_

"Tch. Fine," she mumbled and got off of her rock. "When exactly are we leaving?"

_**That is Kakuzu's decision.**_

"… Can all the members communicate like this?"

_**No. Only me.**_

_Hiii Arashi!_

"Konan!"

_**What the? KONAN stop doing that!**_

_Pein, quit being so cranky._

_**Quit using the communication lines!**_

_Ugh, whatever. Take more Advil._

_**Fine. And give me a massage. I'm feeling tense.**_

_Massage yourself._

"I got an idea. How about both of you quit using my head as your personal telephone," Arashi said as she opened the doors.

_**Fine, fine. Konan, let's go.**_

Almost as soon as she was inside, Arashi bumped into a very distressed looking Deidara. He grabbed her shoulders. "Arashi, you have to help me, hmm." Immediately worried, she asked, "What is it?"

"My new partner… He's… He's…"

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI~!"

Her frown twisted into a smile. "Tobi's finally in the Akatsuki now, is he?" Deidara nodded, "And we won't leave me alone, hmm!"

"Sempai! Where are you? Tobi's looking for you like the good boy he is!" Tobi called.

"HE'S OVER HERE TOBI!" Arashi called. Deidara paled, "Wait! Why'd you do that?"

"SEMPAI!" Tobi appeared out of no where and tackled Deidara to the ground. "Tobi was wondering if you would give him an art lesson!" the masked ninja said happily. "No!" Deidara growled, "Idiots like you can't understand art! Hmm!"

"… But Tobi isn't an idiot…"

"Yes he is! Now get the hell off of me!" Deidara roared. "Be nice, Deidara," Arashi ordered, pulling the two to their feet. "Arashi-chan! Do you like Tobi's cloak?" the newest member asked, twirling a little to show off. "Yes, it looks very nice on you. Now go give him an art lesson Deidara."

Deidara crossed his arms, "No way, hmm." She glared at him. "Deidara…" she warned with venom in her voice. Deidara sighed, "Come on, Tobi." He began walking in the direction of his room, Tobi bouncing after him.

Arashi smiled. Now, who else should she annoy? With her mind made up, she skipped over to Hidan's room. Without knocking, of course, she bashed the door down and glomped Hidan, pinning him to the ground.

"Hidan! Wait… Zetsu?"

Zetsu squirmed beneath her, "**Wrong room you idiot!** Do you mind getting off me?" Arashi crawled off of him. "Hidan's in the basement, **doing some creepy shit.**"

"We have a basement?"

Zetsu nodded. Arashi pouted, "Well then…"

"**Do you wanna get off of me?**"

Arashi climbed off of Zetsu. "So… You eat people, huh?" the plant man nodded. She shrugged and skipped off to prevent Deidara from strangling Tobi.

When she arrived, however, she was a tad late. "TOBI! YOU IDIOT, HMM."

"Tobi is sorry! Tobi will be a good boy!"

"I MADE THAT SCULPTURE FOR ARA…shi…" he glanced up at Arashi and loosened his grip on Tobi's throat. "Uh… Hey…" Tobi wriggled out of Deidara's arms and raced out the door, "Tobi doesn't wanna see you two make out!" Deidara growled at him.

"Sculpture?" Arashi asked. "Yeah…But Tobi broke it, hmm." He gestured towards the shattered pieces. Arashi sighed and hugged him, "It's the thought that counts." Deidara returned the hug and gently kissed her forehead. Arashi yawned. "I'm going to bed," she announced. "Good night then, hmm."

And Arashi flopped onto Deidara's bed and crawled under the covers. "What?" Deidara got to his feet. Arashi yawned again, "I'm sleeping here." Shrugging, the sculptor crawled under the covers next to her. Arashi sighed contently and snuggled into his arms.

They were silent for the longest time until Deidara spoke up. "Hey, Arashi?" She groaned, "What?" He was silent again for a while. "Who do you love more, hmm?"

Arashi frowned at his question. "For the final time, I love you both." Deidara held her closer, "But you're going to have to choose, hmm." She hissed angrily at him, "No."

"Why?" he asked. Ugh, he was so annoying. She looked up to face him. "What if I loved Hidan more?" Deidara flinched, "Do you?" Arashi blinked, "No!"

"You love me more, hmm?"

Arashi growled and buried her face in his chest. "I can't dump either one of you or I'll screw up your life," she explained. "And I don't even know why both of you like me…"

"Why?" Deidara asked. She sighed, "I'm ugly," Deidara was about to protest, but she continued, "I have stupid pointy teeth, my hair's messy. I'm as flat as hell." Deidara blushed slightly. "I'm a major treehugger. I can transform to five monsters, I speak to animals, and I grew up with animals. And I eat out of garbage cans."

"That's a long list, hmm." Arashi sniffled, "Don't rub it in." He chuckled and tilted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. "But what about reasons to love you instead of reason to not love you?" She squirmed out of his grip. "There is no 'Reasons to love Arashi' list. It's blank."

"Not for me, hmm."

"Whatever. I don't really care about my looks anyway." She turned her back to him "Now shut up and go to sleep."

In a few moments, Deidara had fallen asleep, but his questions kept Arashi wide awake. Who did she love more? Deidara or Hidan. … Or who did she hate more? Arashi growled and forcefully shut her eyes.

More importantly, who would be the next one to die?

-----

It was a few days before Hidan and Kakuzu would leave.

She was bored. And when Arashi was bored, she usually annoyed people. But who to annoy?

"LEADER-SAN!"

Pein inwardly groaned as Arashi opened the door to the office. "What, Arashi?" She skipped over to his desk and sat in the chair. "You should take Konan on a date!"

He glared at her, "You're not in charge of me." She pouted, "Oh come on! You're way too stressed out; you need to get away from all of us." He continued to glare. "...Fine," he finally said, rising out of his seat. He pressed the button in order to call a meeting.

She followed him out of the office and into the living room, where the Akatsuki had already gathered. Arashi sat next to Hidan on the couch. "Alright everyone," Pein mumbled, "Konan and I are leaving, so don't do anything stupid while we're gone." He grabbed Konan's hand and pulled her outside.

They were silent until the door slammed shut. "Kisame!" Hidan shouted, "Get the drinks!" Kisame jumped to his feet and dashed out of the room. "I'll get some food, hmm," Deidara announced. "Are we having a party?" Kawauso asked.

"Hell yeah!" Hidan replied. "Leader's gone, and we can do whatever we want!" Kawauso smiled, "Sweet!" Deidara came in and set tons of unhealthy food on the living room table. Kakuzu muttered, "This is bad idea."

"Aw, lighten up, Kakuzu-san!" Tobi chirped. Then Kisame came in and set bottles on the table. Beer bottles. Arashi flinched.

Hidan cheered and swiped a bottle off the table. He popped the cap and began to chug it. Arashi shifted away from the alcohol. Hidan slammed the bottle down, already empty, and wiped his mouth, "What's the matter?"

Kawauso rolled his eyes, "Nah, Arashi doesn't like alcohol after the one time she got drunk."

Arashi glowered at him, "Drunk is putting it mildly." Kisame rose and eyebrow and took a swig of his beer. "You got wasted?"

"Again, putting it mildly."

Itachi tentatively sipped his own drink. "Now I'm interested." Deidara nudged her arm, "C'mon, hmm. What happened?" Arashi blushed and averted her eyes, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine, I'll say something," Kawauso stated. "A while ago, me and Kashira and Iji and Arashi were together and we went to a restaurant. Arashi was accidently given some wine and she didn't know it. So she took a sip and chugged the whole thing down. She said her drink tasted different, but good." Arashi's tattoo flashed a light embarrassed pink. Kawauso smirked and continued, "So we were eating, and suddenly she fell to the ground. Oh man, it was freaky. She was groaning and clutching her head."

Kawauso closed his eyes, reliving the experience. "Alcohol happens to have a weird effect on Arashi. It boosts her strength and speed."

"Nice," Hidan said, placing his third emptied bottle on the table. "That's very useful," Itachi pointed out. Kawauso laughed nervously. "Well it is I guess… But… Arashi gets faster and stronger, sure… But there's a disadvantage to it."

"What?" Kakuzu asked. "Arashi turns into a deranged psychopath. In a few minutes, she was off the walls and eating everyone's food. She destroyed a few buildings and we were kicked out of the village. Never drank alcohol again."

Arashi's sigh was the only sound in the room. "Wow," Zetsu murmured. "Yeah, I know," Kawauso said. Arashi glanced over towards Hidan. "Uh, maybe you should go a little easy…" Hidan hiccupped and smirked, "Nah, I don't get drunk that quickly."

Arashi sighed. "You're all going to get hangovers, and I'm going to have to deal with it," she mumbled.

And about a half an hour later, all the Akatsuki members, minus Arashi and Kawauso, were drunk. Really drunk. Arashi sat quietly on the couch and observed as they all stumbled around or passed out. Kawauso was armed with a video camera, and was catching the whole thing on tape.

So far, Kakuzu and Tobi were passed out. The numbers were likely to go up. Itachi was searching for Sasuke and burning the furniture. Kisame and Itachi were trying to eat each other, something that Arashi was too lazy to try and prevent. And Hidan and Deidara… Well…

Hidan mistook Deidara for a girl. More precisely, he thought he was Arashi. So they started making out. Kawauso filmed this the most. Arashi disapproved of this.

But soon, they were all conscious and each had a huge hangover.

Pein and Konan arrived to see Arashi trying to calm each of their headaches. Pein sighed, "I knew this was a bad idea." Konan giggled. "I know, but thanks anyway!"

At least during the party, Sasori's death was forgotten.

And they also forgot that Hidan and Kakuzu would be leaving the next day.

-----

_**OMG HI! This took a while, I know. But I want you to **__**go to my profile thing and do the poll thing**__**. Or else I'll kill you. :)**_


	18. THE END SADLY

MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES.

But Taming a Wild Beast will not update any more chapters. I am FAR too busy writing my own stories. Not fan fictions. In fact, I am writing THREE of my own stories. Count them. One. Two. THREE.

So no more chapters and stuff. Thanks a lot for all those reviews. And for those who liked my writing, you could read my other stuff. Here are short summaries of all of them.

WING IT / TURBULENCE / THE EYE OF THE STORM (it's a trilogy)

Alright. This one's a fantasy. It's about gryphons. So there's this war between birds and serpents. The birds are like phoenixes and gryphons and Pegasus (half bird half horse). And the serpents are hydra, dragons, and all that.

SO. These teenagers are all picked by gryphons (who appear to them as ordinary birds). And the gryphons are all like their partners so they are forced to JOIN THE EPIC BATTLE!

And then stuff happens.

DOWNLOAD

Not sure if this one will have more than one title. But it's pretty sweet. Okay so everything on the computer is like living things! Like all these programs are creatures and stuff. So this virus gets sent on April fool's day to WRECK HAVOC. But then he gets sucked into this girl's iPod. And then she's stuck with him. And it gets worse when all the programs in the computer are being RELEASED into reality. And if too many enter reality, then REALITY AND CYBERSPACE WILL MERGE. AHHH.

But that's when our awesome team of four computer programs, a virus, and a human come in! Yay! Not to mention other programs INCLUDING GOOGLE! Yay Google!

This idea isn't like brand new or anything, but not a lot of chapters are up. Wing It has six chapters. Download has 1 and a prologue.

PHOENIX

I'm pretty sure this one will have more titles. And this idea is BRAND NEW. So it doesn't have much up. BUT I have most of the idea.

Okay so it's set in the future when a disease has turned most of humanity into MUTANTS. So they're like human beasts. And they all want to kill humans. So everyone is freaked out about being infected. The infected go off and join their pack of the same species. So we have wolf packs and lions and snakes and everything.

Now Hunter is a human and he lives in a little town with some humans who aren't infected. But then one day, his little brother TYSON turns into a WOLF MUTANT! OH NO!

So when Tyson runs away, the townspeople all want him to get disinfected. But Hunter was already "disinfected." And it hurt like HELL. So he runs away because he fears that he will be killed. And when he's running away, Hunter bumps into Kassandra.

So he and Kass band together and survive together.

That is… Until Hunter starts acting kinda funny.

BUM. BUM. BUUUUUMMM.

So there you have it. You can find me on deviantArt as Keeyote.

Here's the address.

.com/

THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL.


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